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20YearsandCounting

How Do You Feel Right Now #11

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22 hours ago, PraiseBrownies said:

If you have crippling trust issues clap your hands 👏👏 If you're deathly afraid of being emotionally vulnerable to people that don't care to return that emotional love clap your hands 👏👏 If you're exhausted and you know it and honestly you're not even making efforts to hide it, if you're afraid to open up to people in fear of causing harm clap your hands 👏👏

Plus everything is boring.

Playing games, talking to my other friends, baking, drawing, writing, music, even the thought of sex or romance or intimacy or anything 

It sucks trying to distract myself from negative stuff when everything i do is boring and nothing is really fun anymore so it's not a distraction at all

Hard to match that song to the intended tune but boy, the lyrics certainly ring true.

My only entertainment now is binge watching old TV shows. I stay at home every night and do just that. Part of it is that I don't want to leave my cats all alone after I've been gone the entire day because of work already. They are the most sociable cats ever.

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My quality of life is garbage.  There is no meaning to any of this though.  I sit around and watch the stink bugs fly and crash into things all day.  That's all they do is hit into things until they one day land on their backs and they can't get up and they lay there and die.  I wonder what my purpose is but if that's their life what can I really expect from my life?

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7 hours ago, sober4life said:

My quality of life is garbage.  There is no meaning to any of this though.  I sit around and watch the stink bugs fly and crash into things all day.  That's all they do is hit into things until they one day land on their backs and they can't get up and they lay there and die.  I wonder what my purpose is but if that's their life what can I really expect from my life?

To be fair, you're worth a lot more than a stink bug. Think of all the people you've helped here, just by sharing your story, let alone the ones you have already gone out of your way to help!

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2 hours ago, SouthernSolitary said:

Surrounded by people but lonely

I get that feeling. It's why one of my favorite songs is the 'Donnie Darko' song, (or, to give it its real name, Mad World.) It's also one of the most miserable songs out there, but that's probably why I feel it fits.

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I am so angry because I was abused both physically and verbally and how hard I had to work.  Some medical practitioners blame me.  They refuse to understand what I have gone through.  I think I am finished with doctors and therapists.  

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2 hours ago, duck said:

I am so angry because I was abused both physically and verbally and how hard I had to work.  Some medical practitioners blame me.  They refuse to understand what I have gone through.  I think I am finished with doctors and therapists.  

I went through the same thing.  It happens with a lot of people that go through abuse.  They are blamed for everything and treated terribly by everyone.

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

I went through the same thing.  It happens with a lot of people that go through abuse.  They are blamed for everything and treated terribly by everyone.

Victim blaming is the worse thing to exist, like, ever. 

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..I feel a bit guilty about what I said about my parents on Christmas, well it's truth that living with them is harder as they age but at least I have shelter..there are also nice and funny moments. Sure I would prefer living with my friends or so..:)

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1 hour ago, PraiseBrownies said:

Victim blaming is the worse thing to exist, like, ever. 

A lot of the show Unbelievable on Netflix is how it is in real life.  Everyone treats you like you're the bad person or the enemy.  On that show though they had to give us hope like there are good people out there like the understanding therapist or the cops that fought until the end to get justice.  That doesn't happen.  What happens is someone like me trying to off myself from the pain over and over and then once again the help acting like yes we got her again get her dope her up lock her up and throw away the key.  The money train is back in town!

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2 hours ago, PraiseBrownies said:

Victim blaming is the worse thing to exist, like, ever. 

It seems to be the default setting for our society. Poor? Homeless? Well, that's your fault because you didn't try hard enough. That's the perspective many people have I think.

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