Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Is it really as easy as changing the way we think and view things? If so, why is it so hard to change the way we think? I don't want to be depressed. Don't want to be pitied or felt sorry for. Don't want people to feel like they walk on eggshells around me either. I don't. I just want to feel confident, hopeful and feel at ease like so many seemingly do. Depression is a hard disease because most people think we are the problem and that we don't want to be happy (i find myself thinking this sometimes)- but why would anyone CHOOSE to be unhappy? And is it fair to be classified that way for the few who do take advantage? I would love nothing more than to post that I've been cured and found happiness, but then again I would never because I wouldn't want to make anyone feel bad or unworthy of such a miracle should it ever happen. I do feel guilty when someone is suffering more than me. Am I boxing myself into depression for feeling his way?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Flooded no it is not a choice it is an illness. There are very few of us that choose to feel so down, guilt seems to be a part of the game we are stuck in. Just know that you have found a place of support. Yes society does often view those who are depressed as the cause of the problem. All we can do is educate those who will listen and take care of ourselves.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Part of the problem is that people understand depression as a feeling that comes when you are sad about a situation and it will past. Many of us have the depression as a clinical illness that we can't control. Part of this illness is that it robs us of happiness. Yet I can find a lot of small things that I am grateful for, lower my expectations, and accept that I have a serious illness to live with and do as well as I can to get the help I need and be gentle with myself one step at a time.

BW

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't really know why i cant start my day full of energy.i don't know it is illness or i want to be sad.i just know my felling is not good and i want to not exist.im really confuzed by all of these thought.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The new age spiritual mindset will try to make you believe that you have a choice and that it is just as easy as thinking positively, meditating and doing loads of yoga. But it is an illness. It would be like telling someone that has diabetes to just tell their body to start producing more insulin. The difficult part of having an illness of the mind is that it tricks you into believe that you are worthless, that you are choosing this and that you somehow have the power to will it away. Even more difficult is that the treatment options are horrible. So it leaves a large population having the huge burden of going through life with a much suffering. You are not choosing to be unhappy. You were just born into a world that misunderstands and poorly treats many illnesses, especially ours. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a different view of depression than most people.

I see depression as a natural condition/formation/resource.

I invoke a cave metaphor to strategize my depression experience.

This approach requires serious work to anchor myself outside the deep, dark, dangerous depression cave.

I refuse to go back into that bottomless abyss.

I just think we can keep our backs turned away from the emptiness.

Metaphorically speaking of course.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

@Flooded pity ? BRO you are a legend!! i have a theory that only good people get depressed. i pity the people around me for not experiencing depression lol Because depression gave me a goal they don't. you are on the right track my dude, just think about What do you want to do in life , HOWEVER hard it will seem to u! tell me what is ur purpose/desire/dream and i will tell u how to do it and i will help u to realize your purpose in life! pro tip:  nothing is hard in this life it's a joke! its soo easy!

and NO a job/career is just too boring to aim for, THINK HIGHER 😄

😄

Edited by Goldenspirit95

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The treatment options destroyed what little of me there was left.  No I wouldn't choose to be anything that I am.  Nobody would.  My life will never be good or anything that even comes close to normal and my story will end in tragedy after a long miserable battle where I make a fool of myself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Depression can't be pushed away, trust me, I've tried. I've been through the same motions, feeling guilty because I couldn't help myself.

Depression is a chemical imbalance in your body, until you fix that imbalance and fix whatever factors in your life are causing you to feel this way, your depression will stick around.

My psychiatrist explained this to me. Unfortunately like so many have said already, treatment options are pretty much non-existent unless your able to pay to go private. My psychiatrist appointment cost 100 pounds. A luxury that many can't afford. And I guess I was lucky enough that my psychiatrist understood me. He understood my illness and gave me the right diagnosis with the right treatment. And thanks to that, I've been gradually getting better.

Don't blame yourself for the way that you feel. I know it's not easy, to get rid of that feeling of guilt. But it's important that peoples perspectives on mental health change. It's not something that we choose to attract into our lives. It's not something that we can control. So go easy on yourself. Your suffering from a terrible illness, and even in your suffering your able to still care and be considerate towards others. That's something to be proud of.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

@Flooded, your post resonated with me...and apparently quite a few others, as well.  All the feelings you've described are unwelcome daily companions for most of us.

Oh, y'know, if only I COULD choose not to be depressed.  Believe me, I've tried.  And that can be as simple as "choosing" whether or not to take out the trash.  It boggles that some days I simply can't muster up the so-called will to do a simple task.

We can have a few choices.  One that's a tall order has been to get professional help.  Make no mistake, given phone calls, showing up for an appointment or even picking up meds, it's often been a monumental task.

Another, perhaps a little easier for me, has been to jettison people who are incapable of empathy...at the very least, setting significant boundaries.  Not surprisingly, they often won't/can't understand.  Well, I'll tell you, I've survived with this so long, I usually don't give a damn if they don't get it.  It's taken A LOT of practice and I'm still doing it every week. 

What gives me a little comfort is that I'm doing exactly what I need to do to relieve the external pressures.  In the process, I can even sometimes accept I'm not here to live up to THEIR standards.  In a nutshell, "no" has become one of my favorite words.

Edited by MarkintheDark

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If only it was as easy as thinking yourself better, can mindset have some affect but I think very few can think themselves better. I get so tried of people telling me it is my attitude. Oh yes I want to hate life, I want to be lonely and everything else, what a load of bull..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have said this numerous times but I'll say it again.

My depression (metaphorical) cave is always there so I metaphorically "anchor" myself outside the deep, dark, dangerous abyss.

Sometimes I need to take temporary shelter near the ENTRANCE/EXIT but taking up long-term residence can't be an option for me.

I know what it is like to be lost and trapped within myself and I don't want to go back to that bleak existence.

Metaphors or as I like to think of them : MEDaphors requires heavy duty imagination.

I believe we can find the way out of our depression caves with determined cleverness.

I hope this can be some help.

Oscar

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think the only choice we have is how we deal with this creature.

Oscar used the metaphor of a cave. I use the metaphor of an entity, a creature that I know is wrong but doesn't help me not listen to it at times. That I have had to learn how to coexist with. Though sadly it has the upper hand lately. But changing how we think, that sometimes requires others.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/28/2019 at 4:33 PM, Snow47 said:

I don't really know why i cant start my day full of energy.i don't know it is illness or i want to be sad.i just know my felling is not good and i want to not exist.im really confuzed by all of these thought.

For some time I felt like "it was just me and that I was choosing to be sad" usually that is not so.  It seems to me you want to be happy...... Right?  You are most likely not choosing to be sad and with no energy.  There is A LOT of good support here, I will start by saying that, however sometimes we need a little more help such as talking with a therapist, and possibly even medication to help get us over the hump so that we can have more energy and regain our interest in doing activities.

Have you mentioned your feelings to your Doctor/Physician?  Are you currently taking any medications?

Please keep in mind that if you are suffering from depression that IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!  You cannot just snap yourself out of it.  I would like to hear back from you and am glad to offer any advice or support that I can.  I have plenty of first-hand experience with depression and anxiety.   --- Jay B.

+

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/28/2019 at 5:29 PM, Oscar K said:

I have a different view of depression than most people.

I see depression as a natural condition/formation/resource.

I invoke a cave metaphor to strategize my depression experience.

This approach requires serious work to anchor myself outside the deep, dark, dangerous depression cave.

I refuse to go back into that bottomless abyss.

I just think we can keep our backs turned away from the emptiness.

Metaphorically speaking of course.

Interesting metaphor..... When actively treating your depression it can be hard work.  I have not found that "magic pill" that makes the depression completely go away.  I go to therapy once a week, take my anxiety and anti-depressant, journal, and also attempt to "keep my back turned away from the emptiness".

I will say at least based on my experience for us that are experiencing major depression there really is no one thing that makes it all better.  Certainly will power alone is not enough although we do have to dig deep within ourselves and apply whatever tools we have to feel better.

I agree that will power, such as your metaphor, can be a big help.  I am glad you shared that, it will be an additional tool in my arsenal.  Thanks!

-- Jay B.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
  On 3/28/2019 at 5:29 PM, Oscar K said:

I have a different view of depression than most people.

I see depression as a natural condition/formation/resource.

I invoke a cave metaphor to strategize my depression experience.

This approach requires serious work to anchor myself outside the deep, dark, dangerous depression cave.

I refuse to go back into that bottomless abyss.

I just think we can keep our backs turned away from the emptiness.

Metaphorically speaking of course.

Interesting metaphor..... When actively treating your depression it can be hard work.  I have not found that "magic pill" that makes the depression completely go away.  I go to therapy once a week, take my anxiety and anti-depressant, journal, and also attempt to "keep my back turned away from the emptiness".

I will say at least based on my experience for us that are experiencing major depression there really is no one thing that makes it all better.  Certainly will power alone is not enough although we do have to dig deep within ourselves and apply whatever tools we have to feel better.

I agree that will power, such as your metaphor, can be a big help.  I am glad you shared that, it will be an additional tool in my arsenal.  Thanks!

-- Jay B.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
36 minutes ago, jayb1233 said:

Interesting metaphor..... When actively treating your depression it can be hard work.  I have not found that "magic pill" that makes the depression completely go away.  I go to therapy once a week, take my anxiety and anti-depressant, journal, and also attempt to "keep my back turned away from the emptiness".

I will say at least based on my experience for us that are experiencing major depression there really is no one thing that makes it all better.  Certainly will power alone is not enough although we do have to dig deep within ourselves and apply whatever tools we have to feel better.

I agree that will power, such as your metaphor, can be a big help.  I am glad you shared that, it will be an additional tool in my arsenal.  Thanks!

-- Jay B.

Thanks and welcome to our awesome forum.

I firmly believe we have a vast reservoir of cleverness to help us get through this troubling existence.

Metaphors or as I like to call them :MEDaphors can really make a positive impact on our psyches.

Anyway maybe this is nutritious food for thought.

Oscar

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎3‎/‎28‎/‎2019 at 2:22 PM, Flooded said:

Is it really as easy as changing the way we think and view things? If so, why is it so hard to change the way we think? I don't want to be depressed. Don't want to be pitied or felt sorry for. Don't want people to feel like they walk on eggshells around me either. I don't. I just want to feel confident, hopeful and feel at ease like so many seemingly do. Depression is a hard disease because most people think we are the problem and that we don't want to be happy (i find myself thinking this sometimes)- but why would anyone CHOOSE to be unhappy? And is it fair to be classified that way for the few who do take advantage? I would love nothing more than to post that I've been cured and found happiness, but then again I would never because I wouldn't want to make anyone feel bad or unworthy of such a miracle should it ever happen. I do feel guilty when someone is suffering more than me. Am I boxing myself into depression for feeling his way?

Thanks, for sharing my friend because I felt this way the beginning of the week.  I'm

so glad that I was able to overcome that spell really quicker.  All praises go to my Healer

and my Deliver.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/28/2019 at 2:22 PM, Flooded said:

Is it really as easy as changing the way we think and view things? If so, why is it so hard to change the way we think? I don't want to be depressed. Don't want to be pitied or felt sorry for. Don't want people to feel like they walk on eggshells around me either. I don't. I just want to feel confident, hopeful and feel at ease like so many seemingly do. Depression is a hard disease because most people think we are the problem and that we don't want to be happy (i find myself thinking this sometimes)- but why would anyone CHOOSE to be unhappy? And is it fair to be classified that way for the few who do take advantage? I would love nothing more than to post that I've been cured and found happiness, but then again I would never because I wouldn't want to make anyone feel bad or unworthy of such a miracle should it ever happen. I do feel guilty when someone is suffering more than me. Am I boxing myself into depression for feeling his way?

Yeah, the moments I felt so so down and depressed... I wished there was a pill to fix that emotional pain as quick as Tylenol fixes a headache. A lot of the time, normal day things, I can focus my mindset and kick myself into reality but when the hard times hit, there’s no kicking. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Depression is an illness and not a choice. However, we do have a choice when it comes to fighting or indulging in it, some choose the later. 

On 3/28/2019 at 8:22 PM, Flooded said:

but why would anyone CHOOSE to be unhappy

There is something called the martyr complex / victim mentality which can actually make people feel good on some twisted level and allows them to avoid responsibility. There can also be a certain comfort in being unhappy if it's all someone knows, you even hear about people who have been in a hospital or prison for a long time not wanting to leave, despite being miserable it's a constant and less scary than the outside world. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, lonelyforeigner said:

Depression is an illness and not a choice. However, we do have a choice when it comes to fighting or indulging in it, some choose the later. 

There is something called the martyr complex / victim mentality which can actually make people feel good on some twisted level and allows them to avoid responsibility. There can also be a certain comfort in being unhappy if it's all someone knows, you even hear about people who have been in a hospital or prison for a long time not wanting to leave, despite being miserable it's a constant and less scary than the outside world. 

Well, said my friend and I totally agree with you.  I have even seen myself at times wanting my wife to feel

sorry for me at times because of the way I feel.  However, she isn't having no part in my misery when I'm down and out.

It's actually a blessing when I think about it because it causes me to come out of my state of depression.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...