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MAOI’s — Anybody on one/Nardil? Lonely

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I was a victim of psych malpractice back in 2015. It resulted in unidentified med induced psychosis that instead was treated as if it was MY problem coming from within my own chemistry. This led to a million med changes, 30 rounds of TMS and 22 rounds of ECT all of which did nothing to help me get better. Meanwhile I was still taking the medicine that was making me suicidally Ill and extreme fear due to not wanting to die but feeling compelled to go with the flow of the force. It was the most tormenting and spiritually terrifying experience I had ever been through in my entire life and still experience severe PTSD as a result of what happened to me. All of this led to “treatment resistance” which left my P Dr. with one last resort option which where the MAOI’s . I hadn’t even been on Nardil for more than 3 weeks when I finally decided to go in patient due to such tremendous fear and losing all hope for recovery. There I didn’t have my usual regimen of skin rash aids and the means I used to manage this awful nightly flare up for well over a year and a half became as much a cause for going Insane as the mental anguish I was in. This issue was addressed by the fourth night of my stay and once it was determined that I needed to get off the “off label” sleep med due to adverse reaction within 48 hours the rash went away and so did the insanity and ideations!!!! Granted I was still very sick but now it was mostly due to the Trauma of it all. This left me taking Nardil as the last option available and  had I gotten off the off label med way sooner I never would’ve had to go on an MAOI. Now I’m stuck on it and fear getting off for rising a relapse of any kind which I cannot afford to go through at this time. I feel sooooo alone being on this awful medication because NO ONE is taking it!!! Has anyone been on a MAOI and what was it like tapering off and washing out and going back on a SSRI? I’m afraid now my brain will be more messed up for tampering with more nuerotransmitter systems. Anyone out there???  


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