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candy22

Severe Depression after being “ghosted” by boyfriend

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I was with my boyfriend for several months. But, a few weeks ago, he “ghosted” me and blocked me from everything. (Ghosting is a term in the dating world that means a person disappears and stops all means of communication with a person they are dating or in a relationship with.) I remember my last conversation with him. I asked him was something wrong and he said it wasn’t and that he would call me back. He never did. I tried to reach out but no reply. This has caused me to fall into a deep, deep depression. I’m so devastated.  I feel like I’m losing my mind. I go to therapy but I still feel like the pain of this is too unbearable. 

Edited by candy22

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Hi Candy,

     I am so sorry that you are being forced into such an ordeal.  It is heartbreaking.  I hope your boyfriend will realize what a treasure you are and how lucky he was when he was with you.  I hope you will get back together soon!  

    I wish I had words of comfort but words sometimes are just not enough to take away the kind of pain you describe.  At least that has been my own personal experience.  You deserve a good life, Candy, one where you can have some peace, security and joy of living ! ! !   - epictetus

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On 5/3/2019 at 1:13 AM, Epictetus said:

Hi Candy,

     I am so sorry that you are being forced into such an ordeal.  It is heartbreaking.  I hope your boyfriend will realize what a treasure you are and how lucky he was when he was with you.  I hope you will get back together soon!  

    I wish I had words of comfort but words sometimes are just not enough to take away the kind of pain you describe.  At least that has been my own personal experience.  You deserve a good life, Candy, one where you can have some peace, security and joy of living ! ! !   - epictetus

Thanks for your words of encouragement. I appreciate your response so much. I don’t know what the future holds for me but like you said I deserve a good life. Yes, I believe one day he will realize I am a good woman but by that time I may have moved on.

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Hi Candy22 

I feel very sorry for what you have to go through. I know it is extremely painful when someone you love just disappear for no real reason. It also happened to me. I was with a guy for about 5 years and engaged. When suddenly one day he just left my house and never returned. That was 14 years ago. We had a conversation about a month after he left and he told me he has a new girlfriend. They are now married and have 3 children. I don't know how happy they are because if he could do that to me then he can do that to her. I think I forgave him but I live with this memory and feeling of betrayal and loss every day.

I know every persons situation is different but I can relate to what you feel. Just know that there are many many many people who went through the same experience as you and that you are not the only one who has this hurt inside your heart. I hope this helps you. 

And I hope you can find peace and love from other things and people in life.

Stay strong.

 

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Ghosting your partner of several months lacks common decency and respect.  It is cowardly.  This is the behaviour of someone who will do a lot to avoid conflict.  This is the behaviour of someone who will have trouble maintaining healthy relationships because they will not work to resolve problems, they will ignore them and pretend they aren't there which, trust me, doesn't work in the long run.

At the end of the day, he left mostly because of his issues.  I'm sure you both have your faults, but if he couldn't say to your face "I'm sorry, but this isn't working for me", then I can't help but wonder how good a partner he would've been if he stayed.

Just trying to be the voice of reason here.  I know the heart often doesn't care about reason, but maybe if you remind yourself that this behaviour says a lot more about him than it says about you, you can change the tune of your mental track and move on.

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