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Pete2019

Brand new. Teach me please

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Hello all.

My name is Pete. I turn 30 years old tomorrow (Feb 22nd). My situation is pretty good. I make $40,000 a year in an area that is very low-income, I have a girlfriend who loves me, my parents are both alive and fairly well. My family stays in my house. Parents are approaching 70 and have some mobility issues, sister is profoundly intellectually disabled, brother had a stroke and is fully dependent. Everyone is here. I've been mostly happy (I thought) but I guess the last year and a half or so, I stopped having energy to exercise, lost my abs and my great cardiovascular conditioning, take naps after work just to get through the rest of the day. And the last couple of months, I've been developing a greater and greater affinity to alcohol.

If I drink a few beers or have a shot or two of vodka, I have energy. I feel good. I don't feel tired or like I'm dying. So, I've been drinking (in moderation) on those days when I wake up with no energy. It's strange. When I drink, my thoughts come easily. I'm inspired to write (I haven't written in YEARS). I have energy to do housework, etc. I don't mind going for a walk. I don't just want to sleep.

Does anyone know what this means in the context of mental health? I always was an emotional guy growing up. In my mid-20s, I got sick of the emotional roller-coaster. Started working out. Got into martial arts and long-distance running. Felt happy and stable for the first time since adolescence. Now, since shortly after I turned 28, I don't perceive my emotions as being terribly labile but I'm exhausted all the time. I wonder if maybe I suffer from anxiety or depression (or both), and simply suppress the emotional experience and am only feeling the physical manifestations.

I'm on Paxil. 30mg daily for migraine prophylaxis. I would think that would take care of it. Can anyone advise me? I don't want to become an alcoholic but damn life feels so much better when I have a few beers in me and my brain seems to "turn on" like it hasn't done in a long while.

Any input would be appreciated.

-Pete

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Is it possible that you have insomnia to some degree? You dont eant to go down the alcohol route to get sleep, because it us a depressive substance, quick high then......

i would check with your dr, show him what you wrote and ask his advice on a sleeping pill, if you cant fall asleep

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