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werise55

What’s a good reason to live?

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This may sound ridiculous to some, but so often when I've been on the proverbial ledge, it's been my cat or cats that have given me the reason to live.  They are complete innocents and I couldn't abandon them.  And, yes, I've even sobbed over them.

Edited by MarkintheDark

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A good reason to live is to find good reasons.

We don't want anyone to surrender to Old Man Depression.

We are here to throw lifelines to every treasured forum family member.

Please stick with us and yourself.

Oscar

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One good reason is not being fully convinced that there's no good reason (hope this makes sense with the stacked negatives). I feel that if I have even a nagging doubt, I must give it a chance and continue. This might lead to something I never could have envisioned or expected, including even happiness here, or at least freedom from the pain (which I believe is the main reason most consider leaving, myself included).

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I'm not in one of my dark cycles, but even in my "normal" state I don't really have any reasons. I feel like I just move on from one day to the next like a zombie. 

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The grave has nothing to offer anyone.  At least we have hope while we are alive that things can change.  And with this hope we can try to make a difference in someone else’s life even though we might not see the benefits of our very own existence.  

Life is all about what you can do for others and not so much for yourself.  Once we find value in others then we can find value in ourselves.

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4 minutes ago, Floor2017 said:

The grave has nothing to offer anyone.  At least we have hope while we are alive that things can change.  And with this hope we can try to make a difference in someone else’s life even though we might not see the benefits of our very own existence.  

Life is all about what you can do for others and not so much for yourself.  Once we find value in others then we can find value in ourselves.

But if im not happy and miserable why would i think of helping others?

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15 minutes ago, werise55 said:

But if im not happy and miserable why would i think of helping others?

Because it brings out the best in all of

us and it helps to balance us out.  

It helps to give us Purpose and with 

Purpose comes finding Contentment 

and Appreciation of Life 

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1 hour ago, I need a hero said:

What makes you say that?

I say it because it's true.  I guess I've been rejected one too many times.  After a while you say well if none of them like me than maybe I don't either.

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When I get very depressed (like lately), I don't see hope in my future. So I tend to focus on things not directly related to me.

I want to know what will happen with technology, space colonization, self-driving cars, the enviornment, future history books about now, what will my city look like...things like that.

Not necessarily hope for the future, but curiosity for what will happen.

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

I say it because it's true.  I guess I've been rejected one too many times.  After a while you say well if none of them like me than maybe I don't either.

No one likes being rejected.  I certainly don’t.  I know it sucks.  I still think about that one girl I made a thread about.  I’m over her yet.  But it’s like my one friend told me, “f*** her.”

Even though I like this girl a lot, she’s obviously not worth my time and energy because she chose to go out with someone else.

You should feel the same way.  Those people who rejected you, f*** them.  It’s their loss.  They missed out on being with you, not the other way around.  Anyone would be lucky to be with you.  So don’t get hung up on someone who rejected you.

And keep putting yourself out there because there are so many people in this world, you will find someone, I know it.

 

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1 hour ago, I need a hero said:

No one likes being rejected.  I certainly don’t.  I know it sucks.  I still think about that one girl I made a thread about.  I’m over her yet.  But it’s like my one friend told me, “f*** her.”

Even though I like this girl a lot, she’s obviously not worth my time and energy because she chose to go out with someone else.

You should feel the same way.  Those people who rejected you, f*** them.  It’s their loss.  They missed out on being with you, not the other way around.  Anyone would be lucky to be with you.  So don’t get hung up on someone who rejected you.

And keep putting yourself out there because there are so many people in this world, you will find someone, I know it.

 

It would be easy to think that way if I believed at some point someone would say yes when I asked them out or even treat me human.  It's only a matter of time until things work out would be my thoughts.  Those aren't my thoughts.  How things will really go is I will be harshly rejected over and over until one day someone cuts me too deep and really breaks my heart and I off myself.  That's how this goes for me.

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10 minutes ago, sober4life said:

It would be easy to think that way if I believed at some point someone would say yes when I asked them out or even treat me human.  It's only a matter of time until things work out would be my thoughts.  Those aren't my thoughts.  How things will really go is I will be harshly rejected over and over until one day someone cuts me too deep and really breaks my heart and I off myself.  That's how this goes for me.

I’m really sorry to hear that.  Life isn’t fair.  I’ve been single almost my entire life.  I’ve had 1 girlfriend and we only went out for 1 month.  Depending on who you ask, that doesn’t even count.  I’ve only been kissed. That’s as far as my experience goes.  I’ve been on dates, but they never go anywhere.  I feel really lonely too and sometimes wonder if there’s something wrong with me.  It’s hard to connect with people.  How do you normally approach people who you want to date if you don’t mind me asking?

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Because it's possible to feel differently than I do when I'm in the grip of my illness. Because I know there's a me who isn't a slave to my emotions, my past, and trapped by the barriers I built to shut out everything and everyone.

When I get to be that person, if only for a moment or two now and then, I remember what it is to feel alive. And then there are places I want to go that instill a sense of wonder and awe in me. People I want to meet who will make me think or see or laugh until I choke. Stuff I want to do that leaves me feeling proud, gives me Purpose. 

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2 hours ago, I need a hero said:

I’m really sorry to hear that.  Life isn’t fair.  I’ve been single almost my entire life.  I’ve had 1 girlfriend and we only went out for 1 month.  Depending on who you ask, that doesn’t even count.  I’ve only been kissed. That’s as far as my experience goes.  I’ve been on dates, but they never go anywhere.  I feel really lonely too and sometimes wonder if there’s something wrong with me.  It’s hard to connect with people.  How do you normally approach people who you want to date if you don’t mind me asking?

Well, have you tried hook ups websites like 

POF.  There are places you can go to meet 

people.  Best of luck my friend 

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3 hours ago, Floor2017 said:

Well, have you tried hook ups websites like 

POF.  There are places you can go to meet 

people.  Best of luck my friend 

I’ve tried those before without much luck.

Then again, you really have to have the right mindset to date.  I went on a date once when I was in a depressed state of mind and it was awful.

Better to date when you’re at least feeling okay.  You don’t have to be the happiest person ever, but at least be in a neutral state of mind when you do decide to date.

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20 minutes ago, I need a hero said:

I’ve tried those before without much luck.

Then again, you really have to have the right mindset to date.  I went on a date once when I was in a depressed state of mind and it was awful.

Better to date when you’re at least feeling okay.  You don’t have to be the happiest person ever, but at least be in a neutral state of mind when you do decide to date.

I understand my friend 

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Because you never know what's around corner. New medications and treatments. New inventions and scientific discoveries. New music, new books, new TV and movies, new cultural phenomena. New friends or neighbors or even pets. I would hate to give up right before something amazing was about to happen, and you just never know.

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10 minutes ago, evalynn said:

I would hate to give up right before something amazing was about to happen, and you just never know.

Me too. The way it is now is not indicative of the way it will always be. That's true about loneliness and everything.

Sometimes we just have to find value in the smaller things we currently undervalue. Sometimes it's symptoms like anhedonia that make it impossible to enjoy anything. 

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