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Almha

Moving to a new country (Anxiety, SI, Vent)

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Hi all,

Just a little overview of what’s happening before I go into details: I’m a Canadian about to get married & move to the USA. It’s been a long journey, and a lot of patience.. but finally the interview is here and I’m absolutely frightened. My memory is god awful (& keeps deteriorating) and no one takes me seriously, I fear I’m going to totally ruin this for both my husband and me (he won’t be there & we don’t have a lawyer). 

 

It doesn’t help at all that the last few months I’ve been having minor health issues that seem to be getting worse, and the doctors have not a clue what’s wrong.. which results in me getting booted out of their office. Close family around me aren’t believing me (docs word is final) and I feel no one’s got my back right now. I’ve been trying head over heels to straighten my life up and get a better outlook, yet time and time again I convince myself “what’s the point”. I’m not skilled at anything, I’m a bloody moron, no unique or attractive features, such a negative personality and absolutely toxic. No goals, nothing.

 

I get so anxious about everything, yet at the same time I just don’t care. Been apart of these forums for a number of years, always coming back and repeating what I’ve said in the past. It’s not getting better, and there’s nothing that can change that. This mindset is miserable and I realize that, but it’s correct.

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Hi Almha,

     I'm so sorry your health issues seem to be getting worse.  That must be so demoralizing.   I hope your move to the USA will be advantageous to you and not add to your misfortunes! 

    It must be difficult to have health problems and not be believed in by doctors and family.  I've experienced a little of that myself.

    Wish I knew what to say to ease your pain and anguish, but I am not a doctor or medical professional.  I'm only a fellow sufferer.

    I've felt so many things you describe in your post.  Holidays always seem to  remind me of these things. 

    I'm grateful that you shared whats going on in your life.  It helps me feel less isolated and alone with my own personal suffering.  Knowing I'm not alone helps me, so I am thankful to you.

   Anyone who helps someone like me must be more than the negative terms you use to describe yourself.

    I sure hope you find something that helps you.  You deserve a good life where you can be free of anxious thoughts and feelings!

- epictetus 

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Don't be so hard on yourself, Almha.  :hugs:  Sometimes depression can filter out any positive that we do or that may be around us. It can take extra effort to teach ourselves to see and acknowledge those positives.  You are doing better than you give yourself credit for.  I wish you luck with your interview - I'm sure you will do great! 

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Thank you both, means a lot to have some support. I need to stop getting so emotionally explosive at everything and have more confidence in myself, the interview was very easy. Seriously appreciate the reassurance, you’re most definitely right 20years.. it does filter out any positive thoughts! 

(That’s very sweet of you btw Epictetus, such a kind soul! Likewise, you deserve to be free of any pain & be surrounded with good feels) 💕

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