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June322

What this website did to my mental Health 3 years a go ..

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I've been wanting to write about this for a while. This year has been my least active on here. Now that we are almost entering into a new year I wanted to write for the people that have been on here for years and others that are just singing up because I think it'll be helpful and put some stuff into perspective.

3 years a go I had a complete mental breakdown. I've had depression and anxiety for most of my life due to childhood traumas that I suffered. That said i learned to just deal with it. However 3 years a go I was hitting a low and one night I went out with friends and had a horrible drug reaction. That night really changed me for the worst. I had the worst panic attacks of my life and ended up in the hospital 3 times in the span of a week. After that incident I was not myself. I started to be in a constant state of dissociation. It was difficult for me to feel connected to reality and it was terrifying. I completely lost sense of who I was as a person. My love ones didn't know what to do with me anymore. I was not myself. I barely felt human. I remember my mom taking me to the store to get some tea and the lady there told her it seemed I was having a psychosis episode. I felt so Alone. I couldn't leave my house or be around others because I would all of a sudden just have these episodes. I remember just wanting to feel Human. I contemplated suicide and even wrote my love ones letters and thought about how I could take my life the painless way possible.

Then one day i was googlin how I was feeling and searching for people that were going through the same thing I was. That's when I found this website. I immediately started to read other peoples stories and wrote about my own and I felt a sense of belonging. This website helped me feel grounded. In a sense You guys. Yes you reading this and this website save my life. I was drowning in my chaotic mind so when I found this website and started to see others go through the same thing it made me start to feel normal again.

I guess the point of me writing this is because Ive been on this website for a while now and I've seen people come and go and seen how this website can help some people and other times people get frustrated saying whats the point because they sometimes expect to come here and get cured like therapy. But I dont see this as a place to solve all my problems. I see it as a place to connect with others and be reminded of how many people that we dont know about suffer in silence and we all just wanna feel ok and connected. Im happy to have found this website. A lot of people on here really helped me. Sad to see not everyone still logs on but yeah I just wanted to share my experience and Say thank you and I hope that I can help others on here the way some people have helped me. Truly wish you all peace ! I hope we all have more good days then bad and feel free to add to this thread with your own stories or whatever you're feeling! 

 

 

 

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I’m so happy to read that you found this place when in need. I’m so grateful it is here for an array of people from every age and every walk of life. And even for those not suffering that have a true passion to help and understand their loved ones.

I can’t imagine how many times this place of commiserations has saved someone. I haven’t met anyone on here that hasn’t readily held out their hand to me despite their own drowning. It shows the kind of selfless beauty I hope to see in the rest of the world and a glimmer of hope. Having everyone that understands or at least tries to with sincerity is so foreign these days, but not on this forum. 

You all don’t make me feel bad for my thoughts, or guilty for my shortcomings. I love that everyone here can come together and celebrate the small victories that others might not understand is so incredibly arduous. This place has saved me time and time again from my own despair and mental anguish and with it being the only place I can openly express myself, it will continue to be my place of refuge.

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