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AsianMan

Loner and Social Outcast

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I am in my late 30's. My father has always been (and still is) verbally and emotionally abusive so I have a lot of anger/rage issues. For as long as I can remember, my peers have ostracized me and caused me to become a social outcast. For most of my life, I have been a loner. Even deeply religious Christians ostracize me and condemn me. I don't know how I can improve my social situation. I don't know how I can improve my life.

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Hi and welcome to the forums. It sounds like you haven't found a place where you feel that you belong yet, I hope this community will be one.

I don't share all your unique experiences but I do live with clinical depression and anxiety disorder, perhaps you can relate to one or both. If so, then you're among peers who are able to and willing to accept that part of you. 

I don't know whether anybody in your life has ever told you - or whether you believe it - that you're acceptable as you are.

Everybody here has known rejection, isolation and how painfully deep that cuts. This community is a safe space in which we belong, where we can try and look out for one another, share experiences and talents for living. Perhaps it's where you can begin a different direction than what's been shown to you. 

 

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Welcome to DF.  I think you will find the forums a safe place.  I encourage you to keep on posting about what your life is like right now. 

It must be very difficult to experience being a social outcast.  No one should experience that. 

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12 hours ago, AsianMan said:

I am in my late 30's. My father has always been (and still is) verbally and emotionally abusive so I have a lot of anger/rage issues. For as long as I can remember, my peers have ostracized me and caused me to become a social outcast. For most of my life, I have been a loner. Even deeply religious Christians ostracize me and condemn me. I don't know how I can improve my social situation. I don't know how I can improve my life.

Well, you have come to the right place to begin to repair your social situation.  The more you post and the more

positive feed back you receive the more confidence  you will become to open up with others on here . I hope that

your situation begins to change for the best my friend,  If you ever want to talk you can PM me anytime for

a conversation.

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13 hours ago, Atra said:

Atra, thank you for your reply. No matter what my father and other people tell me, I need to learn to believe that I am acceptable just as I am

Hi and welcome to the forums. It sounds like you haven't found a place where you feel that you belong yet, I hope this community will be one.

I don't share all your unique experiences but I do live with clinical depression and anxiety disorder, perhaps you can relate to one or both. If so, then you're among peers who are able to and willing to accept that part of you. 

I don't know whether anybody in your life has ever told you - or whether you believe it - that you're acceptable as you are.

Everybody here has known rejection, isolation and how painfully deep that cuts. This community is a safe space in which we belong, where we can try and look out for one another, share experiences and talents for living. Perhaps it's where you can begin a different direction than what's been shown to you. 

 

 

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I am so sorry that you are suffering, AsianMan.

So many of the things you write about are things I can relate to in own personal life, so my heart really goes out to you. 

Wish I had some great advice, but sadly I am not feeling very well today and my mind is not clear. 

I do want to thank you for what you posted.  It really helps me and will help so many people from all over the world who use these Forums.  Many people have told me that posts like the one you wrote have actually saved their lives.  So I and we are so lucky to meet you and we are very grateful to you from sharing your situation ! ! !    - epictetus

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54 minutes ago, Epictetus said:

I am so sorry that you are suffering, AsianMan.

So many of the things you write about are things I can relate to in own personal life, so my heart really goes out to you. 

Wish I had some great advice, but sadly I am not feeling very well today and my mind is not clear. 

I do want to thank you for what you posted.  It really helps me and will help so many people from all over the world who use these Forums.  Many people have told me that posts like the one you wrote have actually saved their lives.  So I and we are so lucky to meet you and we are very grateful to you from sharing your situation ! ! !    - epictetus

Epictetus, thank you so much for your encouraging words

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8 hours ago, Floor2017 said:

Well, you have come to the right place to begin to repair your social situation.  The more you post and the more

positive feed back you receive the more confidence  you will become to open up with others on here . I hope that

your situation begins to change for the best my friend,  If you ever want to talk you can PM me anytime for

a conversation.

Floor2017, thank you so much for your encouraging words

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9 hours ago, Tim 52 said:

Welcome to DF.  I think you will find the forums a safe place.  I encourage you to keep on posting about what your life is like right now. 

It must be very difficult to experience being a social outcast.  No one should experience that. 

Tim 52, thank you so much for your compassionate words

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8 hours ago, AsianMan said:

Atra, thank you for your reply. No matter what my father and other people tell me, I need to learn to believe that I am acceptable just as I am

You're welcome and learning to believe you're acceptable is the right approach. It is a process that takes as much time as you need but I'm confident that you can get there if you're determined to.

Working with negative thoughts in small, manageable steps has helped me get a little further along:

I am _______ [all the negative labels I've internalized automatically come to mind]

I can be _____ but I can also be _____ [I begin to make space for positive qualities]

I am now realizing that I am _____ even though sometimes I can be ______ [I'm starting to turn my mind away from automatic negative thoughts about myself]

 

 

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