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Why should I go on?


Zagor

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This would be probably the first time in my life where I am losing all hope and think that dying is the way out.

- Almost 30 years battleing depression, anxiety, panic, depersonalization and many many many other problems both physical and mental.

- My father is at hospital and after his radiation he was supposed to do surgery but things got worse

-My mother is diabetic and very sick, worries me to death.

-My younger brother has severe mental illness

- My child is having severe anxiety related to school and him being a cancer survivor every time he gets sick from cold or something worry too much.

- I am 40 and I have no point in life. Being on disability and having no friends (and all the stuff above plus much more) makes me a good candidate to end this misery

Why would I live? Just to suffer more and more?

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Zagor:  

I get what you are saying, and also have many reasons of my own, many similar to yours, to question whether to go on living or not.  It is hard to make the distinction between just surviving, or surviving with some quality of life.  In your case, my driving force to live might be for your child.  Sounds like he has been so much, a caancer survivor, certainly as a parent you will worry, and with anxiety those feelings can be 100 fold.  He has fought hard to survive, probably largely to your love and support.  To me he is worth living for.  He needs you.  And it is terrible to here that your father is ill as well as your mom, and your brother suffering from mental illness.  Sounds like they need you as well.  I understand the depression, anxiety having suffered from it for 20 years along with coping a chronic illness.  Everything is overwhelming that coping seems almost impossible.  The positives for you are you have a family and a child.  In comparison, I do not.  I get your frustration, and I'm not judging or trying to talk you out of anything, but encouranging you to take a step back and try to take away the negatives and look at some of the positives.  It is a new year and perhaps a new beginning.  Whatever the case I wish the best for you and your family.  And we at DF are always there for you!

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Hi Zagor,

     I am so very, very sorry for the terrible ordeal you are enduring.

     Highanxiety has expressed what I wanted to say and I do not really have any words better than his.  I hope that somehow you will be able to go on.  Wish I knew what else to say to you.  So sorry for the many terrible losses you have suffered.  It is really heartbreaking what you have gone through.

- epictetus

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Hello Zagor,

Our sympathies for all the pain in your life right now.  Yes, life can be full of challenging situations.  Some of those situations will not have a 'happy outcome' no matter what you do.  Somethings in life are inevitable and sad. Those here struggle with some of the same things.  And I know other people IRL struggling with parental health, concerns about their children and other life issues.  I'm one of them also.  You are not alone, even if you have a ton of sh!t going on.

What do you do for you?

It's great to be caregiving to others.  But without a purpose in life for ourselves, we have severe limits on what we can do for others.  A wise man once said, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

And, as hard as the question may be to answer, it is still worthy of thought and contemplation  until an answer is found.  Just because we do not have an answer today does not mean we should stop.  It may take many years to find the answer to the question.  But we should keep actively searching for 'purpose'.

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  • 5 months later...
On 1/2/2020 at 3:23 AM, Zagor said:

This would be probably the first time in my life where I am losing all hope and think that dying is the way out.

- Almost 30 years battleing depression, anxiety, panic, depersonalization and many many many other problems both physical and mental.

- My father is at hospital and after his radiation he was supposed to do surgery but things got worse

-My mother is diabetic and very sick, worries me to death.

-My younger brother has severe mental illness

- My child is having severe anxiety related to school and him being a cancer survivor every time he gets sick from cold or something worry too much.

- I am 40 and I have no point in life. Being on disability and having no friends (and all the stuff above plus much more) makes me a good candidate to end this misery

Why would I live? Just to suffer more and more?

It seems that when you look around you just see problems. It is true that when there is a problem, there is a problem. However you have to power to influence the people going through these issues around you with advice and emotional support. Help them if you can and let them support and help you. You also need to look for advice and explore more options, just remember that you are not the only one that has faced these things. Just like other people have themselves, you can overcome it and go straight through it and have victory.

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