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Flippedupside

Ive been bullied all my life

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I'm 38 years old, friendless and an easy target for bullies. For as long as I remember I've been bullied and I want to change so people like me and be my friend.  I never had an easy life, my dad used to bully me and my sisters and pretty much everyone else did too. With bullying came depression and I remember when I was 10 i swallowed pills just so it would stop. I've tried a few times and it didn't work. I used to cut myself but now I pull my hair out, not chunks just strands, I've bald spots and my hair is thinner, it makes me feel better, to me it doesn't matter if I have nice hair as I've been told I'm ugly countless times so  why have nice hair, is my thinking, its not normal and I know it's not but I'm ashamed to see the doctor.  I work in care, it's low paid and thankless but it's a job I enjoy as I treat people how I'd like to be treated myself. One of the colleagues there is older and makes comments about me to others in front of me, her children used to shout how ugly I was whenever I walked past them. I don't know what I've ever done to them or anyone to be treated so poorly and hated. 

 

Sorry its a jumble, I'm in tears and just off a long shift, I just can't carry on with how things are anymore.  What do I do

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4 hours ago, Flippedupside said:

I'm 38 years old, friendless and an easy target for bullies. For as long as I remember I've been bullied and I want to change so people like me and be my friend.  I never had an easy life, my dad used to bully me and my sisters and pretty much everyone else did too. With bullying came depression and I remember when I was 10 i swallowed pills just so it would stop. I've tried a few times and it didn't work. I used to cut myself but now I pull my hair out, not chunks just strands, I've bald spots and my hair is thinner, it makes me feel better, to me it doesn't matter if I have nice hair as I've been told I'm ugly countless times so  why have nice hair, is my thinking, its not normal and I know it's not but I'm ashamed to see the doctor.  I work in care, it's low paid and thankless but it's a job I enjoy as I treat people how I'd like to be treated myself. One of the colleagues there is older and makes comments about me to others in front of me, her children used to shout how ugly I was whenever I walked past them. I don't know what I've ever done to them or anyone to be treated so poorly and hated. 

 

Sorry its a jumble, I'm in tears and just off a long shift, I just can't carry on with how things are anymore.  What do I do

I hate to hear this and I'm almost in tears from reading your post.  You do not deserved

to be treated like this.  If I was you I would just go to the doctor and get me something to

 help me better with the bad people that are doing bad things to you.  And once you become

stronger perhaps you could report them to the right people so that something can

be done about this. 

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Flippedupside

Your post is painful to read so I can only imagine how it feels to live it.  You have people here who will care about you and treat you well.  Nothing you say can be too much, and we are glad to listen.  Write as often and as long as you need to.

Thinking of you --

womanofthelight

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Dear Flipped. I am new to this forum and yours is the first post I've read - I feel like I've just been punched in the face. I don't think I'll ever understand human behavior like this. The part that amazes me is the lack of empathy, remorse, and respect. These people that do this to you hon, they don't deserve to share your space. I would call them animals, but that would be an insult to animals. They are way way below that, maybe like some slime sucker that lives beneath the earth. Imagine what their childhoods must have been like. I'll bet you whatever is in my wallet ;-) that they were treated as such, and grew up feeling insecure about themselves, and it festered until they became horrible adults, probably just like their parents. One thing I do know - this is the honest truth, and once you know this it's pretty empowering - when humans behave this way, it's because they are insecure with themselves. The only thing that can make them feel better about themselves is to belittle, put down, and make fun of someone else. When you really see them this way, in truth, it takes the sting out of whatever they may say or do. Like who cares - have you ever tried saying something snobby back? I would! What are they going to do in public? Nothing. If someone called me ugly, I'd say your momma's ugly!  :-) Try it 

 

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