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How Do You Feel Right Now #11


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9 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

I thought I had found my other half, right here on DF, several years ago. But as things always go in my life, my dreams evaporated as soon as I began to follow them. POOF!

I felt like the coyote from Road Runner who just ran past the edge of the cliff and is left standing in mid air for a second before he plummets to the ground thousands of feet below.

My life has been one miserable failure after another.

I know how you feel.  The one I love is married and now has a child as well.  It's as over as it gets for me with that person.  The other people I loved in life what happened there?  One tried to **** me,  one died in a car accident,  one committed suicide and the other is married to someone else.

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4 hours ago, MargotMontage said:

I know what you mean. I had a night like that the night before last, and last night, I didn't sleep at all. It's very tiring, I know, and I also want to get off the 'roller coaster' most of the time. Still, while it's hard not to hate oneself at times, it's important to know that you don't need to, and that you are still human, and that if you can hold out, the 'horrible night' eventually ends.

It doesn’t end really.. the feelings n thoughts come back in the morning n in the afternoon..and times when I least expect it..it spoils everything..not that everything is nice in the first place..I hate riding it out..I hate my thoughts..I hate this house..I hate how hard it is to be grateful..grateful for your kind words..grateful for a roof over my head..grateful for a place to vent..I feel so sick forcing myself to try again n again n again..but what choice do I have..I have no choice but to continue living this life whether I want to or not.. I’m sorry I’m such a downer..maybe ur right..maybe these nights will end one day..I just wish they will end faster..I don’t know how long I can endure all this..

Edited by Depressedgurl007
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Tonight’s been just a bit better.  Just feel like I’m trying to catch my breath, calm down, take it easy.  The last few days have been a morass within an abyss.

(Now it’s just an abyss. 🤣🤣🤣)

But better right now.

Edited by adamrparr
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People don't care about mental illness. the last few days all over social media all i see is "i hope this year for christmas we find the cure for cancer" and im like really? dont get me wrong i feel bad for all those who suffer with cancer , but why not say all illnesses? why just cancer? so we don't count?....i'm so sick of this world and people being close minded..

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How things are right now is health care's version of a cure for mental illness.  A cure to them is a pill you have to take forever and appointments you have to make with doctors forever.  They don't want cures that mean we can show up today and everything is fixed today.  That's bad for business.

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13 minutes ago, sober4life said:

How things are right now is health care's version of a cure for mental illness.  A cure to them is a pill you have to take forever and appointments you have to make with doctors forever.  They don't want cures that mean we can show up today and everything is fixed today.  That's bad for business.

even so NOT even half of those who suffer with this illness get a relief from pills, and those that do, get side effects and end up stopping pills. plus more people would say "oh wow, look at that" if a famous/rich person stands and takes a pic and posts it on their social media profile next to a child with an illness or a cancer patient..than with someone struggling with a mental illness. that's the world we live in sadly..we don't count.

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1 hour ago, ladysmurf said:

People don't care about mental illness. the last few days all over social media all i see is "i hope this year for christmas we find the cure for cancer" and im like really? dont get me wrong i feel bad for all those who suffer with cancer , but why not say all illnesses? why just cancer? so we don't count?....i'm so sick of this world and people being close minded..

I wonder if there are Runs for even about mental awareness. There has always been Runs for X cancers. It seems the public don't take mental health seriously. Typically, most people want to talked about it or even associate with people who have a mental illness. 

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10 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

even so NOT even half of those who suffer with this illness get a relief from pills, and those that do, get side effects and end up stopping pills. plus more people would say "oh wow, look at that" if a famous/rich person stands and takes a pic and posts it on their social media profile next to a child with an illness or a cancer patient..than with someone struggling with a mental illness. that's the world we live in sadly..we don't count.

I agree with everything you said and as I said before things will change the day people say I'm sick of this and stop going to the doctor.  As long as their waiting rooms are packed they have no incentive to change what they're doing.  They "treat" the people that come to their office and could care less about the rest.  A lot of people that don't get help from the medication live on the streets in the homeless population and they don't care about them.  Those people have no insurance so they don't care about them.

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1 hour ago, Stand_alone said:

I wonder if there are Runs for even about mental awareness. There has always been Runs for X cancers. It seems the public don't take mental health seriously. Typically, most people want to talked about it or even associate with people who have a mental illness. 

not that i know of, only for suicidal walks ..american association of suicide i think ? something like that...but for Mental Awareness, not much out there..and i think NAMI too ..unless i am mistaken...it's not taken seriously..

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

I agree with everything you said and as I said before things will change the day people say I'm sick of this and stop going to the doctor.  As long as their waiting rooms are packed they have no incentive to change what they're doing.  They "treat" the people that come to their office and could care less about the rest.  A lot of people that don't get help from the medication live on the streets in the homeless population and they don't care about them.  Those people have no insurance so they don't care about them.

It's all about the money ..

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Very tired. Little energy. Overwhelmed by doing new things and in need of rest but now my mother is ill. It sounds odd but it feels like another form of control. Drop everything, she's ill again. Don't worry about your life. Why even try to get one?  You need to be on red alert for her call 24/7. You never know when she will be ill again and you will have to spend 8 hours in the hospital. I didn't go in today. Maybe it will come back to bite me but I was overwhelmed before I even knew about it and we're still no contact after her latest onslaught 2 weeks ago. Also feel sad and worried and wondering whats going to happen and if/when things are ever going to improve for me 😔

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5 hours ago, sober4life said:

How things are right now is health care's version of a cure for mental illness.  A cure to them is a pill you have to take forever and appointments you have to make with doctors forever.  They don't want cures that mean we can show up today and everything is fixed today.  That's bad for business.

Yep and that’s sounds like a living hell to me. I wish people could focus on making a cure or something or at least give us a pass and not expect us to work even harder.

i just wish more could see these wonderful comments. This is the truth that so many are earning and wishing they could hear from people instead of the "it gets better".

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18 minutes ago, sober4life said:

The person sending me things from Hospice finally showed her true colors.  If I send a donation of $100 they will send me a beautiful Christmas ornament.  I hate people!

That’s so artificial and mean, what happened to just being kind to your neighbor. If I was her I’d written you a Christmas card and given you some cookies, I mean is it so hard to go to the store and share it with others?

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On 12/1/2019 at 2:22 PM, Depressedgurl007 said:

I want to die. Tonight is a horrible horrible night. I’m tired of roller coasters. Just get me off already please. This sea of hatred towards myself..it’s never ending..

I’m sorry to hear that, nights are always the worst. Especially the lonely stressful ones. I just wish all my responsibilities could disappear and that I could have some good sleep.

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57 minutes ago, JustAnotherSufferer said:

I’m sorry to hear that, nights are always the worst. Especially the lonely stressful ones. I just wish all my responsibilities could disappear and that I could have some good sleep.

I suddenly feel grateful to have understanding people like you guys around. I’ve really been feeling very low even now wishing I can just run away from my responsibilities..nobody in this house understands me and small communications with them always leaves a bitter feeling that gets worse throughout the day..just.. thanks for understanding..

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1 hour ago, JustAnotherSufferer said:

That’s so artificial and mean, what happened to just being kind to your neighbor. If I was her I’d written you a Christmas card and given you some cookies, I mean is it so hard to go to the store and share it with others?

Thank you.  I am kind to people.  I'm not letting her or anyone else get me down.  There is a special place in hell for people like her.  As I said before I'm going to enjoy the holidays and not let anyone take them from me.  Right now I'm wrapping Christmas presents.  You could pretty much throw the box and the wrapping paper into a wind tunnel with some tape and however it comes out is about as good as I am at wrapping gifts but I'm still enjoying it.

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