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Cent

I have to see my dad.

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It’s my cousins wedding on Saturday and I have to see my dad. I don’t really know how it’s gonna go, or how I’m gonna act toward him. My mom wants me to explain to my grandma exactly why I don’t want to stay at her house but I can’t gather the energy to do it. My dad lies to his family about me and my mom to try to make it seem as though it’s our fault, so my mom wants me to do this to stop that. I don’t really know what to do, I can’t reallt feel strongly enough either way and that’s frustrating. I mean, I think it would be a good thing to do to tell my grandma the truth, but I don’t know if she’d accept it that way coming from a kid. There’s no guarantee that it would change things for the  better, but it wouldn’t change for the worse either. Idk, I’ve been feeling really meh as of late and I don’t know why. 

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Posted (edited)

Hi @Cent   Just tell your grandma everthing that you want to tell, everything about how you feel. Whether she want to accept it or not, it is beyond our ability to control it because we cannot ask people to believe us. Whether they accept it or not, you hv tell her everything about how you feel. If she cannot understand or cannot accept it now, she will be able to understand it later, as time goes. 

You said your mum wants you to tell so that all these things that is happening will stop. We cannot afford to stop what is happening, unless people accept and understand our explaination. 

When you have explained to her about why you dont want to stay with her, that means you have tried to explain. But explain in nice way so that she dont get hurt. I know you are hurting too. I told my mum i hv job offer in the city in another state. I make that as an excuse to run away from her (I really got the job). I was trying not to hurt her. I cannot say I cant stay with her because that will make her upset. Im scared of my mum.

With your dad, you can say Hi Dad and smile. If he respond well, you can continue  talking like How are  you. If his respond is cold to you, you just smile and go, hang around with other relatives. You already greeted him to show that you are his son (his family).  In my family, any child who ignore their parents and other family members, that child is a bad child and when they die they will go to hell. 

I hope you keep strong. We are here with you.

Edited by Camellia

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Hi Cent,

     I just read your post but am a little confused about the situation you are describing.  Perhaps you described it in detail in previous posts and I have just forgotten the details.  My memory is not so good these days.   I will re-read some of your previous posts to try to get some background.  In any case, I hope things turn out for the best for you during that period during your cousins wedding.  The whole situation sounds very stressful to me.  I wish I could offer you some advice about what you are pondering but I feel I am missing something in the details.  So sorry.  Wish you didn't have to go through this whole situation!   - epictetus

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