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Can’t seem to care


Tid322

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Have you ever had the desire to desire? But you just can’t muster up the will to care anymore? I am at that point. I’m finding myself staring blankly for hours at a time into nothing. No thoughts. Nothing to recall from hours wasted. An empty soul in an empty shell. 

 

Every single thing I used to love, I’ve become indifferent to. Nothing sparks joy, excitement, promise. I desire so much to desire but I could not care any less about life. I am not suicidal, because I don’t care enough to be.

 

I feel pointless and purposeless. I find no reasoning in trying to seek help. “Help”, is never the kind I need and is always fruitless.

 

I’m not sure how to fix myself but nothing has worked so far and continuing to do nothing is so much easier. Sometimes I pretend to be doing something on my phone, so I don’t arouse my family’s interest in me. I don’t want my children to know I am literally wasting my life away in a mental abyss. I don’t wish this knowledge upon them. I wish I cared enough to care for me but, I don’t. 

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We understand only to well your predicament.

Depression will trap us within ourselves.

My approach is to acknowledge the deep, dark abyss as a natural formation/resource.

I know what it is like to "wallow in the hollow".

I must anchor myself outside the depression cave.

If I need to take temporary shelter near the ENTRANCE/EXIT of my depression cave I can do it.

The idea is to be as clever as possible with powerful metaphors.

Perhaps this can be food for thought.

Oscar

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