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TA's "What's On Your Mind Right Now?" Thread, Part 4


Natasha1

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I was just thinking how the world is constantly changing as nothing stays the same.  We are also changing whether we acknowledge and embrace, reject and ignore it.  Change is inevitable.  One thing is for sure it forces you out of your comfort zone.  So how do I deal with my ever changing world inside my bubble.  One day at a time and let tomorrow take of itself.

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23 hours ago, lindahurt said:

I'm so sorry to hear someone in the family would say something like this.  Hopefully, he didn't mean it and was just joking.

He meant every word of it.  It's how the world is in general anymore really.  They just tell you exactly how they feel.  Nobody cares if they hurt your feelings anymore at all.  I'm alone in the world now.  Nobody cares what happens to me.

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On 11/15/2021 at 6:37 PM, lindahurt said:

Unbelievable.  Getting this out of my system did help a little.

It's a shame that you got the response you did lindahurt.  I had a similar experience.  A guy was asleep on the cement outside a Walmart, with his homeless bundle next to him.  I left a five, and walked on, but he wasn't totally asleep, and waking up called "You can go to hell".  I just waved.  I was only a bit offended for just a moment.  But, I didn't know the guy, just like nobody knows anybody when they give to beggars, homeless. 

I didn't know his story at all.  I don't know why he responded like he did.  He was down and out, that's what I knew.  Anyway, I think when you give to a person on the streets, you do it a little for them, and little for yourself, and hopefully for the health of the universe a little.  I don't always contribute, but I still do sometimes. 

The homeless and needed are so many now, and they include street hustlers, people who need a hand with reality, and people who ran into one too many bad breaks.  Stuff is worse now, all stuff everywhere, so your decision to give at the office is reasonable enough.  Good for you for thinking about it in any respect. 

Bulgakov

 

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On 11/17/2021 at 10:08 PM, sober4life said:

I told dad that I constantly have a feeling that I need to get out of here and he said well we would be better off if you left.

OMG, sorry I missed this. It's the kind of thing my mother would say with a ha ha on the end. No compassion. And if it upsets you then you are too sensitive. How about the fact that they are completely insensitive? 

I'm sorry sober. I have this treatment too. 

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16 hours ago, Bulgakov said:

It's a shame that you got the response you did lindahurt.  I had a similar experience.  A guy was asleep on the cement outside a Walmart, with his homeless bundle next to him.  I left a five, and walked on, but he wasn't totally asleep, and waking up called "You can go to hell".  I just waved.  I was only a bit offended for just a moment.  But, I didn't know the guy, just like nobody knows anybody when they give to beggars, homeless. 

I didn't know his story at all.  I don't know why he responded like he did.  He was down and out, that's what I knew.  Anyway, I think when you give to a person on the streets, you do it a little for them, and little for yourself, and hopefully for the health of the universe a little.  I don't always contribute, but I still do sometimes. 

The homeless and needed are so many now, and they include street hustlers, people who need a hand with reality, and people who ran into one too many bad breaks.  Stuff is worse now, all stuff everywhere, so your decision to give at the office is reasonable enough.  Good for you for thinking about it in any respect. 

Bulgakov

 

Bulgakov,

Thanks for your story and its good to know you can identify with my experience.  It still brothers me to some degree because I was trying to help someone that looked down and out.  

Gosh it seems like you really got a slap in the face.  My heart ❣ goes out to you as well.

lindahurt

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The unknown. I don't know where I will be living once I've sold my house. I don't even know if I can bear to live alone in the near future. But I hope so.

I can only keep moving forward best I can. I've got a good team behind me now to at least get my place sold. That will be a big burden ticked off once its done. I'm sure I will look back at this time and wonder how the hell I kept going. 

It will be sad to let my space go but I think it's the best way forward. I hope I feel relieved. At the very least, if I need to leave mom's ASAP I will be able to and at best I can get another place. 

I need somewhere with actual walls. 

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I hate going to the store and forgetting just one thing.  I would be less angry if I forgot everything.  I would be less angry if I forgot to put on clothes when I went out and didn't realize what I did until I got home just as long as I remembered to get everything.  Just one little thing will make me angry all day.

Edited by sober4life
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3 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I hate going to the store and forgetting just one thing.  I would be less angry if I forgot everything.  I would be less angry if I forgot to put on clothes when I went out and didn't realize what I did until I got home just as long as I remembered to get everything.  Just one little thing will make me angry all day.

Oh no! What did you forget? 

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28 minutes ago, watalife said:

I thought I had a friend and then i realized I didn't. I don't have the time anyway I've got my material possessions, house work and cats to keep me busy. 🙅

I prefer my cat to people.  I know when she wants to be alone & she knows when I want to be alone. And Thai makes no demands as long as I clean the box & provide food & water.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Starting to wonder about my therapist. I guess no one is perfect but she's correcting me when I speak multiple times, telling me how to sit and to breathe etc 😬

Yesterday she told me to drop what I was trying to explain, sit back and close my eyes for a minute. I didn't. I didn't want to. Awks 🤔

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1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

Starting to wonder about my therapist. I guess no one is perfect but she's correcting me when I speak multiple times, telling me how to sit and to breathe etc 😬

Yesterday she told me to drop what I was trying to explain, sit back and close my eyes for a minute. I didn't. I didn't want to. Awks 🤔

Sorry you are having this problem with the therapist.  Do you trust her?  

I hate when the  therapist tells me to take deep breaths. In my head, I'm thinking 'I pay you to listen to me. so shut up & let me talk". Haven't actually said that to her yet but I am getting better at saying what I think. So one day ...she may regret the focus on getting me to stand up for myself.

Take care

Edited by nojoy
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1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

Starting to wonder about my therapist. I guess no one is perfect but she's correcting me when I speak multiple times, telling me how to sit and to breathe etc 😬

Yesterday she told me to drop what I was trying to explain, sit back and close my eyes for a minute. I didn't. I didn't want to. Awks 🤔

Well what do you want?  Do you want to become who you want to be or who she wants you to be?  It's why it never worked for me.  It sounds like she is trying to mold you into what she wants you to be like you're her project.  I'll be honest if it was me I would mess with her.  She wants to be in total control and I would never allow her to be control.  If I wanted to be around someone like her I could just go to dad's house.

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2 hours ago, nojoy said:

I got to stop being so darn nice to family members.  

All people seem to be the same in this world.  There aren't really special titles that mean anything.  I've become the doormat that they say well he'll do it.  I'm the one they take advantage of but they act like they don't understand when I tell them to go to hell.  It's so sick.  They never say I'm going to be a good grandpa or dad or brother of whatever.  No they take advantage of their positions in this life to use and abuse each other.

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On 12/8/2021 at 1:43 PM, nojoy said:

Sorry you are having this problem with the therapist.  Do you trust her?  

I hate when the  therapist tells me to take deep breaths. In my head, I'm thinking 'I pay you to listen to me. so shut up & let me talk". Haven't actually said that to her yet but I am getting better at saying what I think. So one day ...she may regret the focus on getting me to stand up for myself.

Take care

Hmm 🤔 I think I feel she belongs to the privileged class and may potentially look down her nose at me. But it may be my issues with the privileged coming into play. I guess I'm envious and insecure around them. I feel like a gypsy (In fact my ancestors were). 

I'm feeling too polite to argue but I may have to speak up about the commands soon 🤔 We'll see how it goes. Do you find your therapy helpful for the most part? 

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On 12/8/2021 at 1:44 PM, sober4life said:

Well what do you want?  Do you want to become who you want to be or who she wants you to be?  It's why it never worked for me.  It sounds like she is trying to mold you into what she wants you to be like you're her project.  I'll be honest if it was me I would mess with her.  She wants to be in total control and I would never allow her to be control.  If I wanted to be around someone like her I could just go to dad's house.

She's doing her best to help. It feels a bit much sometimes and it's hard for me to trust but I'm open to hearing her opinion. I'd rather an opinion than nothing I think. The suggestions to breathe etc are jarring but not malicious 🤔

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