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TA's "What's On Your Mind Right Now?" Thread, Part 4


Natasha1

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On 7/1/2020 at 10:24 AM, In2deep4me said:

... one of my kids is a mess and I truly believe they inherited it from me. This makes me hurt and brings me to my knees just thinking about it.

Do not beat yourself up over this.  First, you did not do anything on purpose to bring this on your child.  Second, I firmly believe what is inherited is the predisposition, not a definite certainty.  Remember, you did not ask for this little 'gift' to be passed on to you either.

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44 minutes ago, Bulgakov said:

Is that to honor Flavor Flave?

It's for Guy Fieri.  If it was for Flavor Flave I would be fine with it.😃Do I believe it will happen?  Well they took down the Columbus statue but the people here already don't like the governor.  There's no way in this world he's going to be the governor that has a legacy of renaming the capital Flavortown.  Most of Ohio is made of a bunch of Mayberry type towns.  They will never put up with something like this.  We might rename it but it won't be Flavortown.

Edited by sober4life
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I think about cops right now with what's going on in this world.  I was at the supermarket today.  2 people who knew each other were arguing in line.  The one person left and the argument was over.  It wasn't over.  There was a drunk guy in line who thought the one guy was yelling at him.  Of course he wasn't but these two started arguing and these two fought in the parking lot.  These are the types of things they have to deal with every day.  Two people that just met fighting each other for no reason whatsoever.

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I have a few days of personal commitments that involve travel and other high-attention 'stuff'.  So, I will not be on here much for a few days.  I wonder how I will be doing at the end of this trip.  There has been some improvement but also a little more anxiety lately.  I really wish there was a way to know how all this crap is going to turn out.  I think I could endure whatever I need to.  It is the uncertainty that is starting to really bother me.

This also leads me to wonder about some of the previously regular posters to this site who have been absent lately.  I very much hope they are not posting because they are too busy living wonderful, depression-free lives.  I choose to believe that until it is proven to me otherwise.   <*sigh*>  Well, onward!

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The song bird keeps singing it's best songs at the top of the tree hoping another bird will come by.  It won't be long until the other bird shows up and eats all the food, complains about the nest and says wow how long has it been since you've gotten a bath in the bird bath?

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@jkd_sd - Safe travels. Remember to spend less time dwelling on those things you can't control. A lot of people are feeling increased stress and anxiety due to this crap. Unfortunately there is no real prediction of how and when it ends. We'll move on after as always. The world will change some because of this. Hopefully we see some positive change in direction from people after. There are a number of things we can control and I'm being reminded often to focus on that. It does help. Good luck.

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On 7/6/2020 at 11:12 PM, jkd_sd said:

I have a few days of personal commitments that involve travel and other high-attention 'stuff'.  So, I will not be on here much for a few days.  I wonder how I will be doing at the end of this trip.  There has been some improvement but also a little more anxiety lately.  I really wish there was a way to know how all this crap is going to turn out.  I think I could endure whatever I need to.  It is the uncertainty that is starting to really bother me.

This also leads me to wonder about some of the previously regular posters to this site who have been absent lately.  I very much hope they are not posting because they are too busy living wonderful, depression-free lives.  I choose to believe that until it is proven to me otherwise.   <*sigh*>  Well, onward!

I hope things went well.:hugs:

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37 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I hope things went well.:hugs:

Thanks!  I just got back a short while ago.  Still sorting out and catching up.  

On 7/7/2020 at 10:47 AM, In2deep4me said:

A lot of people are feeling increased stress and anxiety due to this crap.

True.  I should have been clearer.  Yes, I was referring to Covid19 and all the changes in the world, but I was also referring to some of the specific situations in my life.  It is strange, but the personal 'stuff' is so 'in my face' that the 'stuff' going on in the world does not seem quite as important or scary as it would otherwise.  Somehow that feels wrong and narcissistic.  Oh well.  This secondary worry is so far down on my list I will probably never get to it.   🙄

Oh yeah, the trip etc. went mostly well.  Gotta get back to catching up.

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8 hours ago, jkd_sd said:

Oh yeah, the trip etc. went mostly well.  Gotta get back to catching up.

:yay:yay!

After you settle in I hope you'll share a little about your adventures!

It's a big, marvelous, scary world outside my shelter...

Probably. 🤷‍♂️

I wouldn't know.  

Living vicariously through you feels safe, though! 😊

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14 hours ago, jkd_sd said:

It is strange, but the personal 'stuff' is so 'in my face' that the 'stuff' going on in the world does not seem quite as important or scary as it would otherwise.  Somehow that feels wrong and narcissistic.  Oh well.

I don't agree. You, and the rest of us, have personal, family, work, and other issues to deal with. And this Covid problem. Can't focus all our time on the latter. The former is important and we have some control over that. We have little control over the latter.

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The way we all get through the pandemic is by making sure we get through it and the people we care about get through it.  Nobody can mentally survive endlessly focusing on the virus itself.

Edited by sober4life
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On 7/10/2020 at 5:02 AM, Atra said:

After you settle in I hope you'll share a little about your adventures!

Well, you will need to wait a while longer, because the 'adventure' is continuing.  This is not leisure travel; it is medical appointment travel.  And, round two starts tomorrow.  Both my parents are having health issues at the moment.  Neither are life-threatening, but they do need to be dealt with.  I am chauffeuring and trying to make sure everything is taken care of.  My parents are 'elderly' (seems strange to say), so I really wish they did not have to travel to appointments during this virus.

I will be mostly away from this site for the next few days again.  I am so looking forward to 'boring'!   Take care everyone.

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I think about the birds that left the nest above my door.  When they left that nest they were on their own.  Who knows what happened to them.  They had to create a life for themselves alone.  It's hard as a person because it's really the same for us too but we live our lives with an illusion of more.  Friends family they're all there for the good times but when the party is over they're gone.  When times are tough good luck trying to find anyone.  Cash your pay check though and all the friends come back.  Maybe I would have been better off knowing I was alone all along then having to deal with this my whole life.  The illusion that people care is worse than knowing they don't care.

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3 hours ago, sober4life said:

  The illusion that people care is worse than knowing they don't care.

Right? At least if they were just honest about it and said "You know what? Call me if you're taking responsibility for my happiness, otherwise don't bother me" you might still be able to trust someone again somewhere, at some point.

 

What's on my mind is how much I hate myself every time I slip and start chewing my fingers into bloody frayed talons again. They don't even heal like they did when I was young, so I have even more time than usual to see the damage and continue hating myself.

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