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What to do when it never gets better


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Not sure why I'm writing this, maybe it's because I want to document how I feel in an anonymous environment, idk.

Anyways, I'm 31 (32 in July), I've have had depression since I was in my early teens (diagnosed when I was 19), have had anxiety, (which sets off paranoia) since I was in my mid 20s, self harmed on and off since I was 15.

I've truly struggled these last 3 years, worse than ever, frequently wondered why bother, but last Tuesday I had to give up my dog for financial reasons, and it's destroyed anything that was left of 'me'. There is nothing in me anymore, just misery & pain. No hope. Things will never be better. It will always be this.

and I've had therapies, meds. pretty much all that's going, never helped. I think I wasn't meant for this world. I don't belong here.

Edited by too_broken_to_belong
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I'm sorry you're struggling so badly at the moment @too_broken_to_belong..and I'm sorry you had to give up your dog 😞

I wish I had more substantive advice for you.. Depression and anxiety are horrible, I know..

I am happy to lend an ear if you need one... sometimes just being able to vent and let it all out can be helpful.

I just wanted you to know that I empathize..

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Hi, @LonelyHiker thank you for your reply,

I'm getting my dog back tomorrow, I talked to my Mum, and she is going to help me with money until I get back on track financially. And I spoke to the shelter I gave him to (I didn't want to just sell him, and give him to anyone, as he has problems, and I know the shelter are very particular about who they go to) and they said I could have him back. I can't tell you how happy I am.

Obviously it's not going to fix my depression & other problems, I will still have these, probably all my life. But this has made me think, sometimes you do get a second chance, even when you think things have gone past repair.

x

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21 hours ago, LonelyHiker said:

@too_broken_to_belong That's wonderful news! A pet we love can do so much for us, when we're struggling. I'm glad your mother was able to help you with the money situation also..

Yes, sometimes when things seem at their bleakest, we see a bit of light.

 

Thank you. Yes, animals have a pureness to them, I'm not sure how to explain it, but it's a straightforwardness of their existence, and somehow in that they bring true happiness, even the little hamsters I've had in the past have had that. No matter how much they bit me đŸ€Ł

2 hours ago, Summer896 said:

I really, really feel for you. I am so very glad you're getting your dog back.

Thank you xxxx

1 hour ago, Livebythesea said:

So very glad you're getting your dog back. Sometimes a dog is the only being that can make me smile. I have been struggling for years on and off..so unfair that you, I and others have to suffer. You are not alone.  

I've had him back since noon, it was almost unbelievable he was back with me, his sweet face, waggy tail, and exuberance! I never thought I'd see him again. And yes I still have my illness, that takes over my every day, but he is now my hope, even more-so than before, that maybe when you think there is no hope, that there could well be, and I guess the whole thing could be a metaphor for mental illness. To try to be as strong as you can, as there may be a slither of light amongst the darkness.

Yes, I am also sorry that we have to suffer this disease of the mind, that contorts everything into to something else. And makes living so hard. I wish you the best (and anyone else reading this) x

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Animals are amazing creatures for the love, joy, and happiness they can bring. I am so glad you got your dog back, but you need to keep looking for more, otherwise when you ultimately lose your support you will be back where you were when he was gone. I am speaking from experience I lost my little one in January and without him the world does not seem worth being in. You have a glimmer of hope right now use it, so that your dog and yourself can have a better life. I hope that the two of you have many years together.

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