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He taught me more about survival than I'll likely ever need again.

I learned which razor not to use when I shave. Thank you, Daisy, for being economical and mediocre.

 

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I suppose I agree.  With all the trauma we have been through we have the skills to survive anything on earth even if it's as extreme as an alien invasion or if zombies take over the world.  Of course I would rather have peace but yes we do have the strength to survive anything.

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Compromise? Healthy excitement instead of dangerous excitement? That rush is addictive. To me, anyway. I can taste it when I'm belting out tunes in the car and remember the good feelings I had after having "accomplished" something. The only thing that makes me feel accomplished now is school. And sometimes work, but it's easy.

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I used to enjoy the dangerous excitement.  I just don't have that in me anymore.  The feeling I used to get when I would drive too fast on old country roads.  I don't get that same rush anymore.  I feel more grown up as I get older.  I get the same healthy feeling when I exercise in the gym or go for a long run I guess.

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I agree with healthy excitement. 

Admittedly, I'm still pulled by what I experienced as the good parts. It's difficult to be good at something that's bad for you and not have enough satisfying substitutes. There are things I could be doing, but health and money are obstacles. And time.

I don't speed. I just sing. Loudly.

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I sing too.  When I'm really depressed or really stressed out I could probably come up with a whole album of my own.  It's a good way to get your feelings out.  I would love to go on a show like American Idol or The Voice or have a Janis Joplin at Woodstock performance in front of thousands.  Now that would be a rush!

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Posted (edited)

I agree 🙂 ! I agree recovering from trauma makes us stronger, it's a fact of life and a necessary protection/adaptive skill for an otherwise hostile and dangerous world.

Recovering from trauma does strange things to the mind, an involution of consciousness wherein one becomes weller than well in certain aspects. It's a strange thing that hurt and pain seems to be almost a kind of gateway to wisdom and strength and personal power, but it is at least a good thing that can be, nonetheless. Take Dissociative Identity Disorder, for instance, often a result of great trauma and/or traumatic in itself. Getting used to the way the mind functions and mastering the literal collective one is brings great and profound inter- and intra- personal skills that can only be described by meeting a system and experiencing their sense of self first-hand.

Though, in my opinion excessive / unnaturally forced trauma is only good by the ends, the means aren't necessarily justified as growth can be learned and attained with the natural, unavoidable trauma that comes with life even when there's peace.

Edited by OtherKin
edited for clarity

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The Lord says to Edom, “I will cut you down to size among the nations; you will be greatly despised. You have been deceived by your own pride because you live in a rock fortress and make your home high in the mountains. ‘Who can ever reach us way up here?’ you ask boastfully. But even if you soar as high as eagles and build your nest among the stars, I will bring you crashing down,” says the Lord.

Obadiah 1:2-4


Devil and the deep blue sea behind me
Vanish in the air you'll never find me
I will turn your face to alabaster
When you'll find your servant is your master

- The Police, Wrapped Around Your Finger

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There is this term called post-traumatic growth which brings hope that we become stronger and grow from our traumatic experiences as we re-learn that the world can be safe while processing what has happened to us in our own ways. My therapist reminded me, when I lamented how I wished I could turn back time and avoided the assault, that as unfortunate and unfair it seems, we cannot erase our traumatic history. Since then, I am still figuring out what post-traumatic growth looks like for me.

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It's very hard for me to ever be comfortable.  I am very paranoid and afraid a lot of the time.  I honestly trust people here but in real life I always expect people to end up being bad in some way.  I'm even suspicious of grandma at this point.

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2 minutes ago, sober4life said:

It's very hard for me to ever be comfortable.  I am very paranoid and afraid a lot of the time.  I honestly trust people here but in real life I always expect people to end up being bad in some way.  I'm even suspicious of grandma at this point.

I hate to hear that my friend.? Hang in there and hopefully something positive will begin to happen to you.To help you change your mind about the way you feel about yourself and life.

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