So much to say......

[Rob2020]

Hi, found this forum tonight and spent several hours perusing.  So much in common, so much to relate to......  
 

I have so much to say but have no idea where to start.  Still, cyclical depression all my life - now into middle age. Over the years , I’ve tried pretty much everything going and have seen numerous doctors, therapists and psychiatrists.  Honestly. I don’t think there is a cure out there for me.

i also have anxiety issues , a tendency towards prescription drug and alcohol abuse and my latest psych has proposed a theory that I may have ADD and is now treating me for that.  I worry about death a lot and worry about everybody I’m close to pretty much all the time. On the other hand, I often find comfort in the idea of non existence but couldn’t bear the impact my death would have on those I love.  I Hate my job , despise the world we are creating for ourselves and desperately want climate change to stop.  Frankly, I just feel shit about pretty much everything.including my complex, dark and corrupted mind.

Bit of an opening ramble , I’ll try to post more focused topics in the coming weeks.

[Oscar K]

Welcome new friend to our forum.

We are all here to listen and help each other as best we can.

Personally I like to invoke clever metaphors to strategize solutions to mental problems.

You mentioned a "dark and corrupted mind" metaphor.

I would say you would want to bring light and honesty to counteract the metaphorical darkness and corruption.

I truly believe we can and must play clever tricks right back to Old Man Depression.

Anyway I hope you find a supportive home here.

Feel free to post your concerns.

Oscar  

 

[Epictetus]

Hi Rob,

     I am really sorry that you are suffering !   Cyclical depression can be such a cruel illness.  Those who have never experienced it cannot really understand how brutally it can affect one's whole life.

     Hopefully you will find these Forums to be of some help to you.  Sometimes it helps just to be able to communicate with fellow sufferers going through the same or similar ordeals.  

     I wish I had some profound wisdom to share with you that would enable you to be completely free of your cyclical depression, but unfortunately I am just a fellow sufferer. 

     I do want to thank  you for posting what you did.  It helps me and will help so many people feel less isolated and alone with our own personal anguish and pain.  And that is a healing and life giving gift!  

     Wish I knew what else to say.

- epictetus

[Atra]

Welcome @Rob2020! I'm glad you found us and that you have so much to say. You're contributions are important by providing an outlet for your pain and also modeling for others what it looks like to express and share what's going on inside - which you've done really well in your opening post. 

I'm also diagnosed with depression and anxiety, they are very difficult to live with and I wanted you to know that I relate to a lot of what you wrote. Maybe we can help each other, share some understanding and compassion for what it means to live with mental health conditions. Maybe the positive connections with folks in this support community can balance the negative feelings you mentioned, and provide reasons to believe in something better. 

I'm really sorry you're hurting and I wish for you some relief from your symptoms and I better year ahead. Again, welcome and I'm glad you found there's much here you can relate to. 

[womanofthelight]

Hi, Rob,

So glad you found us and chose to write.  I'm sure you will find many like-minded people here, trying to navigate life with depression. 

I understand that pull to oblivion/death, and the impact it would have on loved ones.  It seems we stay alive, if not for ourselves, for the ones who love us.  It's a conundrum.  

I look forward to hearing what you have to say.  Best to you, always,

WOTL (Woman of thelight)

[nojoy]

Welcome to the forums. Not much I can say about being here that the others have said, Except that here you can express your feelings and thoughts without being judged or ridiculed. 

 

 

[JD4010]

Hey @Rob2020, welcome to DF. You sound like a younger version of me!

Looking forward to continued conversations with you here.

[Prycejosh1987]

I think you should work on changing your mentality, sometimes something will work the second time or the third time. For example everything in life will take persistence in some area for someone. There is always a cure, and something will come to you down the line that will solve the problem. You just have to keep searching and dont be afraid the try something again.