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My sister seems to hate me for absolutely no reason. I'm mid twenties and she's 21. She has severe autism and she can't speak more then a 3-4 word sentence. She's always saying, 'George go live somewhere else.' or 'Go away George.' Whenever its my turn to take care of her for the night she's always yelling 'No! No George!" Its really upsetting to me. I'm always very kind and caring towards her. I'm not comfortable around her anymore because I feel like she doesn't want me there. I'm afraid my parents will kick me out of the house because she doesn't want me around. This has been going on for months and I have no idea why. She'll get in the car with any of her other siblings but she won't even let me take her to get her a soda. Again this is really upsetting to me. Today I did something I shouldn't have. I yelled at her. I feel so terrible I'm crying right now and I normally don't. I screamed, 'WELL I LIVE HERE SO GET THE F*** OVER IT! STOP TELLING ME TO GO AWAY!!!!" Things like that. Now I feel like its hopeless. I've asked my parents why she might not want me around and they don't know either. She's gone through phases like this before. Once she was terrified of our grandma for a short phase and she'd scream every time she walked into the room but that only lasted a week or two. I was only like 6 at the time so I don't remember that very well. What can I do? 

Edited by George11211

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Hi. That sounds like a very difficult relationship and I'm sorry for the emotional burden and resulting hurt it has caused you. I don't have any advice for how to connect positively with your sister, that information may be available on websites for help with autistic siblings.

I hope we can deliver some support to you. You're not a terrible person because you popped off at your sister. Maybe you had reached your limit today and her meltdown put you right over the emotional edge. If you're done chastising yourself, try to begin forgiving yourself. It's a road - knowing it and waking it are different things. 

Accept that you're just human, a creature with emotions and real problems of his own. Accept that caring for an autistic family member is very difficult. Admit that you're not always up to the task of trying to deliver care best you can, while being screamed at. Realize that this may happen again and if so, you're still not a terrible person. 

And finally, stop yourself from forming a lot of conclusions about your sister's behavior towards you or comparing how you're coping with other family members.

You have to take care of you before you can be useful in a support role. If you are feeling overwhelmed and need a break from watching over your sister, just for a while, please tell somebody. 

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Hi...I'm so sorry for what you're going through.  Taking care of a loved one with special needs is never easy but please know, you're doing a GREAT JOB dealing with a tough situation.

I'm sure your sister loves you. I know at times you will have feelings of despair, but please continue to have patience and endurance.

At times you probably are tired and exhausted, which can take its toll. Tears fall, and frustration set in. What can be done?

Please know you can call upon God, the “Hearer of prayer.” (Psalm 65:2) He gives courage, hope, and strength to endure. (1 Chronicles 29:12; Psalm 27:14) He comforts our aching hearts, and he wants us to “rejoice in the hope” that the Bible provides. (Romans 12:12; 15:4, 5; 2 Corinthians 1:3, 4)

Also, you, your sister have a wonderful hope for the future!  You all can be confident that in the near future, when ‘the blind see, the deaf hear, the lame walk, and the speechless shout for joy,’ your precious sister will enjoy perfect mental and physical health.—Isaiah 35:5, 6; Psalm 103:2, 3.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

▪ Try to maintain a positive attitude.

▪ Help your sister to achieve her potential level of independence.

▪ Seek courage, hope, and strength from God.

WHAT YOU AND OTHERS CAN DO

▪ Speak intelligently and sincerely with your sister.

▪ Talk with your parents about your sister and commend them.  They need encouragement as well.

▪ Be sensitive to and considerate of feelings.

▪ Share in activities with your parents and other families of special children

There's more information on jw.org that can help both you and your family.

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I'm sorry I was late getting back. I've honestly been too embarrassed. The situation has only gotten worse even though I apologized to her for screaming at her. It scared her and that was what really hurt me the most, how badly it scared her. I have a deep impending voice especially when I shout. She's still saying, 'Go to your room George,' or 'George move away,' 'Leave George.' I couldn't join my family for a play tonight because she didn't want me to come along. She just can't stand my presence right now for some reason and its really hard. I've been emotionally attacked outside my home a lot but now I don't even feel wanted and welcome in my own home. I don't know what I'll do. It tares me apart. 

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I see myself moving out very soon because I don't want to live somewhere where I feel threatened in any way, be it emotionally. The only place I feel truly safe now is my room. I get smart-alec remarks from strangers, glares, stares etc and I feel like I'm a burden to my parents and sister. All my other siblings moved out and are married. I'm the loser who's never even had a kiss, much less a girlfriend or relationship or any real friends. I'm thinking of buying myself a trailer and getting out of dodge and never speaking to anyone again. I'm tired of feeling unwanted everywhere I go. I've been battling suicidal thoughts for years and when I'm rational it scares me. I'd never hurt anyone else, ever. But the likelihood of hurting myself gets high sometimes. 

I couldn't go to this family play tonight because my sister says, 'no George.' She's also saying things like, 'George go take a nap.' ,'George go to work.' etc. I just have no idea why she'd hate me so much. Now I do because I screamed at her but before there was no reason because I'm always so, so caring and kind to her. I'm never bossy and I am never, ever forceful. I just don't understand. 

I don't pray much because I truly feel like God will ignore me or punish me. I'm christian. I feel like if my sister hates me then maybe God is disappointed in me, the way everyone else is. Sometimes I feel like I'm just not panned out for this world. I'm like an old worn out running shoe. Nothing drastic but I've taken lots of repeated pounding on concrete, rocks,  and I'm completely worn down and I have no grip left and I don't see it getting better. 

I've always been implied that I'm worthless, stupid, a slob, a creep, a nobody, and that my feelings don't matter and that nothing I do will be enough. I'm the only person in the universe left who loves me. Everyone else is wanting to get something out of me or for me to get the **** out of their life. 

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