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How Do You Feel Right Now #11


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2 hours ago, sober4life said:

Sadly I know exactly how you feel.  My brain has never been on my side.  The last thing my brain wants is for me to find a better way to do this life.  My brain wants me to sit back and do nothing but drink and eat and watch tv all day.

Lets hope we can both change that , and live a more productive life, that we want!!!! without caring about what others think about us regarding how real this illness is, and how we deal with our illness.

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I was prescribed Ritalin for possible ADHD. Today was my first day on it. Spent the next 4-6 hours twitching nonstop, super hungry, unable to focus, and having a wicked headache, plus my heart felt like it was gonna explode. Felt like it gave me ADHD with how my body reacted 😅

I have the funny feeling I don't have ADHD. The guy who diagnosed me only spoke to me for a half hour and said so himself that I didn't quite match the DSM. Plus he did no speaking to my teachers or other doctor or therapist. Whole thing felt sketchy and my primary doc (who did the actual prescribing) didn't seem sure that it was right so she put me on the lowest dose just in case it might work, and told me to let her know if anything unusual occurs. I think bouncing off the walls counts as unusual.

Edited by PraiseBrownies
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12 hours ago, PraiseBrownies said:

I was prescribed Ritalin for possible ADHD. Today was my first day on it. Spent the next 4-6 hours twitching nonstop, super hungry, unable to focus, and having a wicked headache, plus my heart felt like it was gonna explode. Felt like it gave me ADHD with how my body reacted 😅

I have the funny feeling I don't have ADHD. The guy who diagnosed me only spoke to me for a half hour and said so himself that I didn't quite match the DSM. Plus he did no speaking to my teachers or other doctor or therapist. Whole thing felt sketchy and my primary doc (who did the actual prescribing) didn't seem sure that it was right so she put me on the lowest dose just in case it might work, and told me to let her know if anything unusual occurs. I think bouncing off the walls counts as unusual.

yikes.. that is not fun, i took that before for depression because it helps some, but it made my anxiety go crazy just like the way you are describing so i couldn't keep up with it. how much dosage did he give you? maybe he started you off on a large dosage?

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16 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

yikes.. that is not fun, i took that before for depression because it helps some, but it made my anxiety go crazy just like the way you are describing so i couldn't keep up with it. how much dosage did he give you? maybe he started you off on a large dosage?

No, it's just 5mg. I'm taking it with my regular Prozac so I was wondering if they're interacting and giving me funky side effects. I'm on it again today and though there's less head pain, I'm still jumpy and hungry, and my focus is no better. I have the feeling that's not what it's supposed to do.

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54 minutes ago, PraiseBrownies said:

No, it's just 5mg. I'm taking it with my regular Prozac so I was wondering if they're interacting and giving me funky side effects. I'm on it again today and though there's less head pain, I'm still jumpy and hungry, and my focus is no better. I have the feeling that's not what it's supposed to do.

maybe its too much ? or maybe you need to adjust to it? what did he say?

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7 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

maybe its too much ? or maybe you need to adjust to it? what did he say?

It's the smallest my doctor could give me- the psychologist didn't really say anything but my doctor told me to watch out for if my heart feels like it's beating weirdly, and to keep an eye on my appetite as it may decrease.  None of them told me of any adjustment time. 

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38 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I feel very shaky and run down.  I get like this sometimes.  I run full tilt until there is nobody left.

I can wear myself out too.  I think we do that to ourselves because we think we never do enough.

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5 minutes ago, adamrparr said:

I can wear myself out too.  I think we do that to ourselves because we think we never do enough.

It's that plus it's something I've always dealt with.  I always have this thought what if I'm not able to do it tomorrow?  I think I'm well enough to do it today so I might as well do everything today.  So I do a mountain of things today to try to avoid the stress of doing it tomorrow.  It's like I'm always trying to free up tomorrow but I'll do the same thing tomorrow.  There's never a free day.  Tomorrow will just be a mountain of things I didn't think of doing today.  

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Have y'all had experiences with people diagnosing stuff or prescribing stuff that seemed wrong? My adhd med just wore off and I suddenly feel a lot more focused, calm, and productive, which is my usual state. People I'm speaking to, even my doctor, are having doubts that I have ADHD. Not sure what psychologist man was getting at. 

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32 minutes ago, sober4life said:

It's that plus it's something I've always dealt with.  I always have this thought what if I'm not able to do it tomorrow?  I think I'm well enough to do it today so I might as well do everything today.  So I do a mountain of things today to try to avoid the stress of doing it tomorrow.  It's like I'm always trying to free up tomorrow but I'll do the same thing tomorrow.  There's never a free day.  Tomorrow will just be a mountain of things I didn't think of doing today.  

I know what you mean and I do it too. Because there really is so much to do right?!

Especially for you I imagine because it sounds like you've got a bit of land and a sizeable home. It's lovely to have space to move around in and call your own but it's also a handful. I've got a tiny house, a small garden and a cat who thinks it's a human child to look after(!) and it's just about all I can do to manage. 

When I say manage I mean I keep it in pretty good order, it's not immaculate.

Doing is addictive I think. The more you do, the more you find to do. This can be especially true with housework. You could spend your whole life cleaning the house and there would always be a crumb and a hair on the carpet. It never ends. 

This is why I think it's important to make time for just 'being'. Oh, easier said than done, definitely but oh, so worth it.

I meant to find time for 'doing' and 'being' today and I failed miserably. I've been at it with the housework all day. Zero yoga.

Some days however I succeed in spending time just 'being' and it keeps me relatively sane in a mad world. 

It gives your mind a rest and your body a chance to rest too. I find the only way I can achieve it is to spend time sitting or walking in nature or through yoga and meditation. The rest of the time 'you tube,'  housework, my cat child, my crazy mother and/or my to do list swallow me whole.

It's important to make time to relax.

It's not always possible I know. We're all trying to achieve it as best we can. I think we can all find time to try. I can't always relax when I walk. I don't always enjoy yoga. Sometimes there's not enough hours in the day but life just ain't worth lIving without a sense of rest and relaxation and enjoyment. 

We should strive for it I think (note to self).

 

Edited by Nightjar
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@PraiseBrownies,

I learned a long time ago that for me to trust someone just because they have a medical degree on the wall is very foolish indeed.  Bottom line with regard to ANY med is that they have no way of knowing what will actually work.  You just play the guinea pig.

I had a similar experience.  About 5 years ago I was (correctly) diagnosed with adult ADD.  My doc prescribed the lowest dose of Adderall they make.  I took one pill the first day & was bouncing off the walls & wide awake for 3 days. An absolute nightmare.  

So yeah, there so many cases where the med, and even the diagnosis, can be very wrong.  No one’s better able to assess the “rightness” of any med than you.  You’re experiencing it.  The doctor isn’t.

Edited by adamrparr
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35 minutes ago, PraiseBrownies said:

Have y'all had experiences with people diagnosing stuff or prescribing stuff that seemed wrong? My adhd med just wore off and I suddenly feel a lot more focused, calm, and productive, which is my usual state. People I'm speaking to, even my doctor, are having doubts that I have ADHD. Not sure what psychologist man was getting at. 

Yes I've had tons of diagnoses.  Who knows what's right at this point.  Like @adamrparrI would be off to the raises and up for days on Adderall.  It doesn't make me pay more attention.  It makes paying attention impossible.  I would be Ricochet Rabbit all day especially if you added the coffee I drink on top of it.

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Spent some of my lunch in the bathroom crying. Find myself thinking about going to sit outside without a jacket on (it is -48 out there) and that maybe I would just go to sleep and that would be it. 

I am tried of feeling I am never good enough, tried of not mattering to anyone, and I am tried of pretending to be "okay".

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