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How Do You Feel Today? #33


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My weekend is ok. And so starts an endless cycle with work. I feel like because of work I started to become detached with people. Does this make me a bad person? I feel i am doing very well at work and my anxiety and depression is doing anything. With high anxiety I tend to not think and panic. I feel if this keeps up I will get fired. I hate that I have to be the person  dealing with issues that other people screw up.

 

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1 hour ago, AloneGuy said:

Still struggling to sleep well at night.  And today my anxiety is acting up. 

I've been having horrible insomnia lately. I chalk it up to the heat & humidity. Oh, and a hyperactive cat.

Sorry about the anxiety. That stuff sucks a whole lot.

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2 hours ago, JD4010 said:

I've been having horrible insomnia lately. I chalk it up to the heat & humidity. Oh, and a hyperactive cat.

Sorry about the anxiety. That stuff sucks a whole lot.

Frustrating isn't it?  Hopefully it gets better for both of us.  Yeah the heat definitely isn't helping things.  Ha, sometimes I wish cats came with an on/off button.

Thanks, insomnia tends to make my anxiety worse...and vice versa.  

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Gah! Up all night with a sick cat. I don't know if she ate something bad or what. I'm worried about her but had to come to work this morning. Nothing like being extra-tired and worried at the same time. And then having to put up with my boss on top of it.

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I was in a good mood a few hours ago, but I've been up for too long and now I'm in a bad mood and feel anxious. I should go take a shower and try to go to bed; hopefully writing this will get me to do it. Wish me luck. 🤞🏽

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1 hour ago, AloneGuy said:

I hope you got some sleep @evalynn!   

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I'm feeling better today.  Yesterday really sucked, couldn't concentrate and my anxiety was really bad, but last night I finally got some decent sleep.              

I'm glad you got some sleep. Hope your anxiety lessened. I did get some sleep, during the day. Which is fine when I don't have anywhere I have to be. 

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I had a good day for the most part but usually even if I've had a good day when it gets to bed time I hope I go to sleep and don't wake up.  I don't think I've ever wanted to wake up the next day or I don't think I've ever truly thought I can't wait until tomorrow in my life.

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I had lots of energy yesterday and actually felt pretty good and confident.  Today though the anxiety is back.  My dad and I had planned to go to a music store in Denver but I backed out.  I just can't handle going out in public today.   

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Like sh!t; that's how I feel. I was doing well until I found out that my ex wrecked my credit score again. I've been doing absolutely fine paying things off since the divorce five years ago. Never had a late payment or anything like that. But my ex and I signed on a loan together 19 years ago and she keeps missing payments on it, in spite of me sending her bankloads of money each month. I've had it. I'm going to quit working because: 1. The anxiety and stress of it is ki ll ing me, and 2. Why bother if I'm only going to keep sinking lower and lower?

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"♫ ♪ ♫ , And I feel like home made ****---yodel laydee, yodel laydee, yodel laydee."  the Fugs, from their first album, 1965.  I don't feel that bad today, as I'm in the don't-feel-so-much-if-I-can-dirvrert-myself group.  I mainly look at this forum, and stories of mountaineering on the net lately.  Mountaineers detail their moments of freedom, of bliss, when they are climbing.  And posts on DF, understandably, head in the other direction.  They kind of balance each other. 

Bulgakov the Not-So-Much

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So this nocturnalism thing totally isn't working. I'm staying up all night, sometimes into the next noon, but I'm not getting enough or quality sleep during the day. During the day, I worry about waiting too long to take the dog out, so I set all kinds of alarms. Then I can't fall back asleep once I've gotten up. I also postpone sleeping at night when I'm procrastinating with working out...that's what happened last night. I was so tired but I wasn't sleepy and I kept telling myself I was going to work out but the hours kept flying by...instead I ended up overeating and then getting anxious and angry at myself for it. 

Then my mom's birthday is on Saturday so I have to be up and functioning during the day. So somehow I have to get myself to at least get some sleep the next few nights so I'm not a wreck on Saturday. (I'm so tired, that I hope this all makes sense.)

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I feel unloved and alone.  I really have no connection with anyone in real life at this point.  I don't care if I see anyone again and don't care what happens really at this point.  I'm not really depressed but I hope something happens that I don't expect like I get hit by a car when I go for my walk or I fall over from a fatal heart attack.  I'm not depressed but I'm ready for this to be over.

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