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BennieEddie

I'm Confused Even More!!! - Update!

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Update

So I got on with my life. Decided to just move forward. In a new job which has increasing helped me to focus on a more positive life. Made me realise my self worth was more. I was surrounded with positivety. I even got a new phone and new number.

This week, I saw my ex at the bus stop. He saw me. Said hello and walked past me.

Two days later, on my facebook newsfeed. He posted up saying his deleted seventeen friends off his FB within the last three months.

Me being stupid and caring. I texted him from my new phone informing this is my new number.

Within a minute later, he replied back thanking me for my new number.

He ignores my texts for months. Doesn't reply. The moment I text him with my new number. He sends a reply back within one minute later thanking me for my new number. I then ask him about meeting up next week. Tells me no thanks. Then I ask him about whether he wants us to remain as friends? He's reply back is "sure, if you want too". 

As soon as I point out - I just want a friendship with him. He ignores me.

Why go from blanking me for months. Then thanking me for my new number. Then refuses to meet up and then ignores me again.

What kind of pathetic immature crap is that?? 

Gosh I am so pathetic.

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No you’re not pathetic or stupid. It’s ok to want to have a friendship with someone. You’re a kind person. I’m sorry its tough for you to be going through all this. 

It could be that he is still in pain whenever he sees you or your texts, and as much as he wants to be friends, he is still hurting and wishing to protect his own feelings. Like someone pointed out, it still seems like he has not delt with his own issues.

If you want to have a friendship with him, you gotto understand his difficulties, which is not easy for you. He needs his space. The best friendships are those that you go for months and years without talking and yet never question the friendship and don’t hold grudges. They understand that life is busy but the Friend is still there. It’s a rare connection that can be attained, but we gotto be strong, especially with friends of a different gender. And if we can’t, it’s ok to cut them off to protect our own feelings.

Hope things are going better for you. 

Edited by Depressedgurl007

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@BennieEddie

You need to cut this guy out of your life completely IMO. Based on your your history (from reading your other posts about what he's done to you), he sounds like nothing but toxic trouble. 

Ideally, we'd all like to remain good buddies with our exes (I blame 'Seinfeld' for propagating this particular fiction), but aside from those exceedingly rare exceptions, it is usually extraordinarily difficult if not impossible.

You need to make a clean break, for your own sanity.

Just my 2c

Edited by LonelyHiker

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On 4/6/2019 at 5:00 PM, BennieEddie said:

He ignores my texts for months. Doesn't reply. The moment I text him with my new number. He sends a reply back within one minute later thanking me for my new number. I then ask him about meeting up next week. Tells me no thanks. Then I ask him about whether he wants us to remain as friends? He's reply back is "sure, if you want too". 

As soon as I point out - I just want a friendship with him. He ignores me.

Why go from blanking me for months. Then thanking me for my new number. Then refuses to meet up and then ignores me again.

Why do you want to be friends with someone who treats you this way? 

If he suffers from mental illness, I sympathize, but MI is no excuse for treating people like s.hit.

 

Edited by LonelyHiker

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Benny, I'd like to offer you an objective analysis because I believe you're in need of someone with an objective perspective. I'm doing this because I care about anybody in need, but I'm having a pretty hard time right now, depression-wise, so please don't take my blunt analysis as disrespect....

I believe he's long-since decided that he's better-off without you in his life. It doesn't really mean you did something wrong: the universe comes together in terms of compatibility.

He only texted (and thereby acknowledged) you that one time, but not every action has a significant depth of meaning: it was most likely a passing moment of "what the heck", where he sent you what he saw as a polite-but-meaningless text. 

When people really, genuinely want you to join them, they say "come join us." When they're only saying it to be polite & avoid conflict, they say "you can join us if you want."
It's a subtle way of saying "I don't want you to join me, but I'm too polite to flat-out say 'no'."

I completely understand where you're coming from (I've been there myself in younger days). But the signs seem very clear... bright & glowing, in fact. A friendship is not in the cards.

Personally, I've found that the most important thing to my mental health is a conscious decision: to put your mental health & well-being as a priority above all the rest. Finding inner-peace will never be a matter of satisfying the hard-wired program in your brain that craves an impossible return to old times.  
Happiness is in accepting the flow of life: learning to create new experiences, new emotions, the changes that you'll never see coming at the start - instead of clinging to that who's time has passed. 

One does not search for new sources of happiness by knowing what to seek out. One sets out on creating new paths, walking them and finding out where they lead. 

Hmmm... my Taoism studies came back to mind. lol
I hope this gives you something to think about, maybe even help. 

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I had a great friend that I used to talk all the time, then she just changed and I didn’t see her in months. I was so happy when she finally came back, but she got pissed off at me and told me that she wasn’t like she used to and that I should stop pushing her down, I just wanted her to be how she was before, but instead she changed and it hurt me a lot. I haven’t talked to her in a while now. 

I hope you’ll find real friends that you can rely on soon! 

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I really appreciate your comments and replies. Thanks for not judging me.

I've deleted this person from my phone and FB. Life is too short for pain.

I know I am worth so much more than that. I need to work on my self esteem issues.

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