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Hi. Right first time doing this sort of thing so let's see if it helps. 

Been struggling for some time and in typical Male fashion I dont like to talk about it. My wife is helping but it's not fair on her we have a young child and another one on the way so its important I try to sort it. I dont sleep lucky if I can muster an hour or two a night and even that's it's broken up. Feel lost and disinterested in everything all the time. When the doctors they give me some sleeping tables but they dont seem to help a great deal. Got signed off work but was so afraid to talk to my boss about it I just ended up coming in to work( my boss is actually a great guy and I know he would only try and help) my wife said if I'm not willing to help myself then why should she witch is right tbh if I cant even do that why should she stay and help but that's just sent my head off in a whole new world of shit. I now try and act normal round her cos I'm worried even more so. I feel lost and as if I'm no longer here I'm not me anymore. Where do I go from here. 

Dose time off help I just dont know but sitting in work like a zombie reading dont **** yourself forums maybe I should not be here. 

Anyway sorry to bore you all but hey ho. 

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hie Aizen

i'm sorry you are going through this, i can understand how it must feel not being able to talk about whats on your mind. i couldn't talk to my family or friends about what i was going through, partly because i felt ashamed, like i was weak and a failure. i was also afraid of being judged, or getting negative feedback from people i was close to, people i saw all the time. so i started posting in online forums. what i found was that i didn't always get advice i could implement in my life but i got people to listen, people who could relate, i basically just had someone to talk to, people who i didn't know, who would be able to identify me in the street and judge me. it was a safe place to talk about my feelings without fear of hurting those closest to me or burdening them. i felt heard and i got stuff off my chest, and this eased the pressure i felt inside me and it helped me get by a little easier.

i'm sorry i don't have a grand piece of advice but like everybody here, i am willing to listen, judgment free. because your feelings are valid and you deserve to be heard

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@Aizen,

Welcome to the forums. Coz is right. This is a safe, non-judgmental place to to talk about what is going on, how depression is affecting you and to find others who are going through the same thing. Post as much as you feel comfortable with, read other posts through out the site. You may find something that will help. The friends that I have here know more about me than my family. Here no one tells me to get over myself, or stop feeling sorry for yourself or other words that only hurt not help.

I'm sorry you are going through and hope you can peace in your life.

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Welcome Aizen! Glad you reached out to us. That is a big step in getting the help you need. Many of us find a therapist and possibly a psychiatrist to be helpful with depression. Maybe that is something you could try. I know it has helped me a lot.

There is also a book called The Depression Cure that has some helpful ideas. Hope you keep coming back, reading, and posting. You are not alone in this and you matter to us here.

BW

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Thanks for the responses guys did not expect much but guess that's just the way I feel about most things but really thanks even just to talk an know people are there is always a good thing. 

Did anyone take time off work with there problems cos it really is causing abit of a rift between me and my wife she feels I'm not taking it seriously and I just have no I idea how to talk to people hard enough going the doctors about it let along work who I see 6days aweek. 

Cheers 

Aizen 

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It might be a good idea to see what your doctor has to say about taking time off work. A therapist can also be a big help with this. I haven't taken any time off my job but I have taken some metal health days when I need them.

BW

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Hi @Aizen, glad you found us. 

Taking time away from work? If the work stress and demands are contributing to the stress, anxiety and possibly depression you're experiencing. On the other hand, if being productive at work is crucial to your wellbeing/balance such as they ar now, what will replace that?

You admitted you have trouble taking about problems you have (maybe asking for help, too)? I know exactly what you mean, it's the most difficult step towards getting better. And nobody but you can tell you you're ready, certainly took me years to get to that point. But as you've found us here and reached out maybe that signals something. 

One last bit. Getting help is crucial; these problems don't just go away on their own and thinking about them with the same thoughts won't fix them either. You dont have to fix this yourself, you dont need to come up with all the answers either. Is the idea of asking for help with these problems something you'd consider?

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Hi Aizen,

     I was unable to respond to your post on Monday because I became ill.  How are you doing today.   You mentioned that your doctors gave you some sleeping medication.  Did they also test you for depression?  Maybe I misunderstood your post.  If so, I am sorry.   - epictetus

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No but they did not test for that but that's part of my sick note from work was depression and me being the coward I am did not use it cos the thought of talking to my boss makes me want to curl up and die. I feel burnt out and feel work is defo a mitigating factor to this. Really at the end of my rope with it all now. Only so many time I can cancel plans avoid my friend and family. Well doctor said come see them again in two week so that's today. Hopefully give me something and the therapist I've signed up for all help ah. 

Anyways sorry to bore you all and thanks for the reply 

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@Aizen You are not boring anyone here. We have all been where you are at right now (and some of us are still fighting the pain). I see a therapist and my medical doctor prescribes the meds I take. The therapist will most likely have you fill out a Patient Health Questionnaire.  I do take off days when I feel very stressed. This summer I plan on taking off at least one day a week, just to get away from the stressors at work. But I do not and will not tell my employer why. I work in a childcare center and I don't then to think I cannot do my job.

Anytime you need to talk, please post. We are here to support one another.

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