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20YearsandCounting

How Do You Feel Right Now #11

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13 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I didn't plan on doing my taxes today but the stress brought on a manic episode 4 and a half hours ago.  I have to do them right now my mind screamed so I did just walk into a tax place I've never been to and just did my taxes right there on the spot without even making an appointment.

Now that’s how you take charge of a situation 

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Doing okay. Was really angry earlier for no good reason but I'm calm now- just needed to talk it out. 

Pulled a mysterious foreign object out of my neck cyst and I'm uhhhh moderately concerned? I'm already on antibiotics and stuff for it so I hope it's just an effect of the medication...

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I bit my tongue tonight pretty badly. It was bleeding conti uously for like 5 minutes straight! Crazy stuff! It's been about a half hour and it might still be bleeding a little. I can't really flex it right now if I want it to stop. So hard. I'm going to get hungry again soon and I'm nervous about it. At least i was finally able to drink water and take my vitamins. This is crazy! I've never bitten my tongue so hard that it bled. I feel like a vampire! Lol

I was going to work chest and back again tonight, but I'm a little worried that might get me bleeding again (you know, all the extra circulation.) I dunno! So that kinda sucks. Hah! Like a vampire! 😛

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1 hour ago, surfcaster said:

i feel well enough to be normal but keep looking for that black cloud

stop looking. run run as fast as you can and it won't catch you! 😛 (my silly attempt at being funny. hey! it worked once today!)

best

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Feeling a bit lonely today. It's weird because it looks like I make the impossible to be alone, I feel somehow hypocrite. Do I make myself clear? It's like, I wish to have someone to share several things, but at the same time, I hate most of the people... or I just don't want to deal with them, I really enjoy silence, but sometimes is too much. I'm feeling that I suck at living, in this kind of aspect... again, hypocrite.

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10 hours ago, adamrparr said:

 That’s really frightening for me, particularly when I really don’t want to do much of anything.  Does that make any sense?

Yes, it does. I've experienced this many times when I've somehow managed to get out of my 'depression routine' of sleeping late, slowly getting a couple of things done etc....

The day sprawls before me and I have no idea what to do. I guess that's when I realise that I'm gonna have to face some of the things I've been afraid of...I've inadvertently put myself in a position of no choice in the matter and that's when the fear kicks in. 

Hope that makes sense.

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5 hours ago, nothing_man said:

Feeling a bit lonely today. It's weird because it looks like I make the impossible to be alone, I feel somehow hypocrite. Do I make myself clear? It's like, I wish to have someone to share several things, but at the same time, I hate most of the people... or I just don't want to deal with them, I really enjoy silence, but sometimes is too much. I'm feeling that I suck at living, in this kind of aspect... again, hypocrite.

I feel the same way.  I want a partner in life and I want to have children as well but I can't stand to be around people because they make me sick for the most part.  It's very hard to find people that make me feel better.

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12 hours ago, anxiousE said:

Oh! almost forgot! So question for you folks. Has anyone here ever like taken a friendship from this forum to another media or site (ie: Twitter or Facebook, IG?) 

Absolutely.  I email and text some people almost daily.  🙂

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I am honestly looking forward to spring/summer i feel better than, not so much anxiety & depression and I get out of the house more so I am looking forward to that.

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Very low mood.  Anxiety.  Sleep schedule is about as off as it can be.  Haven’t been taking very good care of myself.  Depression has been the main factor that has been limiting my effectiveness.  My mind’s fogged.  Don’t feel capable of writing very much.  I hate that feeling.

Have to pick up my meds refills tomorrow, but without going into details, I’m concerned that that may not happen as intended.  Needless to say, this has me extremely spooked.  Withdrawal from one of them is extraordinarily bad.  Could lead to a hospitalization, in all honesty.  Catastrophizing?  Maybe.  Realistic?  Very possibly.

So I’m just feeling anxious, worried, depressed & even guilty about not having taken very good care of myself recently.  Really didn’t want to write any of this out.

: /

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16 minutes ago, anxiousE said:

I have had mixed moods and feelings today. But I feel better atm. Just tired.

try and build on what is making you feel better right now, but we all have been there, keep your head up

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Struggling tonight.  Garden variety grade-A depression.  Don’t want to  talk about anything.  Don’t really want to write either.

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I'm struggling with something. Not really exactly personal (about me) so I can't really talk about it here anyway. It actually got semi resolved though, so maybe it's ok. I'm just tired, physically and emotionally. 😕 But I send my best wishes to everyone! 

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4 hours ago, adamrparr said:

Very low mood.  Anxiety.  Sleep schedule is about as off as it can be.  Haven’t been taking very good care of myself.  Depression has been the main factor that has been limiting my effectiveness.  My mind’s fogged.  Don’t feel capable of writing very much.  I hate that feeling.

Have to pick up my meds refills tomorrow, but without going into details, I’m concerned that that may not happen as intended.  Needless to say, this has me extremely spooked.  Withdrawal from one of them is extraordinarily bad.  Could lead to a hospitalization, in all honesty.  Catastrophizing?  Maybe.  Realistic?  Very possibly.

So I’m just feeling anxious, worried, depressed & even guilty about not having taken very good care of myself recently.  Really didn’t want to write any of this out.

: /

I am glad that you did. We give a shit about you, but there is no judgement here. If I am totally honest, I ran out of my Zoloft a few days ago, and put off making sure that I had a refill available until I was really feeling like crap (mind fogged, on edge, fits of crying, etc.) Then, turns out I do not have any refills left at the pharmacy - so all of a sudden it is a crisis that involves calls to the doctor and anxiety over them telling me, "Well, it usually takes 3 to 5 days." Add to that digestive distress for the second month in a row and midlife hormonal insanity and I have been rather a basket case for the last week.

You have nothing to feel guilty about. Just do what you can do to make it happen and let yourself off the hook. I can imagine that your closeness with a certain cat lover we all know has really hit you hard. I know that the loss of him hit me harder than I could have imagined. Hang in there friend ((hugs))

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37 minutes ago, adamrparr said:

Struggling tonight.  Garden variety grade-A depression.  Don’t want to  talk about anything.  Don’t really want to write either.

See previous post 😉

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6 hours ago, adamrparr said:

Struggling tonight.  Garden variety grade-A depression.  Don’t want to  talk about anything.  Don’t really want to write either.

I hope it eases enough for you to get your meds sorted today/tomorrow :hugs:

Keep us posted OK?  

Edited by Nightjar

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1 minute ago, sober4life said:

I woke up with a panic attack.

That sucks. I have them too. Mostly at night. Mostly when I've been on my own too long 😞 Sorry to hear that Sober. Hope you feel a bit better now. 

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Feeling better today. Yesterday,  I was very irritable all day. I'm pretty sure it was a hangover from my sugar binge on Sunday. Though that seems like a delayed reaction, I've noticed that awful irritability happens when I overinduge with the sweet stuff. Going to try to cut down today.

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21 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

Feeling better today. Yesterday,  I was very irritable all day. I'm pretty sure it was a hangover from my sugar binge on Sunday. Though that seems like a delayed reaction, I've noticed that awful irritability happens when I overinduge with the sweet stuff. Going to try to cut down today.

It’s always a blessing when you realize that something you are doing isn’t good for you 
and especially  when you have the strength to change it . 

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