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I really need some advice if possible...


Zagor

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Some of us, when we feel down, we fell careless and question if would it be better off dead. But when something scary happens then it's a different thinking.

A year and a half ago I did an abdominal CT scan for abdominal pain and bloating including real bad "silent acid reflux" that's lasting for years. They found a cyst on my bile duct. I repeated the scan in August last year and it says same, a congenital stable cyst, born with it. Two doctors said don't worry about it. Then I saw someone like specialist or something for the reflux and he set appointment for endoscopy in 7 weeks time.

However, this past Wednesday he called me to the office. He says he will refer me to a surgeon because of the cyst on bile duct. He says it can become cancerous. I googled later and read on 2 websites that it can become and the chances for someone of my age is 26%. And incurable. What's even more confusing, even after surgery, the chances for developing a cancer are from 2.5% to 30%. Yesterday I spoke to my family doctor and she said she never heard of it and she doesn't send her patients for surgery when she finds that even though internet says its a rare disorder. But follow the specialists orders she said.

 

So it added to my anxiety and stress 99 fold. It effects my depression too. I have no more strength to do things or look forward for anything. Simply too scared. And it is going to take months until something is done about it.

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Hi Zagor,

     I'm so sorry for the ordeals you are suffering over these medical issues.  I think your thoughts and feelings are totally understandable!

     Would it be possible for you to consult with a specialist at a world-class hospital like the Mayo Clinic, Cleveland Clinic or some other such highly rated institution?

      Sometimes institutes such as these can offer alternatives that other physicians might not be aware of.  They are also sometimes knowledgeable about the latest diagnostic and treatment options.

      In some cases they offer holistic approaches to patients so that things like depression and anxiety are also dealt with since any aspect of health affects total health.  

          Are you seeing a therapist about your anxiety and depression?  And are you in the care of a physician for your depression? 

     You write that the chances that your cyst could become cancerous is 26%.  Doesn't that mean that the chances of it not becoming cancerous is 74%? 

     And if after surgery, the worst case scenario is that developing cancer after surgery is 30%, doesn't that mean that the chances of not developing cancer is 70%?

     The things I have written here are just the opinions of a fellow sufferer of depression and anxiety.  I am not a physician or medical professional of any kind and so my opinions cannot and should not be relied upon. 

     I have been in medical situations similar to the one you describe and know how awful it is to be terrified of what the future might hold.

     No one who has not been in such a situation can possibly understand how if feels or how it worsens anxiety and depression.  It is utterly terrifying and demoralizing.   What you describe is not abstract to me but very real and vivid.

     What helped me a lot during that time was having a mission in life.  I volunteered to help other people and it gave my life a focus and meaning.  It also distracted me from my worries and pain.  I determined each day to try to help someone in need so that my life would leave the the world a little bit better. 

     My health is very precarious even now.  I realize that I could be taken from life at any time and there is little I can do about it.  So I have dedicated my life to helping others in some way even if some days I can only help one person or one animal.

     I want my life, however, limited it might be, to mean something.  I want to say that I am more than the pain, the fear, the "not knowing". 

     Once when I was quarantined in my home and not allowed to go out in public because of an illness, I tried to help animals.  I would feed the little animals around my house.  I even gave bread crumbs to ants.  I read somewhere that a person can endure any "how" if they have a "why" for living. 

    When I was bedridden and couldn't do much of anything, I used to go into Facebook and just "like" the things people had posted about their lives as a way of giving others a little pat on the back.  I was so weak that was all I could do.  

     No matter how awful I felt I tried to remember that things could be worse for me and were not worse.  I could be paralyzed but was not.  I could be trapped in a burning building but was not.  I could have an illness where even pain medications were ineffective but I didn't have such an illness.  That helped me to go on and endure.

     Your posts here on the Forum have helped me and I am grateful to you for them!

     Perhaps none of these ideas would help you or others who are reading this.  We are all different and what helps one of us might be useless to someone else.

     I hope you find something that helps you, Zagor !   You are someone very special to me and the others here on the Forums who are struggling.  

    I also hope that others here have more helpful words for you than my poor words!  You will be in my thoughts and I am rooting for you!

- Epictetus

PS:  A book that helped me a lot during the worst medical crisis of my life was called "The Worry Cure."  I forgot who wrote it.  I don't know if it is still in print or available in libraries.  Perhaps there are better books than this one too.  I just know it helped me enormously when I was totally overwhelmed.

 

     

    

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Hey Epictetus. Thank you for your kind respond. When people get blinded by fear they have difficulties thinking rationally. I have no options to look at Mayo or other clinics. If it wasn't for this doctor I would leave this issue alone. My family doctor refuses to do any testings and I have to go with this slow moving doctor. I am trying not to worry because I have worried my whole life about things. I will try to look for that book. Thanks again.

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  • 3 months later...
On 2/15/2020 at 9:40 AM, Zagor said:

Some of us, when we feel down, we fell careless and question if would it be better off dead. But when something scary happens then it's a different thinking.

A year and a half ago I did an abdominal CT scan for abdominal pain and bloating including real bad "silent acid reflux" that's lasting for years. They found a cyst on my bile duct. I repeated the scan in August last year and it says same, a congenital stable cyst, born with it. Two doctors said don't worry about it. Then I saw someone like specialist or something for the reflux and he set appointment for endoscopy in 7 weeks time.

However, this past Wednesday he called me to the office. He says he will refer me to a surgeon because of the cyst on bile duct. He says it can become cancerous. I googled later and read on 2 websites that it can become and the chances for someone of my age is 26%. And incurable. What's even more confusing, even after surgery, the chances for developing a cancer are from 2.5% to 30%. Yesterday I spoke to my family doctor and she said she never heard of it and she doesn't send her patients for surgery when she finds that even though internet says its a rare disorder. But follow the specialists orders she said.

 

So it added to my anxiety and stress 99 fold. It effects my depression too. I have no more strength to do things or look forward for anything. Simply too scared. And it is going to take months until something is done about it.

Pray and take action. Many people have beaten cancer. You can beat it too, you just need the right help and the right solutions. 

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