Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I’m fairly new to this forum, and I wanted to talk about how completely debilitating it is working for customer service/food service jobs. I’ve never had much luck when it’s come to jobs in the past. That’s where the PTS comes into play. All my past occurrences at these jobs have “shaped” me into the person I am today. At this new job I work for customer service at a local supermarket, it’s a food service job. Not exactly my first choice, and to be quite honest I felt like a fraud when I was offered the job and after when I was hired. A little back story on me- I have been dealing with depression my entire life, and anxiety for half of it. Social anxiety has also come into play which has stemmed from my anxiety. It is very stressful working wit these illnesses. And let’s be real here, how many of us had called out sick just to aid our mental health state?- I bet the lot of you. I dread going to work everyday. I hate being around people period. Especially those who I see as “superior” or of a higher class than me. I never talk to anyone at work, only my boyfriend who works at the same place. I detest socializing and chatting about various things. I never know what to say or how to say it. I get so nervous when it comes to customers. I never make eye contact and I never “small talk” with them. I find it tedious to do so. I’ve always been looked down on with every job I’ve done. And I always feel like my mental illness are to blame. I used to be a very social person in the past, but somehow that was stripped from me a long time ago. Now I’m just complacent, like a zombie or a statue that just stands there waiting for my shift to end, or break time. These things are very rooted in my past. The depression that I felt as a child, to not being able to fit in or be accepted in school to being a burden and a disaster for my family to deal with. I’ve also dealt with ADHD as a child and it was not easy for me to focus on one task at hand. Nowadays I’ve learned to control that. I came to this forum to see if anyone can relate- however I’m not looking for anyone to berate me or belittle me with their own advice and “therapy” trust me, I’ve been through enough therapy sessions to last me a lifetime. I don’t need that. What I need is support. Understanding. 

I am a 32 yr old woman who lives in her grandmothers attic.I have no children, only cats. I am not married or engaged. I have no car. My life is bleak. Dark. If this is something you can relate to, great if not I wish I had your life. 

I’m  cold, bitter, miserable, and very depressed and filled with anxiety, and I don’t even know why I’m working when my illnesses are very hard to deal with. Is it enough to need to survive but to put yourself through hell to do so? 

If you can relate to this please comment or share your thoughts. I don’t like interacting with others but when it comes to not being alienated I feel more comfortable. 

Thank you for letting me share my darkest thoughts and my story.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome new friend to our forum family.

We all have unique perspectives on depression and anxiety.

I take note of your use of the "darkest thoughts" description of depression .

I invoke a deep, dark, dangerous cave metaphor to strategize my experience with depression.

I see depression as a natural formation/resource.

I constantly try to "anchor" myself outside the depression abyss .

I have learned how powerful and clever metaphors can be helpful and therapeutic.

I hope your experience with us will be beneficial.

Keep posting your concerns and check out some other posts for support and meaningful insights.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome! Glad that you reached out and found us. I can relate to your story. I work a job that drains me each week and I need the whole weekend to recover. Just normal stuff is hard to do like brushing and flossing. I'm on medication which helps some but I still have a lot of anxiety. I can understand how hard it is to live with. Hang in there with us. You are not alone.

BW

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can definitely relate to what you wrote about your life, FakeHappy86.  Unfortunately I am suffering a painful bout of tendinitis in my hands right now and cannot type for long.  I do hope you get many responses to your post.  My heart goes out to you!  - epictetus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

Thanks for sharing your story. I can definitely relate to that. But, I saw you mentioned you have two cats. Then, why don’t you take advantage of the situation. Start actively engaging in playtime with your cat. 

I am sure all those mood swings or depression from an extended period of inactivity will just fade away. I personally walk cat and relieve all my worries just like that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi and welcome. We're glad that you joined us and found the the energy to write so meaningfully and honestly about your struggles.

I can relate to the hardships of carrying on with life whilst coping with the tag-team of depression anxiety. That combination consumes so much of my energy and attention, at times I don't have any in reserve for myself or for other people - relationships and their complexities.

On 7/17/2019 at 9:15 AM, FakeHappy86 said:

I don’t even know why I’m working when my illnesses are very hard to deal with. Is it enough to need to survive but to put yourself through hell to do so? 

I think it's to your credit that you're working in spite of how hard it is to endure each day. While it's awful to toil at a job when symptoms are raging (as yours appear to be), I believe removing oneself from that contributes to a worsening of one's mental health, the risks increases. In my experience isolation and having too much time to think can lead to an even darker place, you probably know what I mean. 

I feel for your suffering and you have my support. I hope writing a little about it has given you some peace, if only for a short while. We're here to listen when you're ready to share some more. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have similar problems. There just aren't many jobs in my town that I can do.


I fail every interview. The only jobs I've ever been able to get are through my employment agency. I've made things difficult for them because I refuse to do any jobs where I have to deal with the public like customer service or secretarial. I just can't deal with people well. I end up pissing people off without trying to. So as a consequence, I end up with dead-end jobs in store rooms or filing cabinets.

I've been unemployed now for over a year and I'm not sure I'm any better off. Doing nothing is stressful somehow. Being isolated and speaking to no one for 6 days a week has given me weird problems with my speech and voice. I've been gaining weight like crazy.

I know it's extremely difficult to find the motivation to do so, but maybe you should start applying for other jobs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Announcements

×
×
  • Create New...