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Jennifermk32

Coming out of a Major Depression Episode

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I'd suggest doing as you're able.  You're also still recovering from a medical issue, a double whammy, if you will.  And you're fortunate to have support, familial and professional, iirc.

There might be tasks you can resume.  Almost more importantly for me, I felt more progress when I was gradually able to resume pleasurable activities such as my photography.  Seemed it was my shortcut to other stuff.

My temptation has been to overdo.  I'm so stubborn and impatient to be "normal" again that it's a lesson I often ignore.  If any consolation, I could then get on DF and gripe about it!

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You are absolutely right! The word I use most is frustrated.  I am frustrated I cant just snap out of it or be my normal self. After being in bed over a month I am very weak and basically having a mental breakdown I guess I should not be so hard on myself. 

I have gotten out of bed, been showing, doing a little laundry, trying to eat better, and stay calm. 

I am supposed to go to a baptism 2hrs away next Saturday and I am the Godparent.  It is stressing me out that I may not be ready in time. I did talk to the parents and they will have someone stand in if needed but that breaks my heart too. 

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Congrats on being a godparent!  The parent's sound pretty responsive and flexible.  Someone else is driving, yes?  When I've had advanced notice, fwiw, I've given myself more leeway in preparation.  That is, instead of limiting activity the day prior, I take two days.  Oh, and then I give myself recovery time...a term I sometimes despise.  My reaction has sometimes been, "This is [effin'] ridiculous!"  Well, yeah, but I know intuitively I'll probably be worse off otherwise.

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They are being very kind given the situation.  They know I am struggling and working my way back to normal.  I am not driving thank God! I somehow need to figure out how to get moving mow that my health is improving.  

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I am glad to here you are recovering as i am as well after 6 months of a major depression, almost did not make it this time. Take your time remember you have been sick, you havr to do as much asnyou are comfortable with and no more, and give your self the freedom to change your mind if you want.  Let someone else do the driving until you feel ok with it.  You will feel normal again but this takes time, remembef to breathe, go outside and try to relax, and let us know how your getting along, remember your not alone....

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They are being very kind given the situation.  They know I am struggling and working my way back to normal.  I am not driving thank God! I somehow need to figure out how to get moving mow that my health is improving.  

 

It helps knowing I am not alone! ❤

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Jennifermk32

Please be gentle with yourself.  Major depression is so very tough.  If one hasn't suffered from it, it is hard to describe.  I'd keep going at the pace that feels right for you.   

 

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So glad to hear you're coming out of a major depression. All those feelings are normal and it will just take time and you must be patient. I can't count how many times I've said those words that I just want to be happy again. Do just take it one day at a time and don't analyze so much those feelings they will come and they will go. I wish all the best for you my friend

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Thanks everyone! It is so freaking hard. I have not had an episode like this ever. After several extremely stressful months ( my therapy dog died, husbands grandpa passed, dealing with a narcissistic sister in law, mom having a hip replacement, my brother's wife leaving him, mother in law diagnosed with cancer, financial issues) plus getting super sick on top of all that I literally just snapped. 

So at therapy yesterday we made a plan to take things slow integrating back into my normal life. Of course I am not patient! He also said I had to do no contact with my brother and sister in law. I had to block them on social media and my phone right there in the office. I know it's for the best but hard to accept.  They really hurt me and my husband along with his whole family so I have to try this. 

Like I said things have been rough....when it rains it pours

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Well I was finally feeling myself....at least for a few days. Now I am back to being scared and wanting to hide in bed. Part of me thinks it is because of the travel involved this Saturday for the baptism where I am a godparent. I just dont think I am ready for that since I am still struggling with my normal routine and daily life. It is completely breaking my heart that I know I am.not ready for that. I feel like I am going backwards again. What do I do?

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Oh Jennifer, you have been dealing with such difficult things.  And now, decision time regarding the baptism.  Recovering from severe depression is difficult and always, always takes more time than we want.  I know because I'm in the middle of a slow, slow recovery.  I just cut half the back yard grass and consider that a victory of sorts. 

i wish I had the definite answer as to how and what to decide about the baptism.  The fact that it involves travel and has been on your mind for some time makes me wonder if taking care of yourself would mean not going to the baptism.  As you recover you will have several other opportunities to have a relationship with this child. 

How can we help you?

 

 

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I know in my heart the best thing for me would be to stay home and continue trying to make progress one little chore at a time but I really want to be there. I know I am running out of time so my depression and anxiety are running wild. I am embarrassed that I cannot handle something that should be simple. I feel like I am a huge failure. 

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On 5/8/2019 at 12:47 PM, Jennifermk32 said:

So I am starting to come out if a major depression episode and feel lost. I am not sure where to start to get my life back. I want to get back into my routine but I feel weak and heavy, scared, and unsure. Is this normal? I just want to be happy again! 

This is completely normal for me. Any progress you make is still progress. Take the time you need and give yourself credit for the things you are able to accomplish instead of being hard on yourself with the things that are taking more time to get back to. Having setbacks along the way is normal too, just keep moving in the right direction. I know it's cliche, but one step at a time. 

 

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I talked with my parents tonight and we are taking 2 cars in case I need to come back my dad has volunteered to bring me home since my husband is the godfather. So we have a contingency plan if I decide to go. My husband is trying to get me to just take things day by day and moment to moment.  If I feel good enough to try on Saturday then great, if not it will be ok. I can do this and keep fighting!

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On 5/9/2019 at 5:47 AM, Jennifermk32 said:

So I am starting to come out if a major depression episode and feel lost. I am not sure where to start to get my life back. I want to get back into my routine but I feel weak and heavy, scared, and unsure. Is this normal? I just want to be happy again! 

This is common after an episode. Well done on getting through the baptisim! I hope you keep recovering from here!

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