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I am so depressed and anxious lately, I can't escape these negative thoughts or panic feelings, I cant go out, I cant work, I can do nothing. I feel like a failure, like my life has been a waste and that I'm worthless, ugly, fat, disgusting, dumb, that I cant do it. These words circle round my head constantly all day, everyday. I cant get away. 

Ive started therapy because I've tried everything to help myself and not need therapy, but I do and I cant help myself, and I know I'm in a really bad place right now and there's nothing I can do to help myself out, I cant crawl out of this. And death feels like the only way. 

Im aware of how depressing and hopeless this message sounds, and I do not want to die. I want to get better and live a life of freedom. That feels impossible. 

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Hey Charlee,

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling so hopeless and sad. The weight of depression can feel almost unbearable sometimes. I'm glad you decided to get help for your depression, both in writing your problems here in the forums and seeking help in therapy. I hope your therapist is able lighten your burden and feel you with joy again.

And don't worry about your message being "too depressing" this is the depression forums, this is where we come together and discuss our illness and how to get better. Never apologize for being yourself here and letting out all your thoughts and feelings.

Also, I wanted to ask how you were able to tag your post with "depressed, anxious, depression, etc"? I don't know how to do it.

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Anyone reading my posts know I'm a big advocate of clever and powerful metaphors.

The deep, dark, dangerous depression cave is natural formation/RESOURCE!

Recognizing the metaphorical nature of depression is the first step to having a viable strategy for dealing with this extremely difficult and vexing problem.

We can find the way out of the depression cave and take charge of our psyches.

There is no need to be lost and trapped within oneself.

We are here to help each other find the way out.


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One thing I treasure is that this is the only space I've found in which I can just be myself, whatever that happens to be and how ever long it lasts.  If nothing else, just the simple act of writing about it sometimes helps me at least get some of it outta my head.

I'm not one to go all rainbows on people, but I'll point out from your OP that you're doing a couple things for yourself.  You're seeing a therapist AND you've found us.  Now that may not feel like much at the moment.  But I'd bet those things just might be enough some days for you to hang on.  At least that's my experience.

...and, btw, my kitty avatar - his name is Spot - says hello to your kitty avatar.

Edited by MarkintheDark
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Keep posting and reading. We are all in the same boat and can understand how you feel. I hope seeing a therapist helps. I have been with one for 2 years and with her help and meds, I am doing good today, still have times when I feel down, but able to cope with the things I have learned.

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On 8/27/2019 at 10:23 AM, BeyondWeary said:

Besides therapy, my psychiatrist and meds have been a big help. You might need a medication to help you through this time. See what your therapist thinks. Thanks for your honest sharing. I know how that feels. We are here for you.


Yeah Im on meds atm but feel like they aren't doing their job anymore, I went to the doc to see about changing them or stopping them altogether  but he wants to discuss with my therapist first. 

And thanks, this forum is fab and is there when you need it x

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