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Z Diggity Dog

Getting ignored by coworkers

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Not sure this is the right place to post this but I feel like my form of mental illness involves me getting upset with people. I'm diagnosed with clinical depression and am taking medication. These days I don't usually get sad but I do get upset with people a lot. 

The situation that is is causing me upset is that I have a couple of coworkers that tend to ignore me. I've been going to my manager about it because I don't know what else to do. I have a feeling that going to my manager is making me be seen as a "taddling" on them but I don't know how else to get the job done. I think my manager thinks I'm trying to stir up trouble. Any advice? 

I don't really want to go to these coworkers and talk about how I feel like I'm being ignored because I basically did that before and was accused of being confrontational. Plus the fact that I don't really like them at this point. But I have to get their help on things in order to get my job done. 

Any advice? 

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That sounds like a difficult position to be in.

5 hours ago, Z Diggity Dog said:

These days I don't usually get sad but I do get upset with people a lot. 

The situation that is is causing me upset is that I have a couple of coworkers that tend to ignore me.

The sermon this week at my church was about anger being ok. One thing that it brought up in my mind is that it is important to pay attention to anger, because it is often pointing to some other feeling that you are not paying attention to. It could be that your anger at these people is pointing toward a feeling of being left out and disregarded. I can totally understand that feeling. I am sometimes angry at my co-workers for a similar reason that you are - I cannot do my job correctly unless I get something from them or they do something. It seems that something else is always more important, but when there is not money to pay for things that they need, because I was not able to get the money because I needed something from them first - I feel as though they think that it is my fault. I wish that I could give you an easy solution. 

The best thing that I have found is to try not to be afraid of being confrontational. As long as you are careful not to blame - but rather to express your frusteration at not being able to do your job as well as you could without their input - confrontation is not a bad thing. That way - if there is something that needed to get done and was not done because you were missing something - you can say that you tried to resolve the situation with the co-workers and were unsuccessful.

I'll give you a concrete example from my own world. One of the things that I am responsible for is filing paperwork to get project costs reimbursed from a grant. All of the dollars from a specific project need to be spent before any cash can be received. We currently have 5 of these projects ongoing to the tune of $20K each. I have expressed (multiple times) the importance of getting one project done in a short time frame, getting the money reimbursed and then kicking off the next project. I am often rebuffed, because of other considerations. However, when they complain that I cannot come up with $5K to pay some bill - I say, "Look, I told you that there was a way these projects were going to work well. You choose not to listen. That is why I do not have the cash to pay that plumber, electrician, roofer, etc."

One of my co-workers recently said something that might help. In a situation like yours, go to your boss with facts - not with feelings. So, instead of saying, "I am feeling ignored." Say, "I was not able to complete X, because I requested Y from co-worker Z on date1, date2 and date3 and I still have not gotten Y." Maybe make your requests in the form of e-mail, instead of verbally - since then you will have a paper trail. Expressing that you are not getting what you need from co-workers is not taddling imo. It is trying to do your best job.

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