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CoffeeAddict103

Scared. Can I be completely honest? Potentially triggering

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Know one knows about my homosexuality and to be honest I don't care, most people could care less, for me it is the least interesting aspect of any person I have met. 

I have had a sexual relationship with one man about 5 years ago, before then it was all females and the last sexual contact I had was a female. 

I dont want to offend anyone and excuse me if I am being ignorant because I am in a lot of these areas. I have a few things troubling me. One is anxious and reluctant to have sexual contact with men even though I desire it strongly. I am scared of getting STDs and scared of HIV, I know its not a death sentence anymore. 

I also don't know anyone who is gay, I have 2 straight friends and that's about it. The gay 'culture' seems and obviously everyone is different, to be a highly permiscuous, and very sexulised. This freaks me out a little bit, I want to know how I should get over these fears. Obviously everyone is different. 

Another thing I have observed with the new lgbt gay rights stuff is a lot of corporations are using this to their advantage, along with it being highly politicalised especially here in UK. I walked through a pride parade not on purpose but I was out in London a while back, and honestly the way some people were acting I thought it was vile. Again this isn't an attack in anyway, just an observation. The plus side though, was actually, you know what its quite nice that gay people can be openly gay in the streets of London, when a few decades ago probably wouldn't have happened and 50 years ago would have been imprisoned. 

I just think that the culture of labels and virtue snigalling and being obsessed with identity could back fire. I think sometimes a lot of the actions from the so called gay lobby could be counter productive to gay people. 

I would love to find someone one day. I guess I need to get out of this bubble I am in, a small town 12 miles from London, with no social life. 

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Just now, CoffeeAddict103 said:

I just think that the culture of labels and virtue snigalling and being obsessed with identity could back fire. I think sometimes a lot of the actions from the so called gay lobby could be counter productive to gay people. 

I would love to find someone one day. I guess I need to get out of this bubble I am in, a small town 12 miles from London, with no social life. 

"Obviously everyone is different."  Yes, lol, I agree.  The labels have become counter productive.  It's getting down to "That Tom Jones is such a . . . 'Tom Jones'".

best,  Bulgakov 

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I could never be like the stereotypes they show on tv.  I couldn't and to be honest I'm scared people might think I am that way.  I am proud of who I am but it's all too much for me to handle.  I'll be honest.  For the most part I'm pretty shy and I couldn't handle the lifestyle they try to sell on tv for longer than a couple of days.

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The thoughts you're describing are more common among gay people than you might think. 

I agree completely that the pride movement and the media is pushing a stereotype of gay people that's over-sexualised. I don't associate with it at all, and very few of the gay people I know do. 

I hope you've been doing okay since your post!

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