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  • 1 year later...

I was diagnosed this as well as some other things late this summer. While it is nice understanding finally why I think and act the way I do, it also is so isolating. I feel so lonely and like no one really understands how I feel and that is what I yearn for. Tonight I'm struggling with a real low mood swing and feeling really depressed and lonely.  

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  • 6 months later...

I have been diagnosed with BPD & several other illnesses for a long time now. As I look back on my past behavior, I finally understand why I behaved as I did. Even recently, I have done things I am not proud of and ashamed of. It’s heartbreaking because during those times, it’s like my reactions aren’t the way I wanted to act and looking back at it, makes me feel like I’m the issue and hurting those around me.  As people see me as my diagnosis and during episodes I have, I know at those points its not me until after what has happened. I’ve lost so many people and now it just makes me hate myself. I’ve been seeking medical help and try to help myself as much as possible, but sometimes it feels like it’s not enough.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Was just researching if bipolar 2 could explain my behaviour and feeling but then found borderline personality disorder and i check almost all symptoms. Going from feeling above everyone not needing anyone, to feeling completely helpless and just hug me and i want to die. I always had problems behaving but i thought thats just cause my parents werent setting enough limits. But i often act and the mood consumes me, if i get angry at someone i will get so angry i will spend the rest of the day thinking that they deserve death for that 1 thing. But when this mood passes i am thinking like, wtf was i think ? How could this make sense, someone dying because he like insulted me or something like that. I will watch the video now though i am afraid i will find even more similarities and not much answer how to live better

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  • 3 weeks later...

Everyone that posted in this topic and described their  symptoms is so similar to my granddaughters symptoms, as she was DX'd with BPD when she was 17 and she is now 21.

It is such a difficult Mental Health disease to DX and to treat.  IMO, I believe it is one of the worst MH disorders that you can have, but there is HOPE!  And HELP! 


Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment: Yes, There Is Help!

By: Sarah Fader

Updated May 07, 2021

Medically Reviewed By: Whitney White, MS. CMHC, NCC., LPC

Personality disorders are among the most misunderstood mental health disorders, especially among people who lack medical or mental health expertise. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V), which is published by the American Psychiatric Association, recognizes ten specific personality disorders. The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) reports that approximately 1.6 percent of adults in the United States have a disorder known as borderline personality disorder.


What Is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental health disorder that impacts the way a person thinks or feels about themselves and others.In most cases, symptoms begin in adolescence or early adulthood.Borderline personality disorder is characterized by a long-term pattern of strong emotional responses, unstable relationships, a distorted sense of self-image, and impulsive behaviors.BPD impacts the way affected individuals feel about themselves and how they relate with other people. 

Symptoms Of Borderline Personality Disorder

Symptoms of BPD vary among individuals.Some people experience several symptoms and others may only experience limited signs of the disorder.Additionally, the severity and duration of symptoms may also vary among affected individuals.

The symptoms of borderline personality disorder may be triggered by what some consider simple events.For example, an individual with BPD may become distressed when being separated from people they feel close to, such as when traveling to work or school. 

Some common symptoms of borderline personality disorder include:

Risky/impulsive behaviors:Someone with borderline personality disorder is more likely than the average person to engage in risky behaviors, such as unprotected sex, reckless driving, alcohol or substance use, or binge eating.They may also exhibit impulsive behavior, including gambling, going on spending sprees, or suddenly ending positive relationships for no apparent reason.

Intense fear of abandonment:Fear of abandonment is commonly experienced by people with borderline personality disorder experience. This fearcan be so severe that a person may engage in extreme measures, such as faking illness or threatening self-harm, to avoid perceived separation or rejection from others.

Periods of paranoia:Stress-related paranoia or loss of contact with reality is common.These episodes may be as brief as a few minutes or last for much longer periods.

Extreme mood swings:Intense, inappropriate anger may occur; this anger may present as suddenly losing one’s temper or acting bitter or sarcastic.Some people engage in physical fights.

A pattern of intense, unstable relationships: Individuals with borderline personality disorder often experience relationships that involve extreme emotional shifts.This may result in patterns that swing from extreme idealization (madly in love) and closeness to anger and intense dislike.

What Causes Borderline Personality Disorder?

The exact cause of borderline personality disorder is unknown, and researchers and clinicians vary somewhat in their theories.Some research suggests that the structure and function of the brains of people with borderline personality disorder differ from those without the disorder, particularly in the areas that affect the regulation of emotions and control impulses.Additionally, genetics, social, cultural, and environmental factors are also believed to impact one’s risk of developing BPD.

People who have experienced neglect or abuse, experienced post-traumatic stress disorder, or lived in an unstable environment, especially during the developmental stages of early childhood, may also be at increased risk of developing borderline personality disorder.Having a first-degree relative, such as siblings or parents, with BPD has also been associated with the occurrence of BPD.

Another theory regarding the cause of BPD involves brain chemistry. A hormone compound in blood called serotonin, which is responsible for mood regulation, transmits signals from one area of the brain to another.Abnormalities in serotonin production and absorption are believed to make some people more susceptible to developing borderline personality disorder.

Getting An Accurate Diagnosis

Borderline personality disorder is believed to have first been diagnosed in the early 20th century.Because BPD is not as commonly known as other personality disorders, misdiagnoses have been common over the years.Fortunately, as more research is done and mental health providers are better equipped with the knowledge necessary to treat personality disorders, more people with the disorder are receiving accurate diagnoses and treatment.

The process of diagnosing borderline personality disorder ismultilayered.A medical exam, which can help rule out underlying medical conditions that may be the cause of symptoms, is usually the first step. Diagnosis also involves completing a clinical interview, gathering family histories, and administering assessments or tests. Only a mental health professional, such as a psychologist, clinical social worker, or psychiatrist, should make a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. 

Because personality is believed to continue forming through adolescence, diagnosing children with borderline personality disorder is still an issue of debate among mental health professionals.The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders sets standards for diagnosing behavioral, personality and mood disorders as well as other mental illnesses.The DSM-V does suggest caution when evaluating and diagnosing children with any personality disorder because some personality disorders present with symptoms that mirror typical adolescent behavior.

Overall, an official diagnosis of borderline personality requires that at least five primary borderline personality disorder symptoms be present in an individual.Those primary symptoms include:

  • Intense and/or unstable interpersonal relationships
  • Impulsive behavior
  • Fear of abandonment
  • Poor self-image
  • Emotional instability
  • Difficulty controlling intense anger
  • Feelings of emptiness or worthlessness
  • Extreme suspiciousness or feelings of being “disconnected”

Overcoming The Stigma Associated With A Diagnosis Of BPD

Because borderline personality disorder is often misunderstood and stigmatized, diagnosis has the potential to negatively impact the lives of diagnosed individuals as well as their friends and loved ones.Being educated about BPD and being able to separate fact from fiction can help combat the potentially negative stigma that is often associated with the disorder. 

Treating Borderline Personality Disorder

The symptoms of borderline disorder may shift from lows to highs.Recovery and management of symptoms varies among people with the disorder.However, treatment options are available.

The treatment approach for borderline personality disorder may include medication, psychotherapy, and/or hospitalization.Treatment plans are generally determined by the severity of a person’s symptoms and their willingness to comply with a recommended plan of care.

Although medication does not cure borderline personality disorder, some medications may be useful in relieving symptoms associated with the disorder.Everyone responds to medication differently.Therefore, it is important to follow directions for medications, keep follow up appointments, and report any changes in mood or behavior or any unpleasant side effects. 

The most common treatment for borderline personality disorder is psychotherapy, often referred to as talk therapy.Psychotherapy is a method of helping individuals deal with mental health issues and emotional difficulties. It focuses on eliminating or controlling psychological symptoms so that the affected person can function more effectively.Types of psychotherapy that are commonly used include dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). 

Cognitive behavioral therapy helps to identify and change unhealthy beliefs, behaviors, and inaccurate perceptions that an individual engages in regarding themselves or others.CBT is designed to teach healthy ways to react to feelings of anxiety, anger, and insecurity.


What Is DBT?

Dialectical behavior therapywas designed specifically for people with borderline personality disorder. It is a special type of cognitive behavioral treatment for borderline personality disorder developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan. DBT takes participants through several stages and builds core skills like mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, emotional regulation, and distress tolerance.

DBT generally involves focus on individual psychotherapy and group skills training. DBT includes learning to apply the skills learned in dialectical behavioral therapy in real-life situations by structuring one’s personal environment and continuing to work with a treatment team. 

Individual psychotherapy focuses on helping a person grasp an understanding of borderline personality disorder, what symptoms may occur, and how to deal with symptoms when the arise.

Group skills training includes the following four modules:

  • Practicing mindfulness or awareness in the present moment
  • Tolerating distress and pain in challenging situations but not changing them
  • Being more effective in interpersonal relations by asking for what you want or saying no in appropriate ways
  • Regulating emotions by changing emotions you want to change

While both medical and psychological treatment for borderline personality disorder can be effective independent of each other, many people find that a combination of medication and psychotherapy creates the best treatment results.

Getting Help For Borderline Personality Disorder



Borderline personality disorder is a psychological condition thatdoes not have a“cure.”However, various treatmentscan help individuals with BPD learn to communicate and manage symptoms more effectively.A treatment program is essential for the long-term health of anyone with BPD; treatment can help prevent problematic life choices and other chronic health issues, as well as lower rates of attempted self-harm and suicidal behavior. Additionally, talk therapy may help those who are close to someone with BPD know how to provide safe and caring support.

Remember that an estimated 1.6 percent of adults in the United States are living with borderline personality disorder—several million people. If you or a loved one is experiencing symptoms of BPD, you are not alone, and you have options for help. If you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide, seeking emergency medical care is critical. If you don’t want to go to an emergency room, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.This lifeline is available 24 hours a day.

Your primary care provider can also give you referrals for mental healthcare providers in your area. Online counseling is a flexible, accessible option, particularly for anyone who wants to find therapeutic support but would prefer, for any reason, not to meet in person.No matter how you might choose to pursue treatment, remember that you deserve to feel in control of your life and your symptoms. If you are experiencing symptoms of borderline personality disorder or any other mental health concerns, these services are available to help.

When You Need Help

The DSM-V defines borderline personality disorder as “a chronic disorder that includes symptoms such as frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, unstable relationships, identity disturbance, impulsive and dangerous behaviors, recurrent suicidal threats or self-mutilating behaviors, affective instability, feelings of emptiness, difficulties controlling anger, and/or stress-related paranoid thoughts or dissociation.” If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, keep in mind that you are not alone. A combination of therapeutic approaches may help you to manage your symptoms in the long term, and one of the most highly recommended approaches is psychotherapy, also sometimes called talk therapy.

Online therapy,such as the services provided by BetterHelp, focuses on offering professional mental health care to individuals in formats that work for them.Online therapy has several particular advantages over in-person services. Because you can arrange your sessions with a therapist around your schedule and lifestyle, you can keep the entire process as private as you wish; you can work with a licensed therapist at BetterHelp on your schedule, by video chat, phone call, email, or text messaging. And if you’d like more evidence, consider these reviews from BetterHelp users who have worked with online therapists to address their personality needs and challenges:

The most important thing to remember is that your mental health and wellbeing matter. With the right support and guidance, you canunderstand and manage the symptoms of borderline personality disorder and live a happier, healthier life. Take the first step today.

Karyn's perspective on my life and my experiences, particularly in my relationships, has opened my eyes to things I've never been able to see before in my own personality and behaviour. She challenges me! She affirms me! She laughs with me! When I cry, she talks me through it and lets it happen! It's been so helpful and wonderful to have an outside perspective on my feelings during a pandemic, especially. She's helping me become the best version of myself. 🙂

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What Is The Best Treatment For Borderline Personality Disorder?

The treatment approach for managing bipolar disorder BPD and similar personality disorders is based on a diagnosis made by a medical or mental healthcare provider. These professionals agree the best method for treating borderline personality disorder and similar mental health disorders is typically a combination of psychotherapy treatment, group and peer support, and medications designed to treat borderline personality disorder.


BPD is a mood disorder that can be a lifetime condition; there is no “cure,” but treatments have been successful for many people.Living with borderline personality disorder can be stressful, both for an individual and for their close family, intimate partners, and friends. Regular, long-term therapy and support are keyto managing borderline personality disorder.

What Triggers A Person With Borderline Personality Disorder?

A person living with BPD may be triggered by mental or emotional trauma. Other existing mental health disorders like post-traumatic stress disorder can also contribute to a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD).

Can A Person With BPD Love Others?

People with borderline personality disorder experience the same range of human emotions as everyone else. With the right guidance, medication management, and therapeutic support, a person with BPD can build long-lasting, loving relationships.

Do People With BPD Lie?

The DSM-V does not list lying as a primary symptom of BPD, but researchers have found that people with borderline personality disorder tend to lie more than the general population. Lying in this context is often a defense mechanism to avoid intense feelings that follow neglect or isolation. Unfortunately, lying can trigger the very rejection that individuals with BPD seek to avoid. It is important to remember that lying from a person with BPD may be rooted in insecurity rather than dishonesty.


Do Antidepressants Work For BPD?

Antidepressants are one treatment approach that medical and mental health professionals use to manage borderline personality disorder. These antidepressants (along with mood stabilizers) may help someone living with borderline personality disorder to balance their moods and emotions. People who take medications for borderline personality disorder are also strongly encouraged to receive psychotherapy as a total solution for managing BPD.

Why Do People With BPDSplit?

People with borderline personality disorder may occasionally become so overwhelmed with emotion that they aren't able to see clearly; they may view reality through an “emotional fog” that can cause them to misjudge important situations. This loss of objective reality is known as “splitting.”

How Long Can A BPD Episode Last?

Because every person with BPD is unique, BPD episodes do not have a standard duration. Some people with borderline personality disorder experience short episodes of “splitting” where they seem incoherent and out of touch with reality. BPD-related episodes can range from a duration of a few seconds to several months or even years.

Are People With BPD Dangerous Or Abusive?

Research has shown that people with BPD pose no greater danger to others than the average person does. However, propensity for violence can increase when other factors are introduced, such as drug abuse, overstimulation, and other environmental factors. Depending on the situation, a person with borderline personality disorder also may act out by becoming abusive. If you or someone you love is struggling with managing the symptoms of BPD, seek help from a mental health professional right away.

Why Are People With BPD So Angry?

People with borderline personality disorder may have a more difficult time processing their emotions. As a result, a person living with borderline personality disorder may process their emotions through anger. Mental health professionals call this processing of emotion “borderline rage.”

What Happens When Someone WithBPD Is Abandoned?

When people with borderline personality disorder are abandoned or rejected, their reaction may be unusually negative or “extreme.” This reaction is due to the fact that some people with borderline personality disorder may be unable to process negative emotions without acting out in anger.

How Do You Make Someone With BPDHappy?

Remember that happiness begins within a person; while you can provide support and encouragement to someone with BPD, “making them happy” cannot and should not be your responsibility. People with borderline personality disorder have better outcomes when they incorporate psychotherapy and medication with healthier diets and exercise. If you are close to someone with BPD, you can encourage them to take these steps to make themselves happier.

Are People With BPDIntelligent?

People with borderline personality disorder are often highly intelligent, particularly in the academic or cerebral sense. Emotional intelligence can pose more of a challenge for people with BPD, who can struggle with processing emotions like confusion, anger, and love.

Do People With BPDFall In And Out Of Love Easily?

The struggle to process emotions may lead people with BPD to fall in love more easily; they may misinterpret interpersonal signals and develop unrequited feelings for others. Additionally, a person with BPD may have a harder time maintaining lasting emotional connections, especially if a relationship stirs up negative emotions, and might bounce from one relationship to another in pursuit of affection. Anyone with BPD who is struggling to find or keep a romantic relationship may find it helpful to speak with a licensed therapist for relationship support and individual therapy.

Is BPD Worse Than Bipolar?

Borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder are both mood disorders that share similar characteristics. Neither disorder is considered by researchers as “better” or “worse” than the other. The main difference in the two disorders is how the symptoms are classified in the DSM-V.

Can BPD Turn Into Schizophrenia?

People with borderline personality disorder share similar characteristics of people with schizophrenia. The differences between the two disorders are that schizophrenia is characterized by paranoid delusions and auditory hallucinations. If someone with BPD began to exhibit these symptoms, their diagnosis could be reclassified as borderline schizophrenia.

How Can You Tell If Someone Has Borderline Personality Disorder?

People with borderline personality disorder exhibit traits and symptoms that can lead to diagnoses. For example, someone with BPD may struggle with emotional processing.They may also be prone to impulsive outbursts or show other key behaviors that indicate the presence of borderline personality disorder.

Is BPD Hereditary?

According to researchers, some evidence indicates that borderline personality disorder is hereditary. People diagnosed with borderline personality disorder often have a close relative who was also diagnosed with BPD or a similar personality disorder.





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Psychotherapy, or talk therapy, is the main treatment for borderline personality disorder (BPD). Several types of therapy may benefit people with BPD, and each type takes a different approach.

This article explores the potential benefits of five types of therapy for people with BPD:

  • dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)
  • mentalization-based therapy (MBT)
  • schema therapy (ST)
  • transference-focused therapy (TFP)
  • systems training for emotional predictability and problem solving (STEPPS)

Below, we also list self-help strategies and signs that it may be time to reach out to a professional.



BPD is a long-term condition that affects around 1.6%Trusted Source of people in the United States. Its main treatment is psychotherapy, otherwise known as talk therapy.

Talk therapy teaches people vital skills for managing their thoughts and emotions. There are many types, and each has its own aims and methods.

Sometimes, a person has to try several types of therapy before finding one that helps.

A person with BPD may also find certain medications beneficial. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) have not yet approved a medication to treat BPD specifically, but mood-stabilizing, antidepressant, or antipsychotic medications may help with anxiety, hostility, or depression.

A person may attend therapy for BPD one-on-one or as part of a therapist-led group session. Also, some therapists offer phone contact between sessions.

Group sessions can help people with BPD learn to express themselves effectively and improve interpersonal relationships.


DBT uses individual and group sessions to help people manage difficult emotions. The aim is to teach skills that enhance mindfulness, help tolerate distress, regulate emotions, and manage relationships.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Marsha Linehan developed DBT for people with BPD and suicidal thoughts. It is similar to cognitive behavioral therapy, but DBT focuses more on emotions and relationships.

DBT usually includes weekly individual therapy, a group training session, homework tasks, and telephone support from the therapist, if needed.

According to a 2016 reviewTrusted Source, DBT is the only empirically supported therapy for BPD. Older studies confirm that DBT helps reduce self-harm and hospitalizations and helps people stay in treatment.

DBT usually includes weekly individual therapy, a group training session, homework tasks, and telephone support from the therapist, if needed.

According to a 2016 reviewTrusted Source, DBT is the only empirically supported therapy for BPD. Older studies confirm that DBT helps reduce self-harm and hospitalizations and helps people stay in treatment.


The aim of MBT is to help people with BPD understand their mental states and those of other people. The underlying theory is that difficulty understanding others is the main symptom of BPD and that this prevents the formation of stable relationships.

MBT teaches people that they may be interpreting the thoughts, feelings, and emotions of others incorrectly. It encourages them to step back and assess whether their thoughts and beliefs are useful and realistic.


Schemas are deeply ingrained patterns of thinking and behavior that form as the brain develops during childhood and adolescence. They can be affected by a person’s environment and experiences and are closely related to how the person views themselves and the world.

Proponents of ST believe that events can trigger certain schemas that then lead to the development of unhelpful thoughts and behaviors.

ST aims to reshape a person’s schemas by revisiting situations in earlier life that had a negative impact. Through ST, a person can develop healthier alternatives to harmful patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving.

Some pilot studies suggest that group ST has promise as a therapy for BPD. However, the number of participants in these studies is often small, so further research is needed.


In psychotherapy, transference occurs when a person projects their own emotions or expectations onto someone else, such as their therapist. In TFP, therapists draw attention to this unconscious process during sessions to challenge unhelpful patterns of behavior.

The therapist helps the person see how they are responding to matters that arise throughout each session, and together, the client and therapist recognize and develop positive alternatives to these behaviors as they occur.


STEPPS therapy is is a skills-based group program that people attend alongside other types of therapy. It frames BPD as an “emotional intensity disorder” and helps people regulate their emotions and behaviors.

STEPPS also helps friends, family members, and others in a person’s support network understand BPD. The aim is to help form healthier relationships with people who reinforce the new skills that the individual with BPD is learning.

Additionally, STEPPS teaches self-care skillsTrusted Source, such as guidance about healthful eating, sleep patterns, and ways to prevent self-harm.

A small, nonrandomized trial comparing STEPPS with DBT showed that both were effective at significantly reducing BPD symptoms over 6 monthsTrusted Source, but that DBT was more effective at reducing behavioral symptoms.

Suicide prevention

If you know someone at immediate risk of self-harm, suicide, or hurting another person:

  • Ask the tough question: “Are you considering suicide?”
  • Listen to the person without judgment.
  • Call 911 or the local emergency number, or text TALK to 741741 to communicate with a trained crisis counselor.
  • Stay with the person until professional help arrives.
  • Try to remove any weapons, medications, or other potentially harmful objects.

If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, a prevention hotline can help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24 hours per day at 800-273-8255. During a crisis, people who are hard of hearing can call 800-799-4889.


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3 hours ago, sober4life said:

Well I was never sure if I had it until you posted the video and then of course I have it.  That video seals it for me.

I was diagnosed a few years ago. It's a very hard road. DBT is key.

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I'm done getting help.  I tried to do better when mom was here.  The rest of the people they can just take me as is for the rest of this journey.  It wouldn't be a big stretch to say they are the biggest reason I am the way I am.  I'm done performing for them like I'm an animal at the circus.

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