Jump to content

TA's "What's On Your Mind Right Now?" Thread, Part 4


Natasha1

Recommended Posts

3 hours ago, Tymothi said:

It felt really good to hear my therapist say she's convinced I'm doing the work. Why did that give me so much unexpected satisfaction?

I don't know. Any acknowledgment of the work I've done the past 2 years gives me a measure of satisfaction. We don't receive diplomas, medals, money or make the news for getting some recovery from mental illnesses. We do it for ourselves, and yet it feels nice to be seen. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My elderly mom mentioned how depressed she is and said it may be time to make an appointment with the psychiatrist, adjust her dose of wellbutrin. I encouraged her to return to therapy and she asked what good would that do.

I didn't quite strike the gentle note I intended to with my overly rushed reply...so that you won't spend hours unburdening yourself of depression to your sons, to family members calling to check in with you. That's something you do with your therapist. 

And that shut down the conversation. Dammit. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 minutes ago, Atra said:

My elderly mom mentioned how depressed she is and said it may be time to make an appointment with the psychiatrist, adjust her dose of wellbutrin. I encouraged her to return to therapy and she asked what good would that do.

I didn't quite strike the gentle note I intended to with my overly rushed reply...so that you won't spend hours unburdening yourself of depression to your sons, to family members calling to check in with you. That's something you do with your therapist. 

And that shut down the conversation. Dammit. 

Ah, don't be so hard on yourself. It's understandable that you feel angry for being put upon. We can't expect to be zen 24/7. Stuff just kinda slips out sometimes no? 

Yes, you could have handled it better, but this experience is still a learning experience and might lead to a better response next time? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have to mow the yard today because I'm getting two trees taken down tomorrow.  The tree tomorrow could hit the house if we don't do it right.  That's always fun.  First thing in the morning drinkers with chainsaws to the rescue!

Edited by sober4life
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Atra said:

I encouraged her to return to therapy and she asked what good would that do.

That reaction may have less to do with you and more to do with her.  I would not be surprised if she said that in a kinda sharp tone of voice.  But is possibly something she has already been asking herself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 hours ago, Atra said:

I don't know. Any acknowledgment of the work I've done the past 2 years gives me a measure of satisfaction. We don't receive diplomas, medals, money or make the news for getting some recovery from mental illnesses. We do it for ourselves, and yet it feels nice to be seen. 

I think that's it, exactly. It's such an isolating experience, fighting a silent war that never ends....

 

What's on my mind is where he ended up - the tiny baby frog I saw on the driveway earlier in the rain. How did something so small end up on his own? I hope he made it to where he was going.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I noticed something about myself that I am trying to understand.  Sometimes a thought that pops into my head or some little thing that happens (positive or negative) has a big effect on my mood or feelings.  Other times, the random thought or small event does not seem to have any effect at all.  I am referring to small things -- noticing some pretty flowers; someone holding a door open for me.  Or the opposite -- noticing a patch of weeds with some litter; someone hurrying through a door right in front of me and letting it close.

When I am actively trying to be positive and productive, I will look for little, positive items to encourage myself; and consciously try to 'brush off' the negative items.  Other times a thought or item will just 'happen'.

What I am wondering about is not my reaction to the thought or event.  I wonder about why sometimes the effect is so large and other times so small.  For example, sometimes a person holding a door open for me just makes my day!  My mood lifts, the day seems brighter, and I find myself thinking what a kind person he/she must be; and that feeling can last for hours.  Other times, if someone holds a door open for me, I barely notice and just go on in the same good or bad mood I was in before.

 I know I am making a big deal out of this, but it puzzles me.  I do not expect a 'magic' explanation from anyone.  It is just, if I understood this, could I use it to get out of this 'slump' I am in right now?  From reading the posts on this site, it seems like this type of thing has happened to other people, too.    

Thanks for listening/reading.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 7/30/2020 at 8:51 AM, jkd_sd said:

 

What I am wondering about is not my reaction to the thought or event.  I wonder about why sometimes the effect is so large and other times so small.  For example, sometimes a person holding a door open for me just makes my day!  My mood lifts, the day seems brighter, and I find myself thinking what a kind person he/she must be; and that feeling can last for hours.  Other times, if someone holds a door open for me, I barely notice and just go on in the same good or bad mood I was in before.

 

I think I get this. I don't have a magic answer, but it sounds familiar. I credit it with my unconscious mind. Something inside is looking for an influence, so sooner or later it's going to find it and let me know. My active mind is way too much of a freight train to be influenced by anything, so it comes from somewhere deeper.

 

What's on my mind is whether or not there's any way to make my knees hurt less. I could get so much exercise if they just didn't hurt.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 7/30/2020 at 6:51 AM, jkd_sd said:

 I wonder about why sometimes the effect is so large and other times so small.

That is puzzling. When the event has a noticeable effect on my mood, I experience it in a sort of thats just what I needed! way. I kinda wanna understand this mystery so that I can control it (to use it with intention). But then again on the other hand, that control could erase many of the surprises in my life. I don't know if I can take more boredom. 

 

I have to be out of the house tomorrow afternoon while it's being cleaned, for a few hours. I'll certainly do some walking. What would be a nice thing to do for me? Should I bring my lunch to the park or sit in an outdoor restaurant? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 minutes ago, Atra said:

I have to be out of the house tomorrow afternoon while it's being cleaned, for a few hours. I'll certainly do some walking. What would be a nice thing to do for me? Should I bring my lunch to the park or sit in an outdoor restaurant? 

Maybe restaurant for more social interaction? I think we could all do with some more of that 😳

Future me would like a cleaner when she is working full time. Also cat sitter while she is working all day. Have you always had a cleaner? Do you simply do dishes and laundry? (she says thinking dishes and laundry are quite enough for me to be getting along with thank-you very much). 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I will be away from this site for a couple days.  Do not have time to explain, but it is planned, not an emergency.  Am struggling to keep progressing but seem to be holding my own.  I have lots of random thoughts swirling around in my mind.  I need to get focused or at least paste my 'coping with the world' expression on my face.   I will be back.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Maybe restaurant for more social interaction? I think we could all do with some more of that 😳

Future me would like a cleaner when she is working full time. Also cat sitter while she is working all day. Have you always had a cleaner? Do you simply do dishes and laundry? (she says thinking dishes and laundry are quite enough for me to be getting along with thank-you very much). 

I didn't know there was a such thing as a cat sitter.  The reason I had a 25 pound cat was because mom and I went on vacation and bought an automatic feeder for the cat and once we got back we just kept using it.  I think the feeder held a whole bag of cat food.🐈

Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Have you always had a cleaner? Do you simply do dishes and laundry?

I arrange to have my place cleaned once each month, it's a gift to myself. They do floors, bathroom, kitchen appliances, bedroom and all surfaces to professional standards. I do cleaning the the weeks between and I hand wash my dishes and do laundry at the laundromat. 

Thanks for the suggestion of where to go while my place was being cleaned, I had a lovely day. 

I'm friends with a professional cat sitter, it's her livelihood and she's certified by the city. Feeds them then playtime, gives meds. Sometimes she'll stay overnight if kitty's parents are away. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Saturday afternoon, I hurriedly worked on a project due Monday. I was rather pleased with it. I emailed a draft to two leaders in my organization, asked for their opinions and any changes. Those opinions were given--at high volume--into my ears. 

The first recipient phoned Saturday night to yell at me for my audacity and betrayal, insisting on a complete rewrite (which we did) then sent it out. The second recipient phoned to yell at me today for my audacity and betrayal having not used the original draft I'd written.

I cycled through many emotions over this but right now, I'm feeling weirdly peaceful. Like, I should be furious and feel abused, right? That wasn't the case here. I knew they were angry at each other, not me. I pointed this out, warned them that displaced anger will poison those around them. They'll have an opportunity to yell at each other tomorrow, if they're brave. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@sober4life - Kanye West, what a joke. That arrogant idiot will just mess up the election, along with any other idiots that think there is any chance they can win. This is Trump vs Biden and any noise from people like KW will just distract votes from Biden. And Biden needs all the help he can get...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, In2deep4me said:

@sober4life - Kanye West, what a joke. That arrogant idiot will just mess up the election, along with any other idiots that think there is any chance they can win. This is Trump vs Biden and any noise from people like KW will just distract votes from Biden. And Biden needs all the help he can get...

I agree with everything you said.  I think what will happen is a lot people will go to the election saying I don't want to vote for Trump or Biden so why not.  Is it the right choice?  Of course not but many people think there are no real choices anyway.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 hours ago, violeteyes said:

I would vote for The Rock.

Or even a rock, given the alternatives.

And yet it's not surprising: I remember someone long ago commenting that anyone wanting to be POTUS must be crazy. I mean, who in his right mind could possibly consider themselves wise and smart enough to rule the most powerful country in the world?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was talking about my friend that died from the virus and the other person told me how awful she looked in her picture in the newspaper.  Those are the typical responses you get when someone you care about passes away.  It used to be people pretended to care.  Sorry for your loss but now people don't pretend unless they're making money somehow from the situation.  Then you're king for that day but tomorrow they'll act like they don't know you like everyone else.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 hours ago, violeteyes said:

I would vote for The Rock.

I was reading some of his quotes yesterday and he seems a pretty down to earth, hard working, well grounded guy. Might well make a decent president if he ever got the chance 

Edited by hocico
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, hocico said:

I was reading some of his quotes yesterday and he seems a pretty down to earth, hard working, well grounded guy. Might well make a decent president if he ever got the chance 

Sure I agree.  He's someone we actually know about too.  Most of the time the people you vote for every time is someone that's been in politics forever and they feed you a line of bull their whole campaign we know they're not going to do any of but we vote for them because they are from a certain party.  These are good choices because why because we're told they are?  

Edited by sober4life
Link to comment
Share on other sites


×
×
  • Create New...