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On 1/19/2021 at 12:08 PM, Nightjar said:

Well, it's not what I've done but what I've gotta do today, today 😂

All in prep for valuation...have to... 

1. Scrub bath

2. Scrub bathroom sink

3. Wipe over bathroom floor. 

4. Make up single bed in show home style with all the whistles and bells. 

4. Put some mismatched cushions and cat things away. 

5. Clean window in small bedroom

5. Clean large mirror in small bedroom. 

6. Clean bathroom mirror. 

7. Scrub kitchen sink until it gleams and can be seen from the space station 🤔

8. Take carrier bags for recycling. 

9. Buy coke (cola) and choc for energy boost. 

...

😀 ...coke?!😄

 

Edited by Mikayla

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1 hour ago, Mikayla said:

They will cheer you up for sure🙂, my hamster always cheers me up:). I'm not sure, if you also have your own pet or not.

I love animals.  I don't have a pet yet.  It's getting close though.  I need to believe I can give that animal a good life.  I'm almost there.  I see next month as pet month.🐕

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16 hours ago, Atra said:

This is a new and different way for me. It has been my custom to fight to the bitter end when I feel I've been wronged or when an injustice to others isn't challenged.

Sounds like a good new way to try Atra.  Better maybe to pick your battles, as opposed to the opposite.  I know you believe change happens, that doing something is better than settling for nothing.  Me too, so yeah, keep the faith. 

Bulgakov

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15 hours ago, Bulgakov said:

Sounds like a good new way to try Atra.  Better maybe to pick your battles, as opposed to the opposite.  I know you believe change happens, that doing something is better than settling for nothing.  Me too, so yeah, keep the faith. 

Bulgakov

Thanks friend. I do believe change happens. Walking away from a job, a volunteer organization, a community or relationship--always a hard decision for me, as I value community and relationships quite a lot.

This farewell is particularly painful because while I value transparency and authenticity (and I don't avoid conflict), if I disclose why I'm leaving the community it will cause divisions and drama. Consequently I'm forgoing goodbyes. 

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22 hours ago, sober4life said:

I love animals.  I don't have a pet yet.  It's getting close though.  I need to believe I can give that animal a good life.  I'm almost there.  I see next month as pet month.🐕

🙂That's perfect. 

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22 hours ago, sober4life said:

I love animals.  I don't have a pet yet.  It's getting close though.  I need to believe I can give that animal a good life.  I'm almost there.  I see next month as pet month.🐕

We are fostering a dog now. The intent is to adopt if it works out. Try being a foster if you need to do a test first.

You can do it. I know you can.

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16 minutes ago, In2deep4me said:

We are fostering a dog now. The intent is to adopt if it works out. Try being a foster if you need to do a test first.

You can do it. I know you can.

Thank you I know I can do it too.  I have very strict principles on some things.  It's not about whether or not I can do it.  I must believe that pet's life will be a happy life living here.  It's much like my idea with having children.  I want to more than anything but I'm terrified that I will mess up a life.  I'm always so on the fence about whether I am fixed enough to bring someone or something into my life.

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I hurt myself today.
 

Haha just like the NIN song(also excellently covered by Johnny Cash)

This time though, not intentionally. A pulled hamstring. 

I am fed up with this fcked up body. It can’t take any kind of exercise. I ALWAYS end up in chronic pain.  There wasn’t any exertion involved. My body is just fcked up. Like my mind.

Now I want to hurt myself intentionally for being such a loser. I wish I was dead.

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For some of us there  comes a time when life truly isn’t worth the effort. And no amount of Tony f ucking Robbins or Eckhardt friggin Tolle will change that.

My Now sucks. No power there.

 

Hahaha I thought I was in the “What are you thinking of now” - thread.

Edited by samadhiSheol

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It really just becomes a prison sentence after a while.  You figure out the world is pure evil.  Yes there are good people but there are people in control of everything that are capable of absolutely anything so we're powerless really.  Everything is bs and everything is a con of some kind.  By the time we reach our ends we're done.  We're begging for it to be over the sooner the better.

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51 minutes ago, sober4life said:

You figure out the world is pure evil. 

We are all “evil”, make no mistake. Humanity can’t help it. It’s in our genes to be selfish and we are incapable of investing into the future. 
 


 

 

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36 minutes ago, samadhiSheol said:

We are all “evil”, make no mistake. Humanity can’t help it. It’s in our genes to be selfish and we are incapable of investing into the future. 
 


 

 

By saying evil I'm not referring to religion.  After a pandemic with complete silence out there I doubt I'll ever refer to it again.  The people in charge are investing in only their future.  They could care less about the general people.  It's the farmer with the cows situation for us.  Like them we were born into a business we didn't want any part of.  Of course that's what governments are a business and we're the worker bees.  If one bee dies the next one takes it's place.

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9 hours ago, sober4life said:

Thank you I know I can do it too.  I have very strict principles on some things.  It's not about whether or not I can do it.  I must believe that pet's life will be a happy life living here.  It's much like my idea with having children.  I want to more than anything but I'm terrified that I will mess up a life.  I'm always so on the fence about whether I am fixed enough to bring someone or something into my life.

Well here's a thought for you on that. You're a decent person. You love animals. The fact you have depression, anxiety, issues and so on. They don't seem to affect your ability to live alone and take care of yourself. So taking care of a dog is not that much to add to your plate compared to the big reward of having a companion. We are fostering an older dog, she's 7. We love her to peices already. We're keeping her. We have earned her trust and she likes being with us. We love her, feed her, take her for walks and to do her business. She stays in the house for the most part and hangs out with us. She's happy and safe. That's about all a dog needs. Older dogs get left behind as many want puppies or younger dogs. Neither of us want the aggravation of puppy training. BTDT... This dog is trained, obedient, and chilled out. We make a good match.

So if you foster one to test the waters or do a try and buy (which shelters will do) then you're most likely saving that dogs life. You don't have to have a perfect home or a perfect life. Just be the decent person you are. Really, that's all that matters. You might even find out that the dog is actually saving you, not the other way around. 😉

 

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Fixed a couple of my tow trucks,have one employee that drove these ignored problems.Hired him 2 weeks ago and did fire him,cost me money fixing what he broke and knew he had to go.

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13 minutes ago, In2deep4me said:

Well here's a thought for you on that. You're a decent person. You love animals. The fact you have depression, anxiety, issues and so on. They don't seem to affect your ability to live alone and take care of yourself. So taking care of a dog is not that much to add to your plate compared to the big reward of having a companion. We are fostering an older dog, she's 7. We love her to peices already. We're keeping her. We have earned her trust and she likes being with us. We love her, feed her, take her for walks and to do her business. She stays in the house for the most part and hangs out with us. She's happy and safe. That's about all a dog needs. Older dogs get left behind as many want puppies or younger dogs. Neither of us want the aggravation of puppy training. BTDT... This dog is trained, obedient, and chilled out. We make a good match.

So if you foster one to test the waters or do a try and buy (which shelters will do) then you're most likely saving that dogs life. You don't have to have a perfect home or a perfect life. Just be the decent person you are. Really, that's all that matters. You might even find out that the dog is actually saving you, not the other way around. 😉

 

My brother says I should get a dog as a puppy but I'm not going to do it.  I can train a dog and have trained them but I'm going to find one that's already trained.  The first week of next month I'm going to go to the shelters and I'll know when I find the one.  They want you to fill out an online application at the local shelters but I won't.  That's not how I do things.  On a day I feel good I will just wake up and go.

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7 hours ago, sober4life said:

My brother says I should get a dog as a puppy but I'm not going to do it.  I can train a dog and have trained them but I'm going to find one that's already trained.  The first week of next month I'm going to go to the shelters and I'll know when I find the one.  They want you to fill out an online application at the local shelters but I won't.  That's not how I do things.  On a day I feel good I will just wake up and go.

I think you'll make a great pet parent!! 

I agree, it's a really good way to go, to adopt an older pet. The two loves of my life have been older rescue kitties and we couldn't have loved each other more ♥️

I do have thoughts about being cat free in the future so that I can travel more (if it's possible) but we'll see... I don't seem to last long without a cat... I start combing the streets to meet with them 😂

Edited by Nightjar

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Got up early, fed mini. Had some fruit and a hot chocolate, quickly got ready and.... 

Drove to the next city, then up icy country lanes 😬 to reach my destination. Saw a huge flock of birds flying overhead. It was a bit of a moment.. 

Queued outside supermarket to use the loos. Then bought coke, sipped on it by the river whilst listening to some batty conversations... I've never seen so many crazies there before.. I guess they knew I was coming.. But I didn't join in today 😂 praps, I'm not even crazy anymore, who knows. 

Walked around for a bit and made my way to see house number 1 which was ancient and tiny but full of character.... Then went to see next one which I liked a lot. 

Had some enthusiastic conversations with the owners and agent and touched the bricks to mark my territory 😂 mini would have been proud but perhaps a little disappointed that I didn't wee on it 😂 Maybe next time 😉

After that made my way to the bakery for a sausage roll. Ate it by the river, then made my way back to the car... 

Drove back along the icy roads 🚙 and came home... 

Put some potatoes in the oven, played with mini lion and now having a cuddle ❤️🦁❤️

:emoticon-0141-whew:

Edited by Nightjar

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1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

Then went to see next one which I liked a lot. 

 

Good for you!  ... um, except for the icy roads.

If this is too nosy, do not answer.  If you do get a house in the area where you want to move, approximately how far away is it from where you live now?

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8 minutes ago, jkd_sd said:

Good for you!  ... um, except for the icy roads.

If this is too nosy, do not answer.  If you do get a house in the area where you want to move, approximately how far away is it from where you live now?

😂 Ha! No, not too nosey. 

It's 37.5 miles. Do you think it's enough of a deterrent? 😁

That's 60 km if that helps. I don't know what system you have in the US 🤔

Edited by Nightjar

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1 minute ago, Nightjar said:

😂 Ha! No, not too nosey. 

It's 37.5 miles. Do you think it's enough of a deterrent? 😁

Honestly?   It will probably reduce the 'spur of the moment' stuff.  What concerns me is that she will do less frequent but more 'showy' events.   Hey, this is just me being pessimistic!  My crystal ball does not work.  

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7 minutes ago, jkd_sd said:

Honestly?   It will probably reduce the 'spur of the moment' stuff.  What concerns me is that she will do less frequent but more 'showy' events.   Hey, this is just me being pessimistic!  My crystal ball does not work.  

You're right. I've lived there before and had that experience. Less frequent works a lot better for me. The frequency and proximity really adds to the relentless chip, chip, chipping away at my boundaries and self esteem. 

Up there, nobody knows her - so no 'friendly' chats with neighbours. There's no parking outside or front garden to leave stuff which is a bonus too. 

Hey jkd, can I be nosey and ask was your mother the same? Did you move far away? 

Edited by Nightjar

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4 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

Hey jkd, can I be nosey and ask was your mother the same? Did you move far away?

'Turn about is fair play.'  😆

Mom and I have had our good and bad times, but we have a pretty good relationship.  She can seem kinda narc, but it is only because she sometimes feels overwhelmed by life and overreacts to compensate.

 I live 200+ miles from my parents, but still stay in touch.  Ironically, I wish I could move closer to my parents, and might manage that 'someday' when the world calms down.  🙄

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36 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

😂 Ha! No, not too nosey. 

It's 37.5 miles. Do you think it's enough of a deterrent? 😁

That's 60 km if that helps. I don't know what system you have in the US 🤔

I've been 50 miles away and we didn't speak for 3 years.  It's possible.  Sometimes it would be long gaps and guilt trips into having weekend visits that would destroy me too.

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