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20YearsandCounting

How Do You Feel Right Now #11

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4 hours ago, RiverLight said:

So the sales web page I built at work brought in 5 sales leads over the weekend. My client is happy but our operations director (who is an a-hole) said well, nothing has come in today. What a you know what. He’s the type who’s never happy. 

Wow, I hate working with people like that. But well done with your work! Five sales leads is great! You're doing a fantastic job!

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51 minutes ago, Depressedgurl007 said:

Am I the only one who wakes up in the morning n google morning motivations straight away. Feeling so ridiculous but really how else am I supposed to get out of bed..there is nothing to look forward to nothing to make me move..

Well, that's not a bad way to start the day. On the days I'm not in too much pain, I have a morning routine I follow for that reason. On the days I am in pain, I usually start by thinking about the coffee and chocolate bar I stash for that reason and it gets me up. Honestly, your method is better, since you won't put on weight or get diabetes from looking at motivational quotes with pictures of kittens and stuff.

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34 minutes ago, sober4life said:

What gets me out of bed is the headache I have because I need caffeine and then I drink it all day to keep me going.

I feel that need for caffeine, too, so I relate. When I feel ill, I usually have chocolate with it, which doesn't help my weight, but ya know.

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

I would probably tell him well what are you doing to help things today other than mouthing off?  Of course I want you to have a better life than me though.

Hehehe. No kidding. I did HIS job for him!!!!! And it's a success! lol. 

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47 minutes ago, MargotMontage said:

Wow, I hate working with people like that. But well done with your work! Five sales leads is great! You're doing a fantastic job!

Omg.. I know, right???? Just never happy! And thanks so much!!!!!! 4 more leads came in today too, after he made that snarky comment. What an a-hole. 

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On 11/10/2019 at 6:04 PM, JD4010 said:

Only tumbleweeds in the chat now...though I do see brother @Tilted in there on rare occasions.

I'm there most afternoons Eastern time, and occasionally I'll see @APFSDS or @ladysmurf but usually I just time out and miss people's messages... 

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Today?  Eh...  Chose to basically hide today.  Haven’t done a single thing.  Just a throwaway first day after coming back.  I’ll own the fact that I chose to put the stuff off until tomorrow.  Is what it is at this point.

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3 hours ago, Depressedgurl007 said:

Am I the only one who wakes up in the morning n google morning motivations straight away. Feeling so ridiculous but really how else am I supposed to get out of bed..there is nothing to look forward to nothing to make me move..

I do. and I have a notebook that I write down the ones that have meaning for me or the situation I'm in.

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13 minutes ago, adamrparr said:

Chose to basically hide today.  Haven’t done a single thing.  Just a throwaway first day after coming back.  I’ll own the fact that I chose to put the stuff off until tomorrow.  Is what it is at this point.

And that's what you needed to do coming off the trip.  It was a lot of stimulation, albeit what sounded positive, for just a few days.

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20 minutes ago, adamrparr said:

Today?  Eh...  Chose to basically hide today.  Haven’t done a single thing.  Just a throwaway first day after coming back.  I’ll own the fact that I chose to put the stuff off until tomorrow.  Is what it is at this point.

How was your trip to Orlando?

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On 11/10/2019 at 12:01 PM, bbwolf said:

hey duck, how are you? i go to chat alot but nobady is ever there, and if there is they not talkitive or at least to me they not

 

I am doing okay.  I go to chat but there is no one there.  I am in Mountain time zone so I guess when I go on chat everyone has already left.  I have been going to various programs so I am rarely at home.

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My quality of life is pathetic.  All I do is survive the day.  There's never any real hope.  Maybe tomorrow will be better or next week but my mind and body are toast for the most part.  I just keep pretending I can do this until we reach the inevitable day where my mind says I'm out of here see ya.

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35 minutes ago, sober4life said:

My quality of life is pathetic.  All I do is survive the day.  There's never any real hope.  Maybe tomorrow will be better or next week but my mind and body are toast for the most part.  I just keep pretending I can do this until we reach the inevitable day where my mind says I'm out of here see ya.

I am sorry I wish I could fix your problems or take them away for even a minute 

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I have never been able to relax.  Both my mind and body is in a constant state of tension. I hate myself for being such a f ucking p ussy. For being so nervous and anxious. My mind is in constant flux. I don't recall a time when it hasn't. I honestly don't know what it feels like not to be aroused and irritable.  I am always restless and impatient, short-tempered and have the attention span of ..wait, I don't have an attention span. Ha ha.

Don't give me the adhd crap or mindfulness. I'm not and mindfulness isnt the panacea it's sold as. I have seen enough of docs, psychs and other representitives of Quackery Incorporated and I see no point going there anymore.

I am dissatified with myself and life in general. I pretty much despise myself for being the failure I am.  Now it would seem my health is declining. Aches and pains in my tendons. F uck that too. Nothing the docs do helps.

I dont care about the joneses, I am just a failure unto myself. I have never known what I want or who I am. Nothing seems relevant to me in this world. I end up in crap jobs and I fail at anything I attempt to do. I have no skills, talents or interests. An indicator of the Dead Within.

To be honest, I don't truly connect to anyone or anything. There is always something lacking and I believe it's that I don't have (a) soul. I am dead already. I have been dead like that my whole adult life, probably even before that.

I see nothing changing in the future. I don't even have a future. All I see is emptiness and the travesty that is my life. Perhaps everyone elses lives too. I believe we are f ucked as a species and there is f.a. to do about it.

Everything points to the fact I should be dead in all ways. And hopefully that will happen soon. This crap stops here.

Though it won't until I really am dead, will it?

 

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I woke up upset. It's always about my job. My job really gets to me. Now I'm doing extra work for a client when I am only supposed to spend 7 hours a week on them, for which I'm paid. Any extra work I do for them is FREE. And we're not supposed to do that. Well, this one client keeps calling me about nit picky things and about things that are outside my realm of responsibility. They treat me like I am part of their own staff for crying out loud! Coordinating website updates with their web developer, which is NOT my job! I'm exasperated. I told my boss, and he didn't do a single thing about it. So I told account services, and I can see where it's headed. They're all so afraid of LOSING a client by pushing back and drawing boundaries because they don't freaking do inside sales to keep a pipeline of clients in the works. So if we lose a big client, our jobs are in jeopardy instead! This is no way to run a freaking business! Who the hell doesn't do inside sales for a digital marketing agency!!!!?????? I am beside myself. They run this place ass-backwards. 

So today I have to go in and tell my boss (more emphatically) that I am working above 7 hours for this one client. And they just gave me another client too. If I have to work more than 7 for the one, I will have no room to take on a new client. And because my job was in jeopardy a few months back, I cannot be an a-hole about it.... I have to be very diplomatic about this and not sound like I am complaining or being negative. But I feel stretched thin, I am starting to get stressed about all the work on my plate, and I don't know how I will manage yet another client who is also a big challenge. ARGH! 

WTF. Happy Tuesday to me! lol. 

At least I am talking to a new recruiter today about job possibilities. I hope to be gone from this place by early next year. I need to be....

OK, JUST BREATHE!!!!!!! 

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14 hours ago, Tilted said:

I'm there most afternoons Eastern time, and occasionally I'll see @APFSDS or @ladysmurf but usually I just time out and miss people's messages... 

I try to go there sometimes but with the time difference, it's hard to meet up with people.

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