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Sad in school

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I’m in school right now. Because I don’t take good enough care of my teeth I need to get a root canal. Because of this my mood has been in the toilet since Thursday. My brother and fathers have always had dental problems and I sort of prized myself on my dental health, undeservedly so. Exestentialism has been a newly prominent part of my depression now. I can’t help but focus on my lack of a purpose. I know that there are plenty of reasons for me to live, be it my family or my friends or my work but none of it seems enough.

Freshmen make me sad. It’s hard to watch them start as just kids and turn into cynical pieces of garbage like me. I sort of watched it happen to a girl that was on my bus, but she’s not a piece of garbage I guess. I don’t know. Luckily I have a therapist appointment today but sometimes it’s hard to say what’s really bothering me even though I completely trust her and am usually comfortable talking. I just can’t help but be angry at myself. I can’t take care of my teeth, I’m not attractive enough, I don’t try hard enough in school, I can’t get a date, and then I get mad at the world for making me like this. 

Ive recovered many times before and I’ll do it again but it still sucks

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Hi. Sorry to hear you're going through a rough stretch.

It appears you're magnifying the significance of some negative things while undervaluing the importance of some positives. To put it another way, if something is not good enough in your estimation doesn't automatically mean it is bad.

Depression tends to make it hard to put value on the small positives that come our way. It tells us there is just one best way for things to be, just one outcome that's acceptable. And it leaves no room for two seemingly opposite things to both be true at the same time. Then we can't help but be frustrated with ourselves when things just don't match up. 

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