Jump to content

Judging myself because i always feel everyone is doing something more exciting


Steak47

Recommended Posts

So im in my final year at uni so im spending all my time off uni and work at home studying, the pressure of uni is bad enough but im constantly thinking about how boring i am just constantly sitting at home, thinking that other people must be doing exciting things all the time and how everyone is better than me and everyone has better lives than me, these feelings are especially strong when the sun is shining. Even if i am doing something exciting i always tell myself other people are doing better things than me. Does anyone feel like this? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I do! So I spent much of the past 5 years laying on my couch with crushing depression, half-watching streaming TV shows, eating crappy food, wishing for a quick demise and feeling like an ugly bag of mostly water. From that perspective, grinding out a final year at university seems positively riveting. 

On balance no one's life is terribly exciting but because our brain tends to compare and compete - and I guess I'll throw yet another dagger at social media - it may feel as if everybody but us is thriving.

Maybe when you wrap up uni you'll be able to travel somewhere new and exciting?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess I'll also throw another dagger at social media.  Put another way, comparing our insides to everyone else's outsides.  Believe me, this is about the only place I feel free to be Mark.  Otherwise, I have my FB face.

This may sound ridiculous, but have you indulged in a nice, long, hot bath lately?  (iirc, @Atra, Troi would do that)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sort of... except I'm long out of college and feel this way at work. And I know it's true, since others are raising their families, getting promotions, going on fun vacations, etc. As for me, I'm lucky just to be employed (for however long that'll last).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sure everyone is doing something more exciting than me.  Usually the people in my family in their 80s have more of a life than me.  I've had plenty of exciting crazy moments way too many when I was younger.  Now I'm mostly too broken and destroyed to do much of anything.  I lived way too hard and way too fast and now I'm lucky if I remember anything I do.  My body is broken and worn down to nothing.

Edited by sober4life
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've felt this way often and feeling like you don't measure up to others around you is the worst feeling in the world. One thing that helped me was limiting social media. I got rid of Twitter and Facebook. I still have Instagram but seldom use it. That took the edge off it for sure but I still get it now and then. Especially around the holidays. 

When it hits I tend to withdraw. It's a sad and lonely feeling. I try and find things to do on my own to keep things "interesting" but am never sure it is. As long as it's enjoyable to me, that's enough for now. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel like this all the time too. My average day is spent being a disabled housewife who talks to her dog and ruminates. My only friends are my sister, my husband, and my dog. It's not that I don't get to do fun things sometimes, but I figure most people's lives are more interesting than mine.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree about social media. I only go on Facebook sporadically to look at pictures of my sister's baby or my cousin's family. I have a Twitter just for following certain celebrities but I'm rarely on there either. Seeing everyone else's "happy lives" is really depressing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, evalynn said:

I agree about social media. I only go on Facebook sporadically to look at pictures of my sister's baby or my cousin's family. I have a Twitter just for following certain celebrities but I'm rarely on there either. Seeing everyone else's "happy lives" is really depressing.

There are studies out there that show the more people post about their happy lives, the more unhappy in reality they are. They use the websites for validation on to compensate for whatever is missing in their lives. So social media, when used in this way, actually contributes to depression and I'll pass.  I have enough of that without "happy lives" bombardment. So while it's not a comfort to know people are unhappy, they're is something to be said about realizing that not everything is what it seems. Once I did that, I felt better. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 hours ago, Steak47 said:

thinking that other people must be doing exciting things all the time and how everyone is better than me and everyone has better lives than me, these feelings are especially strong when the sun is shining. Even if i am doing something exciting i always tell myself other people are doing better things than me.

By other people/'everyone' you mean those who aren't DF members & have no mental illnesses whatsoever?

I'm not doing something more exciting all the time; going back to office to work full days EVERY Saturday & Sunday EVERY week is NOT exciting.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have to chime in on the social media, people where far more happy and content with their lives before all of this look at me posting started. Did you know that it can take over an hour to get 1 good Instagram post?

Also have to say do you post outside of here how you really feel (even here is it the whole truth?) People are not going to post that well today sucked just like yesterday and I worked a 12 hour shift at a dead end job and went home to eat stale bread. That is not keeping-up with the Jones'.

I know that it is easier said than done but if you are feeling that you never do anything then what have you done to change it?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...