Jump to content

TA's "What's On Your Mind Right Now?" Thread, Part 4


Natasha1

Recommended Posts

I'm thinking about the work I need to do today. I need to find a new audiobook to make the day more enjoyable. I cant help but be jealous of my cat, ive always been jealous of cats, always wished I had been born a cat rather than a human, they have a much easier and better life than we do, if they're lucky enough to have good caring owners that is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The news is evil.  They made it so we don't believe anything we see or hear anymore but none of us want to be alone.  We all have to find a safe place and our "friends" on our favorite station now get to tell us what the truth is.  I'm not sure why I want to be in such an evil world anymore.  I hate my life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lifestyle Expert

Scrolling down a web page of Yahoo, one of those small "ad" windows came up along the side.

It had a pic of a young lady, and the text was offering her services as a "lifestyle expert."

I've heard of financial advisors, mental health counselors and doctors, home decorators, and specialists of all kinds; all there to help you lead a better life.  But a lifestyle expert, I've never heard of exactly.

It gets to the heart of things, as one of the themes of DF is that lots of our social interactions are play acting, pretend.   So a lifestyle expert could tell you how to "appear" to be happy and successful.  Just gets  right to the point.   I want one.

Bulgakov 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wonder if the Chinese government knows what they're getting themselves into?  I mean, mandating country wide that anyone under 18 will play no more than two hours--maybe three, but I think two--of video games a week, and no play between Monday and Thursday.  That's no way to attract youth to the communist philosophy.

Apparently, kids of China have as big an appetite for video games as Americans, or bigger.  I see an underground video game culture coming.  These youngsters are used to being heroes, to belonging to elite attack squads.   The government wants them to be good communists to lay down their controllers.   Could be where the next revolution starts.  Interesting to watch.

Bulgakov

 

Edited by Bulgakov
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Bulgakov said:

I wonder if the Chinese government knows what they're getting themselves into?  I mean, mandating country wide that anyone under 18 will play no more than two hours--maybe three, but I think two--of video games a week, and no play between Monday and Thursday.  That's no way to attract youth to the communist philosophy.

Yep, that's pretty harsh. Some people play 12 hours a day or more. That's China's 996 system -- i.e., 9am to 9pm 6 days a week, except it would be more like 997 for games.

I prefer the banker's version: 363. That is, accept deposits at 3%, lend out at 6%, and be on the golf course by 3pm.
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Every day it feels like I'm a passenger on a sinking ship I never asked to be on.  It seems like the entire world is run by the bullies that we all thought were awful in high school.  Those types of people are in charge of everything and we're along for the ride whether we want to be or not.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wonder if I'll ever stop causing myself pain with bad habits.  Will I ever learn to accept myself?  Will I ever stop criticizing myself?  Will I ever stop the habitual fear?  I'm far too old for this.  I've been in and out of therapy for years.  I figure if I don't know which way is up by now, I'll never know.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, womanofthelight said:

I wonder if I'll ever stop causing myself pain with bad habits.  Will I ever learn to accept myself?  Will I ever stop criticizing myself?  Will I ever stop the habitual fear?  I'm far too old for this.  I've been in and out of therapy for years.  I figure if I don't know which way is up by now, I'll never know.

I know how you feel.  I feel the same way.  All the habits I've ever had I would tell myself this is to feel better but I always knew it was meant more as self sabotage.  Have I ever felt better afterward?  It's a cycle for me sure I would love to feel better but sadly I would like to finish myself off more.  I've never wanted to be here and nothing has ever made it so I did want to be here.  I'm a lost soul and a lost cause.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, sober4life said:

I've never wanted to be here and nothing has ever made it so I did want to be here.  I'm a lost soul and a lost cause.

Even as a child? I remember thinking that I had some purpose and the future was wide open, with not knowing what's coming a part of the fun. Sadly, reality has dealt a harsh blow to this naive notion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

38 minutes ago, anon22ae said:

Even as a child? I remember thinking that I had some purpose and the future was wide open, with not knowing what's coming a part of the fun. Sadly, reality has dealt a harsh blow to this naive notion.

I know it makes me sound like I was bitter even as a child.  No not really.  I just knew I never fit in at all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 hours ago, sober4life said:

I know how you feel.  I feel the same way.  All the habits I've ever had I would tell myself this is to feel better but I always knew it was meant more as self sabotage.  Have I ever felt better afterward?  It's a cycle for me sure I would love to feel better but sadly I would like to finish myself off more.  I've never wanted to be here and nothing has ever made it so I did want to be here.  I'm a lost soul and a lost cause.

:console:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 hours ago, womanofthelight said:

I wonder if I'll ever stop causing myself pain with bad habits.  Will I ever learn to accept myself?  Will I ever stop criticizing myself?  Will I ever stop the habitual fear?  I'm far too old for this.  I've been in and out of therapy for years.  I figure if I don't know which way is up by now, I'll never know.

 

17 hours ago, sober4life said:

I know how you feel. I feel the same way. All the habits I've ever had I would tell myself this is to feel better but I always knew it was meant more as self sabotage.  Have I ever felt better afterward?  It's a cycle for me sure I would love to feel better but sadly I would like to finish myself off more.  I've never wanted to be here and nothing has ever made it so I did want to be here.  I'm a lost soul and a lost cause.

I wonder the same things and know how you both feel. Ive developed some self-sabotaging habits that work as a comfort and safety for me in the moment but make me feel worse afterwards. The cycle continues. I developed these habits in highschool and then throughout the twenties, maybe if we had been given a better mental health education in school we wouldnt feel like such disabled adults 😞

Im in such a negative way of thinking, apperantly I need to unlearn it all and relearn a more positive way of thinking... I will try again. or the enivetiable will be the only option. My resilence thats gotten me this far is waivering, so one more big push to change. One more, theres things I want to achieve in my career, and ive still got my dear old poppy so I cant go while shes still alive. So one more push it is.

But how does one unlearn and then relearn their way of thinking? How can I change my bad habits? I have panic attacks if I cant use one behaviour...ive a lot to work on. Hopefully I can do it. One last push. Hopefully if it turns out like I want then that will continues to motivate me to keep pushing. One last push 🤞🤞

That went a bit dark.. but was what was on my mind rn 😬

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 9/3/2021 at 11:10 PM, anon22ae said:

Sometimes you find torn-off fingernails in nooses used for suicides, apparently indicating a futile final attempt by the victim to save their own life. Does it really all become clear with one second left to live?

I dont know, I dont buy into that, sure maybe people do really regret it at the last second, but i think youre really really sure if youve made your plan and said your goodbyes, if your having doubts then thats what you should stop and turn around and go back. Obviously its not as easy and simple as that because emotions and adrenaline come in, it never is. Finding finger nails in nooses would be pretty airy... that wouldnt be my choice to do it

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Watching a report on the current human crisis in Ethiopia.  Ethiopian soldiers in a civil war are ki##ing civilians, rap### women.  The turmoil has disrupted supply lines and currently 350,000 are facing starvation.  A reporter interviewing  an Ethiopian official, after hearing of atrocities, asked:  "What can the average American do to help the people of Ethiopia?" 

That's always the kicker in this age of global  awareness.  We're--most of us-- wired to feel sympathy, maybe empathize a little if possible.  With every news making heart breaker you feel a little bad again, but nothing you can do about it.  The spokesperson said we can write or email to our congress person, emphasizing the dire need in Ethiopia. 

While you're at it, you can mention the ban on owning oxygen in Myanmar--ex "Burma".  Myanmar has a growing Covid mess.  But they don't really have an infrastructure with regards to finding, making, or distributing vaccines.  People are stuck at the "trying to breath"  stage of covid, to the point the government has outlawed private oxygen ownership.  Black market prices for oxygen cylinders is crazy. 

You can expand the list of human-caused inhumane conditions around the world at your leisure.  We have increased global awareness almost over night.  But our evolution as a race--there can be only one--has not included an evolution in how we think of ourselves beyond neighbors and tribes.  We can only send Ethiopia, Myannmar,  and the Uighurs hugs.

Bulgakov

 

 

Edited by Bulgakov
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 8/30/2021 at 12:50 PM, sober4life said:

It's been a while since anyone did the pretending to stock shelves while actually watching me because they thought I was going to steal thing.  They won't get one more dollar from me!

Wait what ? 😄

Link to comment
Share on other sites


×
×
  • Create New...