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emptyman

Empty but agitated, then racing thoughts but no energy

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***POTENTIAL TRIGGER*** 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello,

I'm not sure where to post this or if there has already been a thread like that, but I could not find one. Also not sure if the "potential trigger" is needed in this case - please correct me if I'm wrong.

I could not find better words for describing the state in the title, so let me clarify that.

I would say both of these feature a mismatch between the state of my mind and the state of my body.

The first state is when my mind seems empty, but my body is agitated, so it ends up walking around, trying to get rid of the agitation (akathisia?). It feels quite nasty.

The second state is when my thoughts are racing, but I simply have no energy. It ends up trying to pick up some activities, but none of them lasts too long, because I cannot focus. It doesn't matter whether an activity requires a "completion", is productive or not - even the activities meant to pass the time are being abandoned very quickly.

Sometimes there also moments when my state of mind matches the state of my body. I would say the times with racing thoughts and agitation at the same time are the most "dangerous", while I feel "bad but safe" when my mind is empty just as my body has no energy. But whether it's the "empty akathisia" or the "racing without energy" mentioned earlier - they make me feel very unsafe as well - they bring ideation of seriously hurting myself or suicide ("luckily" I'm still afraid of even trying). It's like I feel so off that I want to "get out" of my own body.

 

I still manage to survive these things somehow, but if anyone has any idea about how to get rid of that when it comes back instead of just "waiting for the end", I would really appreciate any advice. I'm free from those feelings right now, which is why I even managed to post this, nevertheless I would rather be prepared, because it's just a matter of time when they occur again.

 

Best regards,

emptyman

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Well when we feel emptiness and agitation it's because our mind wants us to go out and find something to fill the emptiness.  Racing thoughts with no energy happens sometimes.  A lot of people have anxiety and depression at the same time.  We are very depressed with no energy to do anything and our mind tortures us the whole time.

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emptyman

Your description is thorough.  I can picture the different states that you go through and none of them sound pleasant.  To take just one example, it can be very difficult to calm agitation.  The body just doesn't want to slow down.  Sometimes deep breathing helps.  

Are you on any medications?  Medications aren't the full answer but they can help. 

Tim 

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@sober4life,

I didn't intend to sound any "unique" about that and I do know other people suffer, and that there is a large number of people who suffer much more than I do. I often get paranoid and misunterstand what other people say - just ignore my answer if I just did that.

@Tim 52,

Thank you for answering. I'm on quite a few medications. 2 antipsychotics (olanzapine, aripiprazole), 1 antidepressant (sertraline) and even a mood stabilizer (although not prescribed for this purpose - I got it from a neurologist as I had a few seizures in the past - it's also an anti-seizure medication). I'm not sure what else could be done about that. In the past one of my doctors suggested prescribing me some anxiolytics to use just in case of feeling like that. I refused, as I was very afraid of becoming addicted to them or misusing them generally.

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emptyman:

I take an anxiolytic and have not misused or become addicted.  They can really help if used properly.  Though I respect your decision. 

Tim 

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