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What is bothering me?


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Sorry for my grammatik problems. 

I am a social guy who talks a lot and is in most of the attention. Many people who i have talked to think of me as someone who has no problems and is flowing through life. I change personalities so i can make them laugh or so they can open to me. I know how everybody reacts but yet many people dont know how i react to diffrent situations. Now to get to the problem. I have for the first time read a manga which is a story drawn in panels. First time i have read one and it was about a girl who bullied a guy and later on they felt in love with each other and ecetera. After i was done i felt a feeling like being empty. this has gone now for 4 days and i have cried every single night which is some thing im not used to. I dont know if its because i feel in love with the fictional character (i know its emberassing) or if its how the girls behaviour is so unik that not many in real life girls have. Maybe its because of how the guy has someone so relaible and how they both love each other. Or it might be that the girl started predict how the guy acts, what i mean by this is that the guy has a quirk in which he says ¨putting that aside¨ and then does a gesture with his arm. The girl has caught on this and later on the chapters she does it the same time he does it as well. Were im getting at is that i might be angry that she understand him so well but no one understands me. I have through a lot in my life. I have been molested in forth grade. I personality problems in which i cant agree with my self and cry on actions i took. I see things which people dont see. And i have done things which i am keeping to the grave yeet none of the actions have made me feel like this. Has a 2d fictional character which is drawn by a person really made feel so deppressed that the other actions which happend to me dont even compare? How come this out of all things is making me so ****ing messed in the head. When ever i listen to a soung which has the girl from the manga as a background picture, i always cry. Why am i feeling like this. I am not in love but then what is it. I am also 17 years if that helps in anyway.

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Hi @Muhammed. Welcome to the Depression Forum.

Being age 17 is very difficult. You are on the threshold of adulthood but still enjoying youth.  I was obsessed with finding a girlfriend at that age. It constantly occupied my mind. My emotions ran wild.

You are a sensitive person, which can make life even more complex. Many of us here are the same. Realizing that about myself helped me to cope with life's challenges.


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I am so sorry you are suffering, Muhammed.  I agree with what JD has said.  I wish I knew what to else to say but sadly I lack knowledge and experience.   The human brain is so mysterious.  Why does it like what it likes?  Why does it do what it does to us?  It is almost as if it had a mind of its own. 

I do want to welcome you to these Forums.  All of us here are fellow sufferers of one thing or another.  Sometimes it can help to communicate with fellow sufferers even though their stories are different than our own.

Hopefully you will get many responses to your poignant post and that you will find that they are helpful to you.  I wish you only the best!

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