Jump to content
Charlee

I am so depressed

Recommended Posts

I'm so depressed and everyday it seems to be getting worse. I'm just so sad and miserable and I cant see any way out of this. Its been 9-10 years since it all started and i'm like wtf do I do? I cant keep living like this, I cant carry on, I cant do it. I cant work, I can hardly leave the house I cant live life like this, and there seems to be no way out. I'm stuck, i'm cutting, not eating, smoking too much weed, taking too many Benzo's. I cant cope and I can feel it in my bones that my life will end by my doing, it feels like I wont make it to 30, I just cant carry on, I cant do it. 

I think about things I could do to help myself, like trying to get out of the house at least once a day, go walking or running, making an effort to eat healthy, join groups to make friends and meet people, but the thought of doing any of that scares the shit out of me and I cant make myself do anything so I just sit in my sadness and wallow about my lack of ability to do anything.

Everything feels so hard rn, even taking a shower is hard. Hope its better for you guys. ❤️✌️

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is always possible to reinvent oneself.

We all have a vast tool box of powerful metaphors.

Powerful and clever metaphors can be invoked to change course and redirect your life.

Instead of cutting yourself try to metaphorically cut every bad habit one at a time.

We must be stronger and smarter than Old Man Depression.

Please Despair not/REPAIR a lot.

We are here for you.

Oscar

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear Charlee. I feel like the way you say, just pure and only depressed, every day, every day the same, a constant boredom everyday, with no one to talk, and not much to do, watching the outside from my window, just going out to buy things or do small things, but no joy. 

I try to feel joy with simple things, but nothing reaaally worthles.

I feel like an empty shell. I just do things to dont feel the void. I trick myself to feel things are ok, but its just empty. 

Today is friday and im just going to stay at home, because i dont have any other thing to do. Its just wait, until sleep, and wait for another day to do the same. 

I still dont loose the hope, and i keep tricking myself to feel ok, but my reality is so so far from how I wish my life was. Im all days tired, and every thing requires a big amount of energy and I end up exhausted.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry, Charlee.  Wish I knew what to say?

When I was at the point you describe, I was helped by medication.  It turned my life around.  I was in a psychiatric hospital at the time. 

Medication was what helped me the most.  I realize that some people do not respond well to medication. 

Don't know what I would do if I was in that situation.  Depression really destroys everything it touches.  Even lucky things and happy surprises turned sour when I was severely depressed.  People who have never suffered serious depression have NO idea.

Hope that somehow . . . someway . . . that things get better for you.  Sorry I don't know what to say to help!

- epictetus

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm really sorry to know how much you're struggling right now, @Charlee. I want you to know you're worthwhile and you matter - whether or not you feel you're having a productive day or making an impact somehow. I'm grateful you're a member of this community, your presence here enriches it. 

Each of us is fighting some battle inside. You wrote that your brain telling is you to be afraid of everything. Thanks for sharing that. Me too. 

Hope you feel a little less alone and empty today. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for the replies guys ❤️❤️ im doing ok, I actually had a pretty good week which I feel like I havnt had in ages, but always after ive had a good week the following one is a huge downer. Do you guys feel like your bad days are worse on your days off because you have nothing to occupy your mind, so it goes to really extreme dark places and you're like "brain, wtf are you doing?!" 

hope you are doing better @mmd thats exactly how I feel too, all the time, and people can say "just keep holding on, it gets better" and im like "when is the better coming?!" 

I try and tell my brain to stop going there, and this isn't me, Its ****ed, depression is so debilitating and its almost impossible to tell anyone what its like because on the outside you look normal and fine but really you want to die. 

Thanks for the support, it helps to remind me that im not alone and am not the only one struggling like this, love ❤️❤️

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Charlee,

You are most definitely NOT alone in ANY of this.  EVERYTHING that you’re describing is very familiar to me.  Why?  Because I’ve lived through it & deal with depressive symptoms on most days, to one degree or another.

Climbing out of this abyss is difficult, but it CAN be done.  How do I know?  Because I’ve experienced that too.  It’s possible, but takes time, effort, commitment, support, therapy, meds, a good Dr., a good therapist, trying to develop a few friendships, exercise, diet, hobbies, reading, self-examination, working on the self, the list can go on.

My point here is this.  If we truly want to get beyond this stuff, we have to be willing to step out of our comfort zones.  When depressed, this clearly can be impossible on bad days.  On somewhat better days, it’s DIFFICULT but it’s POSSIBLE.  It can take more will than you think you have on some days.  Doing our best to claw our way out of this abyss on a daily basis, especially over time, is absolutely essential.  None of us can do this every day.  That’s just not realistic, according to my experience.

Developing friendships on here is an EXTREMELY powerful element of support.  It’s priceless.  But again, we ourselves have to participate in our own recovery.  Staying active on here is one of the most powerful ways in which we participate in our own recovery & quest for wellbeing.

All this takes time.  It sucks, but the reality is that this is not at all an overnight process.  I don’t give a shit about whether or not you believe that recovery is possible for yourself.  I’m here to tell you that it is.  It’s definitely possible & you CAN get better.  But... we have no choice but to hang in there.  We get really sick of people telling us to “hang in there”.  Believe me, I get it.  BUT... at the end of the day, there’s no other way to approach this.

Hang around here, make friends, post, gripe, cry, yell, swear, whatever it may be.  Stick around & KEEP SHARING.

Adam

♥️😉

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, adamrparr said:

@Charlee,

Hang around here, make friends, post, gripe, cry, yell, swear, whatever it may be.  Stick around & KEEP SHARING.

Adam

♥️😉

What Adam said, X 1,000,000.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...