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4 hours ago, JD4010 said:

Yes, a "colorful experience". 🙂

I've been wanting to make a road trip for the longest time...4 years in a row now...but I keep running out of dough.

exactly the same here my friend.  Maybe we should hitchhike or jump on top of a train.

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For some reason this is what came into my head:

I gotta be cool, relax, get hip
And get on my track's
Take a back seat, hitch-hike
And take a long ride on my motorbike

When I was younger there was nothing better than the feeling of heading down the road with a destination in mind - but no fixed schedule and no one to be accountable to. It has been a long time since I had that feeling and I think I need to taste it again. 

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The Meaning of It All

 

A jolt jars abruptly from a restless trance,

Awareness of fear mauls in the morning,

There is no gradual setting in, as nausea returns immediately,

He wonders how he can distract from it today,

As the dismal sameness of yesterday comes back inevitably,

A pushing slowly through the slough of despond,

Picks up toothpaste, slowly, now shower, shoes, coffee, phone, car, interstate, anxiety, office,

Days filled with work, so lucky if a smile,

Breathing stunted, strained as though hands constrict the lungs,

Now it's 7:00, office empty, not enough done,

Going home to an efficiency he can't afford,

Acid permeates from raw, frayed relationships, until it is too late,

He tries to drown it out by disengaging into the idiot screen to fall unconscious, but sleep doesn't come

To repeat, ad nauseum in a surling, sucking eddy of despair, then death

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14 hours ago, JessiesMom said:

For some reason this is what came into my head:

I gotta be cool, relax, get hip
And get on my track's
Take a back seat, hitch-hike
And take a long ride on my motorbike

When I was younger there was nothing better than the feeling of heading down the road with a destination in mind - but no fixed schedule and no one to be accountable to. It has been a long time since I had that feeling and I think I need to taste it again. 

I couldn't place it, so looked it up.  Queen, Crazy Little Thing Called Love.

what a band.  I listen to some of their songs, especially bohemian rhapsody (and under pressure with Bowie) with my kids.  Both, to me are among the greatest rock songs ever written.  What do you even compare Bohemian Rhapsody to?  I tried and only came up with The Doors' The End?   Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven or back further, American Pie?  And none of these are very comparable.  

Amazing that this is what popular rock music used to produce.

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I can't seem to wake up today.  I feel like I'm in a fog and partially sedated.
Already had 1 cup of coffee; going to go info another momentarily.  Almost stayed home from work to sleep.
I'm not sleeping well at night, but today is just another level of fatigue where I'm right on the edge of falling asleep, and it doesn't feel like it's waning.  Yuck.

On a completely unrelated note, I just read this psych today article about a bacteria found in dirt that scientists have discovered (in mice so far) greatly reduces stress and inflammation of the cells.  they called it a vaccine for stress.  Wouldn't that be something?  

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3 hours ago, gandolfication said:

On a completely unrelated note, I just read this psych today article about a bacteria found in dirt that scientists have discovered (in mice so far) greatly reduces stress and inflammation of the cells.  they called it a vaccine for stress.  Wouldn't that be something?  

I want some.

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6 hours ago, JessiesMom said:
10 hours ago, gandolfication said:

On a completely unrelated note, I just read this psych today article about a bacteria found in dirt that scientists have discovered (in mice so far) greatly reduces stress and inflammation of the cells.  they called it a vaccine for stress.  Wouldn't that be something?  

I want some.

Next in line!

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12 hours ago, nojoy said:

Next in line!

Right?
I was reading this and talking with a friend, wondering aloud, how something like this would change the human experience.
They don't know yet what if any kind of downsides it would have, but compared it speculatively to benzodiazepines.  

Anyway, when they start making bacteria from dirt into a stress and inflammation reducer, I want in on that probably regardless, unless it means I'm wandering through the day like a zombie.  Actually, maybe even then.

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Ego

I'm speaking on a panel this afternoon about electronic legal research at one of my old employers, LexisNexis (a legal research and business intelligence company headquartered here), where I worked twice.   There will probably be 100-150 people in the auditorium and then they live cast it to their offices around the world.  So I'm feeling all self-conscious and nervous and anxious more than usual today even though there's absolutely no reason because I'll be speaking about their legal research platform which I've been using for half of my career, and probably know how to use in practice about as well as anyone.

But it has me thinking about all this dissolution of ego stuff and how welcome and lovely I think that would be and wondering if it can be obtained or simulated by means short of a DMT trip or becoming a Buddhist monk and spending one's entire life in a monastery or some such ascetic life.

It just reinforced for me how loathsome and obnoxious it is to not be able to distance myself from this thing of ego that so offends and weighs down the soul.  And what a basketcase I am these days in terms of not being grounded in something like 'absolute truth' and community of believers.  

If you watch some of theses psychedelic trip recaps on YouTube, particularly the 'DMT trip tails,' these psychonauts' experience is quite amazing and beautiful, and remarkably consistent.  They all seem to vividly experience a separation from body and self, and along the way, a disintegration of the ego, and a one-ness with the nature of the universe and love.  Many come back newly impressed with a sense not only that all people and things are meaningfully connected, but that love undergirds it all as the most fundamental stuff that makes up all things...much in the way that modern information theory currently shows that information is the most fundamental stuff in the universe making up all things (the way we used to think it was atoms and particles of matter and energy).  They call DMT the "spirit molecule" because people so universally have an indelible experience of more or less nirvana, the mystical, the spiritual sense, starting with the out of body, non-corporeal journey.

Those who've tried it, often talk about how it was the most real experience of their lives, and they continue to feel that way months and years later.  Michael Pollan, the Harvard prof and author of the book on psychedelics I'm reading asked a friend about her DMT experience, wasn't it just as likely that the spiritual sensation of enlightenment was produced by the chemical agent of the compound?  And of course this misses the point of what constitutes a 'real' experience.  It's no less real than experiencing reality while having sugar or caffeine in one's system. 

Most people, although they travel through a waiting room and into what they describe as hyperspace, and see colors, and light, and fractals, and even beings, eschew the description as hallucinations, rather trying to describe it in terms of scales temporarily coming off of the third eye (the pineal gland), and temporarily being able to peer into a broader spectrum of reality.  Some posit that because DMT molecules are produced within the brain and body already (but in much smaller concentrations), that this is exactly what is happening - by flooding the system with higher concentrations, people actually are seeing more of reality as it actually is, and ... [this is my supposition], perhaps it is how we were and maybe still are destined to ultimately evolve to do.  It's a nice and comforting dogma to me.

Anyway, it's therapeutic in a way, just watching and taking in these experiences of others.  Though I'm plotting with a friend to follow suit.  Everything right now feels pathetically contingent on having money and security to be able to do anything other than work, and try to find higher paying work at that.  It's a form of modified enslavement.  And conversely, it seems the more I try to diminish my own ego, the more it simply pops up in another place, stronger than ever.

It seems to me that if ego diminishes, anxiety diminishes.  In any case, I can't think of a better kind of experience or goal out there while on this mortal coil.

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On 6/15/2019 at 1:12 AM, JessiesMom said:

For some reason this is what came into my head:

I gotta be cool, relax, get hip
And get on my track's
Take a back seat, hitch-hike
And take a long ride on my motorbike

When I was younger there was nothing better than the feeling of heading down the road with a destination in mind - but no fixed schedule and no one to be accountable to. It has been a long time since I had that feeling and I think I need to taste it again. 

That's what I want to do more than anything. I feel so nailed down right now. I can't budge.

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33 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

That's what I want to do more than anything. I feel so nailed down right now. I can't budge.

Oh me too. I keep saying that I need a vacation, but I have no place to go - so I keep going to work. Things have changed this summer since no one is going to boy scout camp or on high adventure. That was always my break, since my husband went with the boy in question and my daughter would go up to the cabin with my folks. This year is different. My eldest is working full time. My middle needs to find a job. And my youngest is hanging around the house. 

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20 hours ago, JD4010 said:

@gandolficationI'm running to a meeting, but I wanted to thank you for reminding me of DMT. I need to do more research myself.

Let me know when you do get back to reading/watching up on it.  I find a lot of the YouTube "trip tails" quite enjoyable (and funny) to watch.  People's egos just dissolve, and they somehow connect to a source of love and connection that defies explanation.  Some psychonauts contend or believe that it is a plant-chemical gateway to another dimension of reality that is real.  In fact actually more real than the limited spectrum we normally see.  I share this fantastic belief.  There's at least a little bit of circumstantial logical sense to it (I think) in that our bodies produce DMT naturally...certain things people do, including kundalini yoga, and holotropic breathing supposedly can simulate DMT and L S D experiences respectively.  That's fine, but I'd rather experience (what I think must be) the more complete affect.

Anyway, people seem to get a real sense of enlightenment (peace) about things from it.  A feeling of the divine regardless of belief (although there is sharp increase in atheist/agnostics coming back and then believing in deity afterward, as they can't seem to deny it).

To me, it's just the kind of thing where if these experiences exist in life, why wouldn't I want to take part in them if I can.  It's not like this base reality has so much better to offer from what modern industrial society has to offer. 

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11 hours ago, Rattler6 said:

I have heard good things about DMT and ayhawasca.  

yep.  I was reading up on the current state of the law.  a 2006 unanimous supreme court decision held ayahuasca is legal under the first amendment's guarantee of religious freedom and our Religious Freedom Restoration Act (because you know, religion was so at risk here).

Ayahuasca is usually brewed with DMT, plus B. caapi contains several alkaloids that act as an MAOI.  Sometimes I see it talked as including psilocybin, but I don't' think that is usually correct.  Anyhow, I just read that one potential risk to to get serotonin syndrome, if one is also on antidepressants at the time, or if one takes an excessive amount of ayahuasca.  our body builds up too much serotonin. Symptoms of serotonin syndrome can lead to headache, disorientation, agitation and high blood pressure. It can potentially be fatal as well.

however, from the book I'm reading, actual severe problems with dangerous high blood pressure, overheating, etc. seem to be exceedingly rare to the point that I'm not sure there are any real documented cases.  ER visits from DMT are virtually unheard of, even though there has been expansion of something like 100 - 200% in usage since the 2006 supreme court decision.  That's a bit misleading because usage was already virtually non existent, so it still is not exactly widespread.

Anyway, my goal would be to learn as much as possible, take precautions (which I'm now thinking might be to taper off antidepressants first), and hopefully participate with an experienced shamen or guide.

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7 hours ago, gandolfication said:


To me, it's just the kind of thing where if these experiences exist in life, why wouldn't I want to take part in them if I can.  It's not like this base reality has so much better to offer from what modern industrial society has to offer. 

Egg Zachary! Reminds me of when I was in high school...my buddy's older brother was into something called Eckankar. He described it as "soul traveling" and a shortcut to finding God. It sounded fascinating so I had him attempt to teach me. It didn't pan out for me at the time. But I'm always looking for more meaningful experiences along these lines.

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29 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

Egg Zachary! Reminds me of when I was in high school...my buddy's older brother was into something called Eckankar. He described it as "soul traveling" and a shortcut to finding God. It sounded fascinating so I had him attempt to teach me. It didn't pan out for me at the time. But I'm always looking for more meaningful experiences along these lines.

Ha, I looked that up.  Sounds as kooky as all religion, but I totally agree with you.  I'm not going to pretend I'm too cool and not looking for something better.  Interestingly to me (although not surprisingly), Michael Pollan in his book researching this, talks about how this longing for transcendent experience is universal - even among non-spiritual people it seems (of which he is one).

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So I've been reading/researching this DMT and psyche delics...and I'll probably be on this for a while until I try it therapeutically.

And came across this yesterday:

The ancient Egyptians used the blue lotus water lily for psychotropic trips. it either contains DMT, or something quite similar. It turns out Moses (who was historical regardless of the accuracy of the OT), at his  famous burning bush experience, where he received the Torah and was the only character in Biblical history to ever "see" god and live to tell about it. I don't think this is altogether new, but a professor of cognitive psychology at Hebrew University in Jerusalem, theories that Moses (and lots of other Characters in the bible), likely did have visions and experiences with god, because they used the acacia tree and peganum harmala bush, both native to the Negev and Sinai during religious ceremonies, and the native acacia trees are very high in DMT, the peganum harmala is rich with MAOI, if used together, together, essentially ayahuasca, which produces 'trips' in people much, much longer in time than short-acting DMT alone, and in which, yes, they see visions and think they encounter godlike experiences.

It's kind of funny, isn't it?

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Posted (edited)

godddammit (see, it's not blasphemy the way I spelled it), the dumb paralegal emailed one partner about an opposing counsel's late reply to one of my filings, saying--erroneously--that opposing counsel's filing "was over a month late!", and she's objected to our filings, so we should file a motion to strike her late filing.  She should have filed a motion for extension.  So the partner replies, and says, "this is Rob's* baby.  Have him file a motion to strike!"

Thing is though, Rule 12(F)'s grounds for a motion to strike do not include untimely filing (because that would be stupid).  Nonetheless, I have a motion to strike about done when I'm referencing about 5-6 different sources of information for this...docket, local rules of practice and procedure, state rules, facts, and I notice her filing was only 2 days late.  Sr. partner and my direct boss comes in, I ask him, and he says, in affect, yah that's stupid, don't do it.  I probably should have gone to the first partner, although he made quite clear he doesn't want to bother with it.  Do I:

a) reply or go tell paralegal-Ratched that she got the date wrong, it was only 2 days late

b) do nothing
or
c) get a little more creative and complete my in-process motion to strike based on the rule's actual grounds, which include claims or defenses that are "redundant, immaterial, impertinent or scandalous matter"?

Actually, when I first read her low-quality Reply to my Response in Opposition to her Motion for Summary Judgment, my first thought was, this is both redundant and immatieral...so maybe I'll go that way, and hope it irritates the judge less, meanwhile, gets me out of conflicting directives a little.

I have 2 other (bad) cases with this same judge, who isn't loving the fact that I'm taking them toward trials.  This would not be granted and would just p*ss him off or make us look like aholes.

It would be great Para-Ratched, if you'd help instead of getting facts wrong and erecting obstacles here.

She's usually sharp on facts and procedure, but this is the second time in about a month that she's just gotten something blatantly wrong, with me to pick up her slack.  I'm not amused, but can't really do anything....I was about to email her back, and contemplated cc-ing the partner, just to clarify and clear up that it was only 2 days late (impliciation: we'd look like total jack-a**es...actually we would even if it had been a month late - the judge doesn't care, and anyway, this is one I'm pretty confident I'm going to win on the merits, because her motion for summary judgment was weak tea, and my response was good and right on the law and facts.  Should be an easy decision for the judge.

It matters not at all in the case; only in the dumb politics of the firm, and potentially the court.

I think I'll get 2 other things done, call it a morning, go to lunch with Matt and Kevin, and ask about the politics and my notion to file a motion (odd that that rhymed) on slightly more substantive grounds to strike. 

Jesus, the nonsense...well, it isn't just me, this is the kind of mind-numbing minutiae that is part of practice and procedure for all litigators.  

*also, I've tired of worrying about my name here.  Hi I'm Rob, to anyone I haven't divulged that to yet.

Edited by gandolfication

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Ah, well, I just walked down the hall with the partner in question, and he volunteered that it would be nonsensical to file a motion to strike, so I'm clear on that.

In looking up some other stuff, I realized that a while back, I had uncovered a new Ohio statute that was passed to clarify and codify a big Ohio Supreme Court decision that is unfavorable to plaintiffs' damages claims under tort reform.  This became the basis for a motion two of the other attorneys wrote a great motion to instead interpret the statute literally according to the plaint meaning of its text, and in this case, the legislature's mistake, and we won in one of the trial courts (and then I ably defended against the onslaught of hospital and defense motions to overturn).  I had completely forgotten that I had initiated this issue by putting the statute in a memo to the boss.  Good for me.  : )

Now, if I can stay awake to finish right a motion to exclude an expert witness who is unfortunately preeminently qualified, it'll be a good week.  Ah, might as well decide to have a good week in any case.....

Also, I started reading The Fall, by Albert Camus last night, and thoroughly enjoyed his mercurial soliloquy about conscience and ulterior motives....much better than Crime and Punishment, largely on the same subject.

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Para-ratched. Ahahaha!

My boss is pushing all of my buttons today.

I've never read any Camus...I guess it's never too late, eh?

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24 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

Para-ratched. Ahahaha!

My boss is pushing all of my buttons today.

I've never read any Camus...I guess it's never too late, eh?

I never had either actually. Right it's not...it's a fun, breezy little read so far.  but it'll probably take me weeks or months to finish anyway.  :confusedread:

By "pushing your buttons," what you really mean is being a worldclass ahole, and that you wish you could punch his buttons by punching him in the throat.  Oh, maybe that's me I'm thinking of.

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