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20YearsandCounting

How Do You Feel Right Now #11

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6 hours ago, ladysmurf said:

I feel hopeless most of the time too, but a little part of me makes me keep going ... 🙂

I guess anger and rage keep me going.  I'm not just alone.  The people in my life want me to fail.  

Edited by sober4life

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On 12/31/2019 at 10:28 AM, sober4life said:

I would love to know how to do that.  Most of the space in my mind seems to be filled with bitterness and regrets and thoughts of people that have done terrible things to me.

My mind is also filled with the same.   I speak about justice all day.  I am very bitter times ten.  Only kids make me smile.   

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17 hours ago, sober4life said:

I guess anger and rage keep me going.  I'm not just alone.  The people in my life want me to fail.  

try to ignore them. when i lost friends and relatives in the past because of my illness to be honest i cried. i failed like a failure because no one could accept my problems, or understand my illness. almost 90% of the people left and i was sad, and alone. but after a while i realized them leaving me was the best thing that ever happened to me. now i don't have to deal with their attitude and thinking that this illness is in my head, that I'm not trying hard enough etc...I don't have many people I can rely on , and I think it's better this way. They say you are lucky if you find a few good people/friends in this world. I have a few that I see from time to time because people are busy, (married, etc) but compared to those who I lost, I look back and realize they were not worth it. You can't make fun of people and bring them down, especially when you have no clue what they are going through.... You are a good person and I know someday you will meet some good friends who you can count on. I also had to find the hard way that sometimes strangers are better than family..

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Out of the blue I'm having major back pain. I fell in the shower 2 months ago and hurt my back then, but I thought it had healed itself. Now I can hardly move without sharp pains. I can hardly sleep. I'm seeing a chiropractor today. I really pray this can be healed. The thought of being incapacitated physically scares the hell out of me. 

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1 hour ago, RiverLight said:

Out of the blue I'm having major back pain. I fell in the shower 2 months ago and hurt my back then, but I thought it had healed itself. Now I can hardly move without sharp pains. I can hardly sleep. I'm seeing a chiropractor today. I really pray this can be healed. The thought of being incapacitated physically scares the hell out of me. 

I read somewhere that the human back hasn't completely evolved yet for upright bipedalism, even though we've supposedly been walking on our two feet for a million years or more. Who knows. But it certainly does seem to be a weak spot. Hope yours get better soon.

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Thanks, JD! 

Just saw the chiropractor. My back is out of alignment and I have to be treated twice per week. That's $80 per week on my back, out of pocket due to copay. I have no idea how I will afford this and will need to cut back expenses.... but it's necessary. I want to fix this... and be active again. Not in pain. 

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Happy! I'm back to school but it's not as bad as before, I'm gonna drop a class I didn't need whatsoever to reduce stress and what we're doing in school this semester is actually interesting (Though I'm a sucker for Shakespeare). I've been a lot more relaxed about my future and about what's ahead of me. Feels good to feel good.

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4 hours ago, John_in_SF said:

I'm having a caffeinated drink and feeling better on a simple xanthine high. 🤩

Just having coffee now.

 

53 minutes ago, samadhiSheol said:

Empty and disconnected.

 

Not quite as much at the moment.

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