Jump to content

TA's "What's On Your Mind Right Now?" Thread, Part 4


Natasha1

Recommended Posts

10 hours ago, sober4life said:

I notice people that act interested in me.  At this point my reaction is to scream and run away.

Every time a young 25 year old girl approaches me and asked me for a light I should have run away and screamed, I should ask that this is got to be too good to be true. Then wonder what does a young girl see in an old fat moody musician that smokes weed? Is it the money? Yes sometimes it is the money. But I would like to think it is the mojo. The vibe and energy I give off and the wisdom. Daddy’s girl, you betcha I love ‘em! But sometimes like one time a Daddy’s girl stole my truck. So maybe from now on I should run and scream.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The people in real life since I've been on my own have either been cold and uncaring or pretending to care because they were waiting for a check to clear.  That and people wanting me to give them more money or try to get me to join a cult.  Nobody cares about me whatsoever and they never will.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't understand why these cats are so bored. If they were at a shelter they would be in a small metal cage with a dirty bed. Lol. It's too cold to kick them out so I guess I will have to find a new owner or get rid of one. The lazy girl who eats and sleeps all day. 🙊

Edited by watalife
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am so numb and detached.... I'm not taking any anti depressants......... they didn't seem to help anyway.... I haven't had a Psychiatrist since June because he decided to close his practice and write a book...   I can't find another one or even a counselor to talk with because of "COVID" - that is the 1st excuse everyone says... "well, because of Covid, we can't....."   it's like the best excuse not to do anything or help anyone...  I'm so sick of that.... because life still goes on... things need to be attended to....😢

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, SoulSurvivor said:

I am so numb and detached.... I'm not taking any anti depressants......... they didn't seem to help anyway.... I haven't had a Psychiatrist since June because he decided to close his practice and write a book...   I can't find another one or even a counselor to talk with because of "COVID" - that is the 1st excuse everyone says... "well, because of Covid, we can't....."   it's like the best excuse not to do anything or help anyone...  I'm so sick of that.... because life still goes on... things need to be attended to....😢

I totally agree.  Persevere.  You will find a psychiatrist.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, lindahurt said:

I totally agree.  Persevere.  You will find a psychiatrist.

I have called every single one that my insurance covers... and no one is taking new patients  and their waiting lists are closed....  it's a big problem here- and I would imagine other places too

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, sober4life said:

It's very hard here.  If you say I can't come because of covid people treat you like you're a wimp so at times you feel like you're running into fire so to speak just to keep up appearances.

i used to feel this way, then one day i just decided i'm gonna do what i'm gonna do and i'm not gonna feel bad if someone else don't like it, now life is at least a little simpler

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, iWantRope said:

Well do you have any to recommend?

I'm sorry iWantRope, but no because we live in different areas.  But you can go online and do a search for psychiatrist in your area.  Read their bio and reviews.

 Finding a mental health professional is really a trial and error process.   There has to acceptable rapport and comfortability in the doctor/patient relationship for success to occur. 

Edited by lindahurt
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, SoulSurvivor said:

What are the things that make you happy? 😊

These are a few things that bring me joy and happiness:

It makes me happy when people respect me for simply being myself. 

I'm happy when I have inner peace and joy that comes from God. 

It makes me happy to see others happy and loving themselves and others. 

It makes me happy when people are thoughtful toward one another. 

It makes me happy when there's order in my day and I accomplish my goals set for that day.

Its makes me happy to be independent of other's control. 

It makes me happy to be financially healthy to take care of myself and help others. 

I'm happy when I exercise. 

I'm happy to be alive and living with purpose. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One of those situations that I find myself in occasionally... 😬 I get talking, someone asks me what I do and I lie, lie, lie. I hate it. The truth is just too painful.... Yeah,  not working, no life, no money, no people, got problems....I just lied 😬 Ugh. 

Problem is, the person is hanging out in the same place I have been coming for solace every day,  every day. And if I bump into him with a family member, he's gonna be like... How's work? Or How come you're not in work? 

God. I hate lying. And I hate the shame I carry about my life. Dunno if I'll be able to come here now. That's depressed me. It makes sense to me now why I avoid people. I can't stand the judgement. 

Edited by Nightjar
Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is one of those moments when speaking with my therapist surely would be beneficial at this time.  I'm really brothered by an encounter I had today and its my fault.  While I was running errands and on my way to the mall, I saw a homeless person.  Since I had some cash on me I rolled down my car window on the passenger side a little and gave him $20.  He proceeded to ask me to turn in the opposite direction I was going and take him down the parkway.  Of course I said no because I didn't know him and I don't allow strangers in my vehicle.  His response was that he was an American citizen and he would give me the $20 back to take him down the parkway.  Again, I said no.  I then told him he had more than enough to take the transit bus which would pass by him going in the direction he wanted.  It would have cost him about $2.50 to catch the bus, and the bus stopped was only yards away from him.  

Why do I still find myself brothered by this encounter.  Perhaps, because he seemed so ungrateful and never said thank you.  Maybe its because I wished I would have just keep going and minding my own business.  I even felt like he would have hurt me if I allowed him in my car and that wasn't going to happen.  Why would you give me the $20 back when you can pay $2.50, take transit, and have plenty left to get a good meal.   Your good intentions can cost you your life.  It has happened so many times. 

I guess I have to admit that deep inside my soul, my heart I really regret even stopping.  Lesson learned.  I'll just stick to dealing directly with the Salvation Army for my donations during the holidays.  Doing so will save me some unnecessary heartache.

Unbelievable.  Getting this out of my system did help a little.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Am I too old to put myself up for adoption?  There has to a family that needs a crazy old auntie with a neurotic cat who doesn't mind being hidden away from the public. Just leave a plate of food outside the door for me & my cat.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, sober4life said:

I told dad that I constantly have a feeling that I need to get out of here and he said well we would be better off if you left.

I'm so sorry to hear someone in the family would say something like this.  Hopefully, he didn't mean it and was just joking.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


×
×
  • Create New...