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braindead

manic panic

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(sorry, my capslock key is broken.)

ive reached a state where i dont know what to do anymore. i have no one to talk to about how i feel, doing it feels pointless and overdramatic anyway. nothing makes me happy. i dont feel like doing anything. everything i used to feel x10. its making me feel manic. like im just getting pushed around through life without thinking about anything, i feel like a shell. i'm supposed to be thinking about colleges and careers right now, but thinking about next week sends me into a panic. 

work work work work til you die.

whats the point in a career if that's what happens?

might as well just die when the atmosphere finally gets done in by exxon mobile. maybe if im lucky in my next life ill get to be one of the new species who evolves from whatever crawls out of the radiated sewage after the world ends and i wont have depression

i need some damn drugs before i really do off myself : / but having to talk to a psychiatrist or something would be such a drag. having to talk about how i feel feels like such a chore. anyone relate?

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Yes, I can relate as all of life seems like a chore and all these chores are waring me out. What has helped me is getting the help and support I need, like a good therapist and psychiatrist, sharing with a few good friends, and being on this forum. You might look into ERDR therapy as you don't have to go into all the details of your life yet you can get the feelings out and have closure for the events that have happen to you. Life can be so overwhelming. So I work a doing one step at a time. Hope you find what you need that works for you. Hang in there with us.

BW

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I think I completely lost interest in life once I realized that all it boils down to for is supporting yourself, and maybe getting married and then probably divorced and having kids. I don’t have any particular strengths or the ambition to bankroll my life doing something interesting. I’m not even competent enough to live like a normal third year old on the lowest rung. 

 

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