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20YearsandCounting

TA's "What's On Your Mind Right Now?" Thread, Part 3

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Have an appointment with the clinic's NP - not the one handling my HIV protocol - tomorrow afternoon to review their last labs.  Haven't even been able to access the results from their portal, so I'm going in completely blind.

idk whether it's worth it to even run through the litany of physical symptoms - dizzyness and/or what I guess I'd call muscle seizures, sometimes losing sight in the left eye, leg pain, some limping that occurs without warning.  I know from experience she'll refer me to a specialist but those in the clinic who are supposed to follow up will ignore the request. 

What I may tell her is that I'm giving up.  I simply can't fight my own symptoms plus their incompetent bureaucracy.

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1 hour ago, MarkintheDark said:

Have an appointment with the clinic's NP - not the one handling my HIV protocol - tomorrow afternoon to review their last labs.  Haven't even been able to access the results from their portal, so I'm going in completely blind.

idk whether it's worth it to even run through the litany of physical symptoms - dizzyness and/or what I guess I'd call muscle seizures, sometimes losing sight in the left eye, leg pain, some limping that occurs without warning.  I know from experience she'll refer me to a specialist but those in the clinic who are supposed to follow up will ignore the request. 

What I may tell her is that I'm giving up.  I simply can't fight my own symptoms plus their incompetent bureaucracy.

I've given up on finding caring in health care or anywhere really.  There have been plenty of times I've had appointments where I show up and they say you're not scheduled today.  They cancel without even telling me.  That's the world we live in.  Nobody cares.  I have to find the strength to keep fighting even though I know nobody cares what happens to me.  Sadly I just worry what they will do if you say you are giving up.  

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

Sadly I just worry what they will do if you say you are giving up.  

First, I know to lie convincingly on the PHQ-9.  I have for years.  Second, I know to phrase it that I'm giving up on THEM.

Edited by MarkintheDark

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A bit concerned about my neck and shoulders as they have been bothering me for some reason.  So I have decided to take it easy.  Kind of wish that my studying for a new certification was going faster.  I have been meaning to look around for jobs but have not had the heart. 

Debating on whether or not to ask for work while I am hurt, but that is just asking to get more hurt.  Concerned about a bit out of state project that I might be assigned to.  I hesitatingly accepted it. 

 

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