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SailingSoul

Very annoying. Mom enables my brother too much

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Im just reaching a boiling point. Im 39 weeks pregnant and I feel I do more than my brother. He has no job, license, just eats everything. 

So i basically pick up and drop everyone off at work. Dropped my bro off at midnight. Picked my mom up at 6a. Walked the dogs...then took my little bro to school...all while my middle bro slept on the couch. 

I asked him to clean the kitchen all yesterday and he didnt do it. Roll over to today..asked him to clean before he left to help my granmda move...ofc it didnt get done.( honestly he was supposed to go yesterday but he didnt because he just slept all day smh) I tell my mom and she bitches saying you dont clean..and it has to be done regardless. 

 

All this does is enable my damn brother bc someone is always gonna clean up my brother's messes and do for him what should be done. But let it be me thats just laying around she would threaten me and scream her head off.. 

 

Im close to resenting my mom honestly. 

 

Im trying my hardest not to scream at her. 

 

Another thing. My mom knows im abt to have a small child soon. So were swapping with the car.. Im taking over the car note and shes doing the insurance.. Car note is 558. Insurance is 250. The note is too much... Plus me paying my granmda childcare 400 a month.. Ill only save 600ish and then i have to count misc. Items me and my son will need. 

 

I just dont feel like any of this is fair. Im trying to get out of this situation with my sanity in tact but i feel i almost have to die to get out of this Bullshxt situation. So annoying!

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I’m sorry you’re having a rough time financially and then have the added inequality your other family members receive, specifically your middle brother. And to top it off, being that far along and doing ANYTHING feels like a marathon! I don’t know the dynamics of you and your mom’s relationship but she could be just venting to you/on you. It seems we sometimes mistreat the ones we love most because we know that person won’t abandon us. Not saying that is what it is, just maybe an idea. That also is no justification.

 

As for the cost of the car, I am assuming that the vehicle is communal? If so, it seems there should be a more equal agreement. If it isn’t a communally agreed cost, than is there anything stopping you from trading it in for a car at a cheaper monthly cost? Wishing you the best of luck. Hopefully things get smoother soon.

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It doesn't seem fair to me what you are going through, SailingSoul.  You've been through so much already.  I would feel the same as you if I was in your place.  Seems like such an unhappy situation all around.  Wish I knew how to help.    - epictetus

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Sorry you are going through all that. Be careful with resentments as they can eat away at you from the inside. The best you can do, since you can't control other people, is to set the boundaries that you need. They most likely won't like it yet it will pay off in the long run. 

BW

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