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Attachment


Hertz

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I wonder if there are any people out there with attachment issues similar to mine.

Basically, I can't develop feelings of attachment. I have friends and relations and appreciate social stimulation, but I don't feel love.
I don't think it is a an attachment style issue. I had a therapist suggest I may have an avoidant attachment style, but I think it goes beyond that. The feelings are just not there.
This leaves me feeling disconnected from others, and myself as well.

 

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13 hours ago, Epictetus said:

I may perhaps feel similar to how you feel but I am not sure.  Love means so many things to so many people.  I don't know. 

Yes it does. Maybe it's the wrong word. My issue is really about attachment and being unable to summon it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

 Yes, for the last few years, and it has been worrying.  The first thing I think of is some personality disorder but then i realize not everything needs to be a diagnosis! 

It's feeling more like a defense and fear of loss. I also wonder if certain medication has anything to do with it.  Anyway i do think i can relate on some level. 

 

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On 2/16/2020 at 4:28 PM, Hertz said:

I wonder if there are any people out there with attachment issues similar to mine.

Basically, I can't develop feelings of attachment. I have friends and relations and appreciate social stimulation, but I don't feel love.
I don't think it is a an attachment style issue. I had a therapist suggest I may have an avoidant attachment style, but I think it goes beyond that. The feelings are just not there.
This leaves me feeling disconnected from others, and myself as well.

 

I have noticed this in myself lately. I do have people in my life that I care about and am attached to but I rarely feel love. If I have ever felt love before it hasn’t been in years. People I should feel love for I simply don’t have those feelings. In turn if they tell me that they love me I cannot feel those feelings in return. I’m not sure what causes this but it does prevent me from bonding more deeply with people or experiencing the richer feelings of existence. Somewhere along the line it just happened. I don’t know why.

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  • 3 months later...
On 2/16/2020 at 9:28 PM, Hertz said:

I wonder if there are any people out there with attachment issues similar to mine.

Basically, I can't develop feelings of attachment. I have friends and relations and appreciate social stimulation, but I don't feel love.
I don't think it is a an attachment style issue. I had a therapist suggest I may have an avoidant attachment style, but I think it goes beyond that. The feelings are just not there.
This leaves me feeling disconnected from others, and myself as well.

 

There are positives and negatives to not attaching to people, in your case there are more negatives than positives because if you feel that way towards people then it will be hard to make efforts in relationships and keep people around you. You need to have emotions and be able to trust people. That is the issue you are struggling to trust people. Trust however is something earned and not just given. I still think you should give some people the benefit of the doubt. The ones that seem more genuine in their approach to you. 

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