PraiseBrownies Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 I can't wait for it to warm up. I've always hated winter, man. It's cold and gray and it makes me sleepy. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 Overwhelmed and gloomy. That's how I feel right now. Oh, and worthless. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 You guys will probably punch me but it's supposed to be 70 degrees here tomorrow. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anxiousE Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 Bummed. For those of you who dont know, I've gained about 26lbs from being on various medications. Still on Sertraline and struggling with weight loss. I think I may have mentioned the intermittent fasting attempt on this thread not long back. Well, Turns out, my intermittent fasting is all for naught if I don't get fat adapted first. And that means keto diet, for up to 21 days claims one YouTuber. So, I'm probably not burning any fat and that makes me very discouraged! My breakfasts are half carbs and half fats (or actually, third carbs, third fat and third protein). At any rate, cutting carbs completely just seems impossible to me! Why is losing weight so hard??!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherryapplez2020 Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 So much going on same good a lot bad going to get my own place same time this yearscares me though grandmas funeral is Wednesday miss her so much sister is in the hospital agin she might not get to go bad time for her to be doing this but hey it’s her life was worried about df when I couldn’t get on here kinda sad but it scard me not sure what I would do if it really went down hope same one out there is doing well because am not but at the same time I am if that makes sense 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 3 hours ago, anxiousE said: Bummed. For those of you who dont know, I've gained about 26lbs from being on various medications. Still on Sertraline and struggling with weight loss. I think I may have mentioned the intermittent fasting attempt on this thread not long back. Well, Turns out, my intermittent fasting is all for naught if I don't get fat adapted first. And that means keto diet, for up to 21 days claims one YouTuber. So, I'm probably not burning any fat and that makes me very discouraged! My breakfasts are half carbs and half fats (or actually, third carbs, third fat and third protein). At any rate, cutting carbs completely just seems impossible to me! Why is losing weight so hard??!!! I think everyone can burn through fat. I've noticed that a lot of the times I feel hungry my body will drop my blood sugar to the 80s and I think that's to tempt me to eat but if I wait it out my blood sugar will go up because the body sees I'm not giving in and it starts burning fat. It's very hard. I remember you saying you take insulin I think so if your blood sugar is high and you take insulin we usually give ourselves a little to much and it drops too low and we feel hungry again so it's very hard to be on insulin and lose weight. I myself was diabetic but only to the point of being on Metformin. I began using my blood sugar monitor to lose weight. I wouldn't eat anything until I saw 75. It was dangerous doing this but I was backed into a corner and had to do something. I was at the do or die stage and decided to risk it. No doctor will recommend doing what I did but more than anything that's because they don't like losing patients. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John_in_SF Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 Very low. I have ruined my life. I don't know why I go on day after day. Nothing changes. I am forever alone. You can write "You're not alone!" but those are just chirpy words on a computer screen, a whistle in my graveyard. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anxiousE Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 1 hour ago, sober4life said: I think everyone can burn through fat. I've noticed that a lot of the times I feel hungry my body will drop my blood sugar to the 80s and I think that's to tempt me to eat but if I wait it out my blood sugar will go up because the body sees I'm not giving in and it starts burning fat. It's very hard. I remember you saying you take insulin I think so if your blood sugar is high and you take insulin we usually give ourselves a little to much and it drops too low and we feel hungry again so it's very hard to be on insulin and lose weight. I myself was diabetic but only to the point of being on Metformin. I began using my blood sugar monitor to lose weight. I wouldn't eat anything until I saw 75. It was dangerous doing this but I was backed into a corner and had to do something. I was at the do or die stage and decided to risk it. No doctor will recommend doing what I did but more than anything that's because they don't like losing patients. I'm not on insulin. I take thyroid medication. But my levels have been normal. I think it's the anti-depressant that's making weight loss difficult... but your comment here gives me hope. I am trying the fasting. Because I do it at night, I don't get as hungry as I would during the day...but I do get hungry still during the day. I got this "fat adaptation" theory from a YouTuber and someone else told me to not mind these self claimed "experts". So, between the two of you, I have hope...but yeah, time will tell. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anxiousE Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 oh, folks!? I uh, signed up for another forum as a backup in case this one does close down (still hoping it doesn't). Anyway, would it be ok to share that forum here with you? Suffice it to say, I use the same username over there as here. It's not recommended, but I made arrangements with the staff over there and they're allowing it. I told them about the situation here and they may contact you to see if there's any way they can help, at least that's what one of the admins told me. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 34 minutes ago, anxiousE said: I'm not on insulin. I take thyroid medication. But my levels have been normal. I think it's the anti-depressant that's making weight loss difficult... but your comment here gives me hope. I am trying the fasting. Because I do it at night, I don't get as hungry as I would during the day...but I do get hungry still during the day. I got this "fat adaptation" theory from a YouTuber and someone else told me to not mind these self claimed "experts". So, between the two of you, I have hope...but yeah, time will tell. Well if it helps mom took thyroid medication and was able to lose weight. I know what you mean by medication making weight loss difficult. When they had me on Risperdal I was up to 306 pounds. Just coming off of it the weight poured off. I don't believe there are any experts meaning I can't tell you or anyone exactly what to do and guarantee it will work. We are all different and it takes a long time to figure out what works for us and to be honest constantly being obsessed with my physical health has taken a big toll on me mentally. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherryapplez2020 Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tears_Always Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 31 minutes ago, Devlinkyla said: What is wrong and what is going on? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tears_Always Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 A really hard day for me a friend who lives in another place lost her baby today. They did every thing they could to try and save him, but in the end his little body couldn't take anymore. Sat up with her last night and then had to be at a doctors appointment this afternoon we he actually passed. I feel terrible that I wasn't able to even virtually hold her hand, and wanted so badly to be able to hold them both. I just can't understand why so many of the innocent and pure go so soon. To top it off I have an infection in my ears and fluid which is blocking what little hearing I have left. I am sure my boss thinks I just wanted an extra week of vacation, even though that is not true. Got two new medications today, both of which may interact with my depression meds, just what I need when I am barely hanging on at this point. I am fast coming back to the point of questioning what is the point of anything. It feels like anything I allow myself to care about gets ripped away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherryapplez2020 Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 14 minutes ago, Tears_Always said: What is wrong and what is going on? Grandma passed away sisters in the hospital agin lost a friend on here and missing my kids my son is 11 know and I didn’t get to see him for his birthday and haven’t got to see my kids in a year funeral on Wednesday sister won’t be there and you know what it’s just overwhelming Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherryapplez2020 Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 7 minutes ago, Tears_Always said: A really hard day for me a friend who lives in another place lost her baby today. They did every thing they could to try and save him, but in the end his little body couldn't take anymore. Sat up with her last night and then had to be at a doctors appointment this afternoon we he actually passed. I feel terrible that I wasn't able to even virtually hold her hand, and wanted so badly to be able to hold them both. I just can't understand why so many of the innocent and pure go so soon. To top it off I have an infection in my ears and fluid which is blocking what little hearing I have left. I am sure my boss thinks I just wanted an extra week of vacation, even though that is not true. Got two new medications today, both of which may interact with my depression meds, just what I need when I am barely hanging on at this point. I am fast coming back to the point of questioning what is the point of anything. It feels like anything I allow myself to care about gets ripped away. Am sorry when it rains it pours 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tears_Always Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 7 minutes ago, Devlinkyla said: Grandma passed away sisters in the hospital agin lost a friend on here and missing my kids my son is 11 know and I didn’t get to see him for his birthday and haven’t got to see my kids in a year funeral on Wednesday sister won’t be there and you know what it’s just overwhelming Aw hun seems you keep getting that rain too. Very sorry about your Grandmother, it makes one realize just how short all of our times are. I am so sorry that your ex is still not letting you see the kids at all, I cannot imagine how that hurts. How did you loss a friend on here? If words were said give it time, if you were ghosted hugs, that is why I am so scared to open up at all. Hugs 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 It's a very painful miserable day. It's a very miserable life. Most of life is pain and suffering that you think you will never get through with a few good moments here and there. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watalife Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 Very itchy and irritated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 Feel really sad about markinthedark. I miss him already. His was the first name I looked for. I wonder if he really knew what he meant to us. He was there for me during one of the hardest times in my life and I will never forget that. I really hope he was OK. I'm sorry. To him, to me and to all of us here. It shouldn't have been so bad for him. It shouldn't be this bad for any of us. We should take better care of each other. His messages were so comforting to me. I loved the way he would share the every day details with us. It kind of made everything OK for some reason. I know he was going through hell but somehow his to do list made life seem manageable. He managed against the odds. He shaved in the face of adversity and I love him for that. I had a lot in common with him with a love of photography and cats. A love of language too I think. We both had a narcissistic mother. For all those who say that this is not real life, they are wrong. This is real. These people and the bonds here are real. The pain I feel now is real. It makes me sad to think that DF was down on the day he seemed to have left. I really hope that didn't influence his decision and that he was able to communicate with his best friends to the end. I want to do something in mark's memory but I need to think it through first. I'm going to light a candle for him tonight but I want to do something more substantial too. Lots of love everyone Nightjar 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherryapplez2020 Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 I have no words 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 I went through the same type of situation with mom. With mom and Mark I believed every single day that things would work out somehow because I had to believe that. This life is so impossible. I think about my cousin as well. Yesterday was the first anniversary of his death. He was someone like me way off didn't fit in anywhere even with family and at 35 he couldn't do it one more day. At 40 I know how he feels. It's been the most ridiculous 40 years in the history of earth. Nobody would be able to make sense of a second of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anxiousE Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 I'm feeling a downswing tonight. Maybe a workout will help, but I gotta finish cooking first and I'm getting hungry! Argh! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tears_Always Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 @Nightjar very well put. He was the 1st I looked for as well and so much more that you say. @sober4life like you I just kept hoping for something and for it to somehow work out. Of course it didn't it never does. @adamrparr I am sure you are hurting badly - hugs. Hugs to all. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anxiousE Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 Oh man, I got so panicked and upset after that last post (issues at home). I worked out and feel better. (Maybe getting angry was the push I needed to get back into heavy workouts. Eh hem) Still, I dunno how to fix things here. I'm very distraught! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Depressedgurl007 Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 It can really make me feel life is short. Yet that’s what I want. I don’t want a long life. Yet leaving this world would impact a many people. Feeling so lost. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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