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Coloradogirl

Scoripo boyfriend deeply depressed needs insight

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Around December I reconnected with a childhood friend. We grew up together and in high school went our separate ways. I was always his what might have been crush. We have always remained connected via facbook and family. He is a Scorpio and I am a Gemini. He is also married and I have been single for many years. He is in the process of a divorce. He still has strong ties to her. She is also very controlling. We started talking in December and a week in he was making plans to come see me before I had surgery. We are many miles apart. We connected and we connected on a level that just doesn't happen for everyone. Especially for a Scorpio and a Gemini. We have been completely transparent with one another. Having a childhood connection has helped I believe. Well he came to see me and our connection just grew. We have talked about us long term and how we want this relationship to have a strong foundation. 

Fast forward he started getting really down and depressed. His children which are his life are having a hard time with mom and dad not being together. Mind you they have been separated for a year. Well that gets him down as it would me. 

I don't know how much interaction him and his soon to be ex have because he keeps that part of his life pretty private. He lets me in at times which I appreciate. But lately things have really been strange. We haven't gone a day without speaking since December and he has just shut down. He is seeking out counseling because he just can't handle everything. He is shutting me out. I have seen very blunt with him on how I feel about his ex. How it also bothers me. 

I am completely in love with this man even though I have not told him. We have been a rock for one another with the problems we both have faced in the small amount of time we have been dating. 

I've read that a Scorpio man and a Gemini woman do not mix well but that has not been the case with us. It has felt like coming home. We can both agree to that. 

But I am so confused as to why he has shut me out. No calls and only a few text messages. He is in a dark place this I know. He is hurting, he needs to find himself again after being a we for 20 years he is now alone and he can't handle the being alone part. 

Can someone give me some insight on how to approach him or how I should handle the situation? I offer words of encouragement and told him I am here if he needs to talk. 

I always think the worst and think him and his ex are going to get back together because I know they interact daily, multiple times a day. She calls and texts all the time. 

I am just so confused. Seeking out some insight on this situation from an outsider. For once I met a guy I don't want to run from. I just don't want his depression to pull me down as well.

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Hi Coloradogirl and welcome to the Forums.

I am so sorry that you are suffering from this terrible situation you described.  How utterly heartbreaking and stressful ! 

Since I have never been good in relationships, I am the last person on earth to offer advice.  Hopefully others here with similar experiences will be able to be helpful to you.  There are many members here who, although not in the same situation you are in, are in or have been in situations that mirror yours. 

Is your depressed friend receiving any kind of medical treatment for his mood?

I would like to write more but am suffering tendinitis in my hands so I cannot type for long.  I do want to tell you again how very, very sorry I am for your predicament and the anguish and pain it is causing you ! ! !   - epictetus 

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Hi, Coloradogirl -

It has been my experience with the many Scorpio man friends I've had in my life that Scorpios -- male and female -- "hear a different drummer" and always will.  They have their own morality, which may or may not be in sync with the dominant culture's mores; have a concept of themselves as being the "Secret Prince" or Princess (unseen and unappreciated for who they are) and can be unwilling to share their feelings out of fear of a larger pain emerging if these things are spoken of.  In this way, they create that very pain for themselves, though they will probably never see it that way.

Scorpio is a water sign and their waters run deep.  You've done well to let him know you're there to listen if/when he wants to share his feelings, and that's the best you'll be able to do with him.  Unfortunately, this opening up will always be on his terms and in this, it's best for you to accept this and carry on with or without him, as best you can.

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Thank you for you're advice. He is under doctors care. We spoke this morning and he seemed to be ok. He hasn't completely shut me out but he's very close. I fear he is shutting everyone out at this point. 

He is very fearful of more pain and being hurt again although I believe he trusts me, better than most people. I suppose time will tell. It is frustrating none the less. 

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